I opened my eyes. Despite feeling my whole body scream at me I sat up. Looking around I realized I was in bed in our room. "Was that all a dream?" I whispered faintly remembering the chaos.
"Sadly no," Eren said and I turned my attention to him. He was sitting next to me on the bed. He looked so relieved to see me wake up. I didn't even know he was there. Wait. Why didn't I hear his thoughts or feel his emotions? What's happening? I started to panic for a moment when his thoughts faintly came through. They were like whispers in the back of my head. I could barely tell what he was thinking. It started to get clearer, but it still stayed quieter than normal. "Hey don't stress yourself out," he said quickly.
"Why can't I feel your emotions?" I asked, completely ignoring his request.
"It's not permanent," he said quickly taking my hand in his, "Hanji said you overworked yourself both on the mind-reading and on your empathic abilities so you might be numb to feelings for a little bit until your body fully rests up," he said with a comforting smile.
"I didn't even realize I was overdoing it."
"Adrenaline will do that."
"Wait so how are the rooms fixed? Didn't I pass out before that?" I asked looking around.
"Franz helped Petra using your powers."
"Oh." I said quietly, "how long was I out?"
"About an hour."
"That long?"
"Long?" Eren asked with raised eyebrows. "You do realize Hanji said that you would probably be out for the rest of the night." We all thought it would be a lot longer. I faintly heard his worried thoughts.
"I didn't think I overdid it that much?" I asked. Then again I've never had backlash this bad from my mind-reading or empath abilities since we were in school.
"Are you kidding? You overdid it to the point where we are discovering new backlash. Your powers are barely working right now and you think that's normal?" not to mention- his thoughts cut out and I couldn't tell if I just couldn't hear them or if he just stopped mid-thought.
"No I guess not, I just, I didn't realize that I really overdid it. I didn't feel it until-."
"Everything calmed down and your adrenaline disappeared."
"Yeah," I said, realizing that of course, I wouldn't feel anything with that much adrenaline going through me, and everyone else around me.
"Also Thomas told me to tell you that you're a hypocrite," Eren said confused. "Do you know why he said that?"
For a second I was as confused as he was about that comment until I remembered the last thing I said to him. "I told him not to push his powers past its limits cause we didn't need to deal with backlash." I took a deep breath. "I did exactly what I told him not to."
"Oh, so you are a hypocrite," Eren nodded.
"Well, I didn't realize I was pushing myself."
"And if you did?"
"And if I did?" I asked back trying to see where he was going with this.
"Would it have changed how you would have handled that situation?"
I just sat there staring at him. I wanted so desperately to tell him that yes I would have done things differently, but we both know that's a flat-out lie.
After staring at each other in the dead silent room he just shook his head, "exactly."
"Did I miss dinner?" I asked about changing the subject.
"Kinda, but they saved you some."
I nodded and we headed towards the common area where they left a plate for me sitting on one of the tables. It was neatly covered to keep it fresh.
"You're back in the land of the living," I heard a voice behind me. "You had everyone so worried."
"Sorry mom," I said as she came and took a seat next to me. "You're coming from the front?" I asked.
"Pixis and Shadis just relieved me and Molbit from lookout duty," she said, laying her head on the table and letting out a yawn. She kept her eyes on me the whole time.
"If you're tired then you should go to bed," I said rolling my eyes. I couldn't hear fully what she was thinking since I was focusing my powers on Eren's thoughts just to stop them from bouncing around and overdoing it again.
"I don't want to go to bed. I want to spend some time with my boys," she said, giving me a tired smile. I could tell she was still worried about something. Maybe it's not a worry, but she's definitely watching me. She keeps looking at me as if she were afraid if she took her eyes off me I'd vanish. I could see the bags under her eyes. If my powers were working properly I would feel how exhausted she is, weird she didn't seem this exhausted earlier?
Molbit walked in a moment later and walked over giving me a pat on the shoulder, "glad to see you up and moving," he said with a relieved smile before heading to his room.
Man everyone is really worrying over nothing. I mean yeah I blacked out this ain't the first time and it probably won't be the last. I don't get why they are all making this big of a deal about it.
I just quietly ate my food as mom and Eren talked. I didn't even fully hear their conversation. My head was throbbing too much to focus on much of anything. I know one thing is for sure when I finish eating I'm going straight back to bed. It didn't help that my back and hips were also hurting sitting like this.
I let my mind wander as I started thinking about earlier. Were two lookouts really enough? I mean there are technically four entrances, but two of them were caved in before we even got here. We made the building more stable, but still, I wonder if people can still get in through those entrances? No, I'm sure Pixis has already checked them out.
"Hello?" I heard mom say as she waved a hand in front of my face.
"Huh?" I asked. Were they talking to me?
"I asked if you're an astronaut?" she said and I gave her a really confused look.
"An astronaut?"
"Yeah, I mean you're staring off into space," she smiled. I just rolled my eyes at her stupid joke. "No but seriously are you okay? I know Pixis said you weren't having an easy time earlier when you didn't have your powers and I know right now they aren't exactly working as they should so..." her voice trailed off.
"I mean it definitely feels uncomfortable, but I can manage," I nodded. I mean I would be lying if I said I was perfectly fine with this, but being able to feel my powers a little bit is still more comforting than when they were gone earlier.
I finished my last few bites and decided to call it. I waited a few more minutes so I didn't interrupt their conversation. "I think I should get back to bed," I stood up and Eren nodded standing too.
"I think we all need some rest," he said. We gave mom a hug goodnight and headed back to our room.
We laid down and I must have fallen right to sleep because the next thing I know after my head hit the pillow I was waking up in the morning.
When I looked around Eren was already gone. I got dressed and headed off to find him. I bumped into Jean while I was looking and let out a sigh of relief. Oh, he's awake. His thoughts said. I could feel his emotions as relief came over him, then anger. "Idiot you had us all scared," he said glaring at me.
"Everyone keeps saying that, it's not like I haven't blacked out before," I rolled my eyes. Everyone is making a big deal out of nothing.
"Passed out yes, but not like that," he sighed looking down at the ground.
"Like what?"
His eyes shot back up to mine, "they didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?" I already know I blacked out what could have been so troublesome that it's got everyone losing their shit.
"You were bleeding, like a lot." Jean said quieter this time, "it scared us half to death we thought you died."
"I was bleeding? Did I hit my head?" I asked bringing my hand up to the back of my head to feel for any pain before realizing if I did hit my head Hanji probably would have healed it.
"No Eren caught you," Jean mumbled before I saw the scene flash in his head as he remembered it. Looking in his mind, the memory of it was horrifying. I was unresponsive and motionless as blood dripped from my nose and leaked out of my ears. There was even some blood coming from my eyes.
"What," I said quietly. "There's no way that happened. What exactly was that?"
Jean looked up at me realizing I saw his thoughts. "As I said, we thought you died. We weren't quite sure what had happened. We thought your brain melted or something. Honestly, we still aren't quite sure what happened. Hanji thinks it was just from extreme backlash since she couldn't find any permanent trauma from it, but it was horrifying."
No wonder everyone is acting all weird. Eren was clinging to me practically all night until we fell asleep. Mom wouldn't take her eyes off of me while we were talking last night. I took a deep breath as everything started to make sense.
"Do you know where Eren is?" I asked, pushing these thoughts out of my mind. I don't wanna deal with all of this right now.
"He went to talk to Pixis about the missions and training as well as the lookout schedule."
"Speaking of who's on lookout duty right now?"
"Petra and Auruo. Nanaba and Hannes are planning on relieving them in a few hours."
I just nodded and started to walk away. "Hey, are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should rest a little longer?" he said grabbing my arm.
"I'll be fine, don't worry I'll take it easy today, but if I stay in bed all day I'm going to lose my mind."
He just nodded and let go of my arm, "Just don't scare us like that again dumbass," he mumbled.
I walked into Pixis's office where Eren, Pixis, and Shadis were all discussing training and how much everyone will need. "After about a week of training then we can try and figure out when the mission is, but let's see how fast everyone learns before giving them a deadline," I heard Pixis say before he looked up.
"Levi, glad to hear you're doing okay now, you gave us all quite the scare."
"So I keep hearing," I mumbled remembering Jean's memories.
"You sure it's okay for you to be up and walking around?" Shadis asked.
"Don't worry, I'm taking it easy today, but I can't stay in bed any longer."
"Alright, well you're welcome to join us," Pixis said, gesturing for me to sit in the chair next to Eren.
I took a seat and instantly Eren's hand found mine. It was a little weird it felt like everyone else seemed to care more about what happened yesterday than Eren. I mean he didn't even tell me how serious it looked.
After we finished talking with them Eren and I went to the common area and hung around for a bit. We even watched a few sparring matches. There was an awkward silence hanging between us and I couldn't tell what it was. Eren wasn't thinking about much of anything which means he's purposely repressing his thoughts from me so I can't read them.
The day felt like it dragged on forever, but when we finally decided to head back to bed I decided I wasn't going to deal with this awkward silence any longer. We finished getting dressed. I sat down on the bed and let out a loud sigh. "Are we going to talk about this or keep pretending everything's fine when it's not?"
"I don't know what you-.
"Bullshit," I glared at him.
He just took a deep breath and came to sit next to me. He was quiet for a moment as he tried to figure out what he was going to say. "Of all the things that have happened so far that scared me the most. I thought I lost you. I couldn't even tell if you were still breathing I just saw all that blood and I guess I shut down." He paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking up at me, "I was trying to just push the thoughts away, but I think instead I was pushing you away too. Sorry I was just really scared."
"You know you could have just told me that. I spent all day thinking you were mad at me or something."
"I'm not mad. I mean I was for a little before I realized that you didn't do it on purpose," he mumbled before looking up at me. "It also occurred to me that no matter what that probably would have happened."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you can't control your powers when around strong thoughts and emotions, so being trapped in a small room filled with both overuse and backlash was bound to happen. The only way it wouldn't have is if you left the room or had loud sounds blocking them out, which we couldn't have done either of those."
"So what you're saying is that if we have to do that again then I'm going to end up in the same predicament," I asked as the thought of how I looked popped back into my head. That was less than Ideal.
"What I'm saying is I think that if we have to do that again then we have to separate you from everyone else. Putting a wall between us and you. I already talked to Pixis about it."
"No way."
"But Levi if we don't you will-."
I took a deep breath. I guess I was overreacting. "Okay, you're right." I mumbled, "but only if you are there with me. I would hate to be trapped there alone," I said grabbing his hand.
He went to protest but took a deep breath. "But what if my thoughts hurt you?"
"That's cute you think I'm that weak that one person's thoughts and feelings would be enough to bring me to my knees."
"I'm serious."
"So am I. I'm telling you that I will be fine."
"Fine. It's hard to say no to being trapped in a room with your boyfriend rather than the room with 30 other people."
I just laughed and pulled him into bed. "Now let's get some sleep because I'm beat."
"You don't have to tell me twice. I didn't sleep much last night so I'm exhausted." We laid down and it didn't take us long before we fell asleep.