Authors note~ Hey sorry that the chapter was late guys wattpad won't let me publish the chapter tonight until sometime after 3am since the sight is down for maintenance until then. Sorry for the inconvenience.~TJ
The second the spar started I jumped back knowing that Eren was planning on throwing me out with a gravity field. Sure enough, that was his first move, however, his second move was putting one behind me as well. Guess he knew I would be reading his mind to figure out what his plays were. He focused purely on the one gravity field so I wouldn't see the second one coming.
I almost got thrown out of the circle but I instantly used my powers to pull Eren close to me and grab his arm with my good hand and swing him towards his own gravitational field.
He instantly dismantled it and pushed away from me. He was glaring me down thinking that it was a dirty trick but everyone else around me had to admit that it was a smart play. It was my only play, with me only being able to use half of my power's normal strength it was about all I could manage.
I could see the cogs in Eren's head-turning. I didn't want to give him another second to think. I used my powers quickly pushing emotion onto him trying to throw him off his game. I saw his eyes start to water but nothing else seemed to work. He stood his ground. Gravity flipped and before I could flip with it I got pinned to the ceiling. My other power stopped with my concentration meaning Eren was no longer getting held down by emotions either. Fuck this isn't good.
I saw another gravity field start to appear right behind me. Shit, this really isn't good. This isn't the first time Eren's done this move, but it's the first time I don't have enough power to fight against it and he knows it.
Eren's going to release the gravity and the second he does the gravity field is going to send me flying out of the circle. I only have one chance at this. The second he releases the flipped gravity I need to overwhelm him and pull him all at once before getting thrown out. Normally I would only stick to pushing certain emotions on people, especially knowing how bad some emotions can affect some people, but in this case, I have no choice.
This isn't a normal friendly duel where it doesn't matter the winner. We are both going all out. Neither of us can afford to lose. I have to win this even if it means doing something I know would affect Eren in a bad way. I'm sorry, but I have no choice.
The very second I felt gravity start to drop I stared Eren straight in his eyes and set as much panic and anxiety to him as I could. When I saw his eyes widen I knew he was caught off guard and I used my power to throw him into his own gravity field and send him flying out of the circle.
I was still getting thrown by his gravity field, but as long as he was out of the circle first that was all that mattered. I heard the sound of Eren hitting the floor and I looked down and saw that the same fate was coming for me.
The floor was coming up fast. I didn't have enough time to move my power from where it was focused on Eren to stop myself from hitting the floor. My other arm is useless at the moment. This is going to hurt. I closed my eyes just before impact only to open them and see that I was still floating about the ground.
As I swiveled around to my feet I looked over at Eren who was laying on the floor a few feet away from me. I could tell the anxiety and panic I used did a number on him. He was hyperventilating, his whole body was trembling and his nails were digging into the palms of his hands, but he still managed to catch me.
I ran over to him and quickly pushed a calming feeling over him. I won, but at what cost. This wasn't worth it. Seeing him like that, feeling him like that is the last thing I want. He's going to hate me. That was such a dick move. I know that he already struggles with anxiety attacks and I used that against him for what? A promise that I wagered to get him to listen to one of my outrageous ideas.
"Asshole," he mumbled when he was finally able to take a deep breath.
"I know I'm so sorry." I was a moment away from telling him that I will stand back from the mission just because I put him through that. I won, but by playing dirty it's not a way I want to win ever, especially not against Eren.
"Don't be," he sighed sitting up, "You won, you proved you could do it," he looked up at me and nodded. "Even if you did play a little dirty to do it. However, fighting dirty isn't always a bad thing. This is war, we need a little more of that in the field. We need to be willing to do anything to win." he nodded before letting out an annoyed sigh. "I hate to say it, but you convinced me," he rolled his eyes and looked at everyone else.
Hanji, Shadis, and Pixis were dead quiet. I could tell they were convinced as well, Mom on the other hand was shaking her head. "I still don't like the idea of you going out there injured." She finally said and everyone turned to her. She let out a soft sigh before continuing, "but I know there is nothing I can say that will stop you. So all I will say is that you better make it back safely because if not I will go there myself and die trying to kill the sons of bitches who hurt my kid," she said before walking away without another word.
"To be fair, he should be safe, that was him fighting against another person who has powers most of the assholes they will be avoiding don't even have those," Hanji yelled after her. I couldn't tell how she felt about what Hanji said she had her back to us as she walked away and she was too far away for my powers to reach her.
"Alright, well I guess it's decided," Pixis nodded. "Levi's staying on the mission."
"Seems like it," Shadis mumbled. I could tell he still wasn't too crazy about this decision, but he knew he was outvoted in this matter.
"You two, go get dressed in your costumes and meet us for practice, I will go grab the others," Pixis said before walking away.
Eren and I headed back to our room and the whole way there I felt so guilty. He was just silent and thinking about how practice was going to go, but I still felt like an asshole. I don't care if he thinks it was necessary that I did that, I took advantage of something I knew he struggled with for personal gain. Nothing about that sounds necessary, let alone something you should do to the one you love.
When we got to our room and got changed I finally got up the courage to apologize for it. This time more sincerely than just a ushed I'm sorry.
"Eren, before we head to practice can we talk?" I asked sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Sure, what do you want to talk about."
"The match just now, I'm really sorry about-."
"Hey look, don't sweat it. I know you had to," he cut me off and gave me a smile.
"But Eren, I feel really bad about it. I shouldn't have-."
"Look, I know that you feel like it was a shitty thing to do, but trust me it's not that bad. I'm fine and you know I don't hold grudges."
I raised my eyebrow at that last part. He is one to hold a grudge.
"Okay okay, maybe not that last part," he laughed, "what I mean is I don't hold grudges against you. Not about something as stupid as this. It was a sparring match we both went all out and you did what you had to to win, nothing wrong with that. That's what those sparring matches are supposed to be. Just because we never actually do them that way doesn't mean I'm mad at you for doing them the way they were intended," he said, placing a kiss on my cheek.
"But still it was a dick move."
"It was, but hey I would prefer that then getting hit with another one of Jean's fireballs." he laughed. "Besides, a part of me is glad you won. I would hate for us to break a promise over a stupid spar that was pretty unfair, to begin with."
"Is that why you let me win?" I asked.
"Yup," he said with a smile. "In all seriousness, no you did that yourself."
"But you did throw the match a little," I said and he looked at me a little confused. "I mean it might not have been intentional but you did. You kept your attacks basic. Normally you would be thinking harder about how to strategically throw me out, but this time you were just brute-forcing it which is never your style."
"I guess I figured because you were weaker I could get away with it, but I'm going to be honest I think I was just too frustrated that I wasn't really thinking that much. My only thought was that I had to win to protect you. For a moment I even thought about fighting dirty. Which is why I don't blame you at all for doing what you did. I was going to do it myself too."
"Oh really?" I asked. I wasn't watching his thoughts for the last bit of the match since I was too busy trying to figure out a way out of his hold that I guess I must have missed this thought.
"Yeah, I was going to put a gravitational field by your bad arm and when you were distracted by the pain I would throw you out of the circle, but last minute I decided that was too much of a dick move. I realized that if I wanted to protect you so much then why would I purposely hurt you."
"That would have been a dick move," I nodded.
"I guess we were both too worried about winning that stupid match that we both didn't care if we hurt each other."
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Hey don't be sorry. At least your way didn't directly cause me physical pain. Well not intentionally," he shrugged, "just promise me that neither of us will be so hellbent on winning a spar again that we go that far."
"I promise," I nodded.
"Good, now let's get to practice before Pixis thinks about kicking us both off the team," Eren suggested and I nodded.
"We don't want that, after fighting so desperately to stay on," I laughed. We got up and started heading to practice.