Love at Spain's Iron Cross

53 - Conflict

53

Conflict

Tuesday, July 6 (continued)

Jordan left some money to pay for their meal and went to look for Makena.

One of the best days ever just became one of the worst. I'm upset and it's got to be worse for Makena. I feel guilty that Greta showed up and brought pain. I'm really worried. I can't lose Makena, not now.

He found her on her bunk, sobbing. He went to the restroom and returned with tissues.

At least everyone else is gone and we're by ourselves.

He pulled up a chair below Makena. He placed the tissue near her head for whenever she might need them. He moved to touch her, thought it wiser not to do so yet, took a couple of deep breaths, then began.

"Makena, that woman means nothing to me, but please understand that she is the messenger who brought my wedding ring. I'm going to talk about it. You don't have to say anything. But at least give me a chance to explain what's going on. I need you to know how much more you mean to me than she does."

Makena kept crying, but raised her head and opened her eyes briefly, long enough to see the tissue. She grabbed a couple, used them to dab away some tears, then continued to weep.

"She is one of the city girls I told you about. I knew her when I stayed in Sevilla for four days to heal a swollen knee. We were friends and I started to feel comfortable with her. I wrote about my feelings and meditated on our friendship as if asking my wife for permission to move on. Of course, Oriana had been telling me to do so for months as her cancer worsened. The conflict was my own, all internal. On my last night in Sevilla, I knew it was okay to feel attracted to someone else, so I took my wedding ring off. I'd started to move on. Greta and I drank some alcohol, way too much really. I think she was trying to help me relax. Then she passed out, so I left. I departed the next morning. I think she has some weird idea to finish what we started, but I have zero interest in doing that."

Makena blew into the tissue, remaining silent as she continued to cry. She didn't look at Jordan, but she didn't interrupt him either.

"I showed up here to trek, just hoping to heal from my loss. Then I met you, Makena. You're a gift. You matter to me. I don't care about Greta. It's not important to me if I neither see nor communicate with her again. I think she's a collector. She wrote that she was sending a messenger to give me my ring, and must have thought she was being clever by sending herself without telling me. For Greta, it's a game. She and I have no future. But I care about you, Makena. You mean so much more to me than I would have ever thought was possible. If we're just friends, I'm good with that. If we're lifelong friends, even better. I hope we've got a chance for something more but I don't need anything else from you. What I do want is for you to know that how you feel is a big deal to me. I care about you and would never do anything intentionally to hurt you." He touched her arm briefly.

She raised herself on one elbow and blew into another tissue. Good thing there was a large pile. Her eyes were red and she still couldn't talk, but Makena looked at him.

Jordan continued, "I can't believe I have only known you for two weeks. It seems like forever. Our talks, time trekking together, and sharing so much for many hours each day, all have helped me grow closer to you than anyone else since my wife. You and I have so much in common, it's amazing. In some ways, I share more with you than anyone ever. Please, Makena, believe me. It's tearing me apart to think that Greta might drive a wedge between us. It's not important if I never get the ring back. Right now I don't care about anyone or anything else besides you. If you trust me at all, do so on this. I'm worth it, I promise you. Please. Oh, Makena, please. All I care about is you and whatever chance I may have to be with you. I just know that I can't lose you. Not now. I can't."