After the 20 minutes went by I could feel Eren struggling a little to hold everything in place. "I'm ready to take back over," I whispered. He nodded and I took back over. Petra gave him a nod and we continued making our way towards the camp. Every once in awhile we would have Ymir ask a spirit if we were going the right way still.
She seemed to be a lot quieter today when talking with or about the spirits. Usually, she would tell us who is around and helping, or they would make themselves known in some way, but this time she wasn't even thinking about who was helping us. Maybe she and her guardian spirit got in a fight? Can that even happen... Probably, I mean Ymir is very stubborn. I don't know all I know is I can feel the awkward tension coming from her.
We only took one more 45-minute break between the last one and when we reached the camp, but that's only because we pushed ourselves to keep going through the pain. I could feel both my pain and Petra's and when we finally reached the camp and Eren took over I felt so relieved.
My arms were aching and throbbing. I was dizzy and there was a searing pain in my muscles. I definitely overdid it this time. When Eren fully took over and I was able to let go I had to stop myself from blacking out. I was shaking and sweating and Eren looked at me and I felt his worry pour into me.
"I'm okay," I whispered trying to catch my breath.
Petra was in pretty bad shape too. She was exhausted, nauseous, and suffering from severe vertigo. That was just the mild stuff that we already knew could happen, but we've gone into the unknown territory and discovered some more backlashes for her.
Her arms had stiffened up and were hard to move almost like they solidified and locked into place. I;m hoping this backlash isn't permanent, but no matter how many times I told her not to push herself she insisted on pushing forward. She kept saying "we're almost there," but her thoughts showed the truth. She was punishing herself for not being there to help us free Ilsa. She kept thinking she deserves the pain if it will save people's lives in the end.
As much as I wanted to stop her I didn't feel it was right to bring this up in front of everyone, when we get back home from the mission I have to check in with her, or at least have mom or Hanji do it. She might talk to them more.
While the others set up for the mission and got a little plan in motion about how long everything will take and how Armin can find the hole when he's ready to come back I turned to Petra. I had her lay her head in my lap and I used the last bit of my energy to push so much exhaustion on her that she fell asleep. She needed the rest and she was practically begging for the world to stop spinning.
Eren looked over at us when they finished there plan and saw her sleeping and gave me a nod. "She needs that right now," he said giving me a smile. "So do you."
"You're not getting rid of me that easily," I said. It would have sounded more convincing if I could keep my head up.
I guess in the end I did end up dozing off. I woke back up at the end of the mission when Armin came back. Eren shook my arm and told me to wake Petra. "How long were we asleep?" I asked as Petra woke up.
"About an hour or so," he shrugged.
"Is it time to go home?" Petra asked as she yawned quietly.
The others just all looked at each other before Eren let out a disappointed sigh. "There are too many guards here to portal out, do you think you two have a little more tunneling in you?"
I could tell how much Eren hated to ask that question, but I knew he wouldn't ask it unless he needed too.
I looked over at Petra it's her call. I can do it, I might face some consequences later, but right now she's the one already struggling with backlash. The stiffness in her arms has lessened, but hasn't completely gone away.
"I can do a little more," she nodded, "besides, we've come this far haven't we. No point in giving up now."
I just nodded along. We tunneled a little further away and right as Marlowe gave us the all clear I felt a sharp pain in my arm. If I wasn't looking at it I would have sworn I had just been stabbed. I silenced myself biting down on my lip staying quiet. I didn't want to give away our position. I let my one arm fall down to my side as I help up the dirt with just one hand. I don't think I can keep this up much longer or the same thing will happen to this arm.
Eren noticed something was up and quickly took over for me without a word. He looked worried and watched as I quickly tried to apply pressure to where the unbearable pain was, it hurt so much to apply pressure, but I knew it needed to be done.
Erwin opened a big enough portal for us to crawl through and we each did one by one. Petra and I were sitting in the back as everyone went through neither of us able to move our arms. Hers were too stiff and numb to support her weight and mine was in too much pain to even think about trying. Before Erwin went through Eren gave him a nod.
Before I could even think about looking to Eren for help I felt something wrap around me. Vines? Hanji! I saw her hand and head sticking through the portal. She pulled me out and moved out of the way. I didn't have time to even think about what was happening as Pixis poked his head into the portal and the next thing I knew Petra came out in one of his force fields. They set us down on the ground and turned back to help Eren finish the last part of the mission.
Have I ever mentioned just how grateful I am that these guys stay awake and on standby incase of emergencies. Eren came through next telling them to quickly put the dirt back in. I looked over at the pile of dirt that was there from when Erwin portaled it away at the start of the mission. Just enough to fill the hole back up and make it look like nothing ever happened. Pixis dropped it in and Erwin closed the portal before it could all spill back out.
With the portal closed and the mission officially over Eren ran over to me to see what happened. Hanji and Pixis also came over to see if both Petra and I were alright.
Hanji took a look at Petra and could feel her arms wouldn't budge almost as if they had turned solid. "There's nothing I can do besides monitor this and hope it goes away," she mumbled.
Petra nodded and thanked her anyway. It's almost as if she expected her to say that.
"What happened there?" Pixis asked, a little worried about both of us. I was surprised he actually let an emotion show.
"Just some major backlash," Petra took the words right out of my mouth.
Hanji looked over my arm and scoffed, "Major indeed you have a grade 2 muscle tear." she said and I looked down and could already see some discoloration.
"Can you heal it?" I asked.
"I already tried too. Usually I would be able to, but I'm assuming that this is caused by your powers backlashing. That's why my power had no effect.
"What does that mean?" Eren asked and Hanji shook her head.
"It means he's out of commission for the next two months... maybe more."
"What? No!" I heard myself say before I could stop myself. "I'm scheduled for the other recon mission as well as one of the raids."
"Hun, you're not going to be able to use that arm normally for a long while."
"I have another arm!" I argued.
"Babe, now's not the time to be worried about missions now is the time to worry about yourself." I felt Eren's arms wrap around me. I could feel how worried he was.
I was going to keep arguing cause like hell were they benching me for the missions, but Pixis cut me off before I could start back up. "Eren's right. We will discuss what to do later, but as for now you just need to get some rest."
Nothing more was said as they helped Petra off the floor and back to her room Eren helped me up. He wouldn't let go of my hand the whole walk back to our room. He was dead quiet as he stared at the floor.
We got in the room and I had enough of his thoughts."For fuck's sake stop blaming yourself," I rolled my eyes.
"I'm the one who had you guys keep going," he whispered.
"We would have kept going either way, besides we did it. We completed the mission without being spotted."
"Yeah but at what cost? Petra might never be able to move her arms again, you are injured to the point you can barely move your own arm. It wasn't worth it." He plopped down on the bed, his eyes still glued to the floor.
"Are you fucking serious. Of course it was worth it, even Petra will tell you that. Do you know how many lives we will save with this information?"
He just stayed quiet. "I don't care about the damn information right now. The love of my life got hurt because of it," he yelled before going really quiet. "I know it's selfish of me but I would rather us never go on a mission again than see you in that much pain unable to do anything about it."
Eren was really worked up about this. I stopped trying to argue with him and just sat down next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder. "That's the same way I feel every time you over use your power on a mission."
"I'm sorry I never realized," he mumbled.
"Well one thing is for sure," I said and he looked up at me. "We're both idiots who make the other worry."
He just let a little smile slip onto his face, "ah true love," he said sarcastically.
I let out a little laugh and felt as my body screamed at me for sleep. Before I could even suggest we lay down I noticed a figure standing in our doorway.