Incorrect Quotes 7

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Texas: I don't know what's wrong with me: I can't eat, can't sleep; I think I'm coming down with something.

Louisiana: [chuckles]  I know what you've got: the "L" word.

Florida: Yeah, leprosy!

Louisiana: No, Florida, no. It's four letters, starts with "L", ends with "E".

Florida: Ah ha, lice!

Louisiana: No. Texas, my friend, is in love.

Florida: Oh, yeah! Loooooove!

~~~~~~~~~~

California: Off we go on our epic quest, no hesitations, no stopping, and no turning.

Washington: Did you remember your headphones?

California: We're turning back, I gonna get those. This is gonna suck if I don't have some tunes or something.

~~~~~~~~~~

Texas: You're stupid!

Alaska: Well your dumb!

Texas: I don't like your hair!

New York: Oh my god he went there.

~~~~~~~~~~~

California: I want attention.

Texas: Babe, no.

California: I want attention!

Texas: No!

California: I WANT IT!

Texas: NO!

California: AAAAAAH

Texas: AAAAAAAH

Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

~~~~~~~~~~

California: Ah doesn't that fresh outdoor air just perk you right up?

New York: TAKE MY BACK INSIDE! IT'S SO HOT I NEED AIR CONDITIONING!

California: It is 70 degrees out here, you are fine.

New York: I CAN FEEL MY FLESH MELTING OF!

California: We're been outside for two minutes!

New York: WHERE'S MY FORTNITE!

~~~~~~~~~~

California: Ok, New York, what do you say when someone breaks your heart?

New York: Tom Holland wouldn't treat me like this.

California: Yes, ok, next question.

~~~~~~~~~~~

New York: [holding up a wooden spoon] This is the stupid, dumb, wrong spoon. I only hit people with it that are stupid, dumb or wrong.

New York: You think you don't deserve happiness?

New York: [repeatedly hits California with the spoon]

~~~~~~~~~~~

Florida: Please come to bed.

DC: No, I got a lot of things going on so.

Florida: [sighs] I got lavender.

DC: [gasps] Shut up.

Florida: And a white noise machine.

DC: You know rain is my jam.

Florida: And sleepy time tea.

DC: Whaty time tea?

Florida: Get in here big boy.

DC: Yes sir. [lays next to Florida]

Florida: And now you have to pee.

DC: And now I have to pee! Ugh!

~~~~~~~~~~

Georgia: Guys did you know there's a knife that instead turns your bread into toast when you cut it.

Florida: Dude, imagine stabbing somebody with that!

California: Well if it was that hot, it would instantly cauterize the wound so it won't be very effective.

New York: It's effective if you want information.

Georgia: Why would you be stabbing people when you could have toast?

~~~~~~~~~~

New York: 4 o'clock; wallow in self pity.

New York: 4:30; stare into the abyss.

New York: 5 o'clock; solve world hunger, tell no one.

New York: 5:30; Jazzersize.

New York: 6 o'clock; dinner with me, I can't cancel that again.

New York: 7 o'clock; wrestling with my self loathing.

New York: I'm booked.

~~~~~~~~~~

Florida: He told me not to tell you.

New York: 5!

Florida: Oh god!

New York: 4!

Florida: Don't count!

New York: 3!

Florida: Oh I love 3.

New York: 2!

Florida: Have you heard about the new iPads with the slightly better screen?

New York: 1!

Florida: Ok, ok.

~~I'm sorry for that next one but I had to~~

California: You're beautiful.

Washington: I am?

California: Totally.

Washington: [smiles]

California: But I'm really into blondes later. [Walks off with Nevada]

I'm so sorry

Ben Brainard State Headcanons, One-shots, and moreWhere stories live. Discover now