~Brave face~

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Time to put on your brave face, child.
Time to face the world and pretend as if this new reality is fine by you
As if every breath doesn't inject you with new worry
As if it doesn't bother your mind,
Your self-destructive, dark mind
By now you know you're not alone,
And that has helped you,
So much.
But you still hurt.
You wish you didn't, but you hurt.
They tell you you're lucky.
You're privileged.
Not everyone has these same life circumstances as you do,
So stop being ungrateful.
Fine, then.
So you shut your mouth and stop sharing how you feel.
Put on your brave face again, dear.
They don't know you feel but I certainly do.
And it's okay that your mask slips,
Showing them
The broken, flawed interior
It's been their all along.
Hopefully then they can see
Everything you've been holding back.
And not condemn you for wishing you could simply be happy,
But dealing with so much, even in utter silence,
All piling up until it's too much to bear.
That brave face won't last much longer.
But it's kept you safe this long.
How could you abandon it now?
Keep it, but just you wait.
Just you wait.
No matter how terrible it sounds,
If you grow desperate enough,
They will see.
But.
Things are different now, child.
Maybe it will be enough.
To let you see.
Not everyone has bad intentions towards you.
But you still know,
Not everyone has pure intentions either.
And that keeps you on your toes, not relaxing,
Not for a second.

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