Nayeli Santiago
These open wounds need some time to heal
You did me wrong but want me to forgive
I'm so tired of going back to the same shit
I'm so tired of going back to the lame shit
I think my heart needs to take some time to heal
I laid on the carpet, my legs resting against the wall as I smoked, the clouds filling my space as Layton Greene's newest album played throughout my room. This song was my life right now. I was tired, emotionally and physically. Tired of men and their ain't shit sorries, it was complete bullshit.
Men cheat but don't wanna own up to it, they'd rather let their woman walk around looking stupid. It's pathetic. Are you a grown man or a little boy? The shit made me laugh, to be completely honest. Kadeem was good at his game, he fooled me.
You didn't think that I would find out 'bout your ex (Yeah)
You didn't think that I would find out y'all had sex (Yeah)
You didn't think that I would go through all your texts (Woah)
I think it's time to lay this shit to rest
'Cause there's a real man out there for me
And he gon' give me all his love and he gon' spoil me
May even show me finer things
May even buy me diamond rings
And don't come running back when I found love (Yeah)
You had your turn, better learn this time's up (Yeah)
I gotta move on, it's messing with my head (Messin' with my head)
"Hey." I looked to the right of me and saw Anahi leaning on the threshold of my room, I waved her in to enter. "You been playing this album for the past two days. How are you really?" She sat beside me, her back against the wall.
I let out a breath, rubbing my cheek. "Hurt to say the least." I looked aimlessly at the ceiling, my thoughts wandering. I felt like I rushed to get into a relationship with Kadeem. He said and did everything right. That's what got to me the most, cause I fell for it. And maybe he did mean what he said, but for him to go back on his word and do the same thing he said he was against is backwards. He despised cheaters, but went out and cheated? Make it make sense! "Huh? Sorry, I just...how can someone say they love you, then hurt you? My heart is heavy, Ani..I loved him, told him everything I've been through." I cried, wiping at my tears.
I was sad and angry at the same time.
"I'm not saying it's going to be something quick to get over, because it's not. Y'all did a lot together." She took hold of my freehand, giving it a squeeze. "The same thing that happened with Cass, imma tell you now. Don't let these niggas tilt your crown, it's their lost in the end. Someone who is deserving of you will come along and treat you as the woman you deserve to be treated as."
Cassius....Cassius...Cassius. He's a real one. I didn't want him to get involved but he found out about what happened through Kadeem, so it's not like I could've stopped him from fighting KC. I appreciated Cass for what he did, that's my best friend. He's been texting me, making sure I'm good to go. Though I did respond to a few of those texts, I had to let him know to not worry bout me and focus on his relationship.
Saniyah's good for him...I didn't want to get in the way of what they have built.
"Thanks sissy." I smiled faintly. She was right, I couldn't sulk because that wouldn't do anything for me. "You tryna hit?" I held the blunt up for her and she shook her head. "You still breastfeeding?"
"Here and there. Kion tryna be grown and stick with the bottle." She pouted, playfully rolling her eyes. "It's okay though, cause that shit be hurting."
"He just wanna be independent." I chuckled lowly, ashing the tip of the blunt before taking another pull. "You know what keeps popping up in my head?" I laughed, scratching just above my eyebrow.
"What?" Anahi asked, raising her brow as I looked over to her with a smirk. "Nope! Please don't even bring that shit back up." She laughed, covering her mouth.
"You really decked Kadeem in the face, even after he had a busted lip." I laughed loud, almost burning a hole into the carpet from the blunt. "Oh shit!" I exclaimed, reaching for the ashtray and setting the blunt down.
"He deserved that shit. I don't play when it comes to family." She shook her head, shrugging. "When you gonna get the rest of your clothes?"
"When Liv comes out, cause I know you have things to do with your family." I smiled. I also didn't want Anahi to come with me because she'd have a lot to say to Kadeem. There was unfinished business, but she didn't need to be around that.
I guess the night Cairo told her what Kadeem had done to me she was ready to catch him once she finished Cairo's hair. He didn't think she was serious, but you'd think by now that Cairo knew Anahi wasn't playing games. She had called me about it and told me the news about Kadeem cheating, and that shit broke me even more because he didn't have the balls to tell me the truth. I told her she could do whatever she wanted cause I had enough going on emotionally.
I was emotionally drained.
"As long as you have someone with you, then that's good." She smiled, moving back a piece of hair. "Did Liv tell you she plans on moving out here?" She chuckled, and I shook my head. That was new news. "Her mama being funny."
"Cause that's how Vivian always been." I smacked my teeth, another auntie who didn't care bout nobody but herself. "Off that, thanks for being here with me sissy. I needed the company and I appreciate you."
"You don't have to thank me. That's our duties as sisters, making sure we're good at all times."
Cairo 'East' Brewster
"Stop throwing shit, Kairi!" My voice stern as I looked at her. Little girl stayed trying me, and that's my fault cause I let her get away with a lot of shit. "Wait till ya mama gets home." I shook my head, causing for her to poke out her bottom lip.
She so fake.
"No dada! I sowwy." She ran over to me, cuddling into my side as I held Kion. "Pweaseeee don't tell her."
"Tell me what?" Anahi entered the living room, placing her purse down onto the couch. "What happened Kai Kai?" Her voice delicate, but a hint of sternness behind it. She walked around the couch sitting down and Kairi moved over to her, cuddling into her.
"Dada yelled at me cause I didn't listen." Kairi looked up at Anahi, and I sucked my teeth.
"Stop throwing your toys and I wouldn't have to yell, Kai. I already told you that." I shook my head, I was really arguing with a three year old. That's crazy.
"See mama, he mean." Kairi stuck her tongue out at me, and it took everything in me not to pop her.
Anahi looked at me and shook her head before putting her attention onto Kairi. "You need to listen to daddy. When he tells you to stop, do it mamas." Anahi rubbed her hand up and down Kairi's back, catching onto her actions. "Little girl, stop playin with your dad." She chuckled lowly, getting up from the couch as Kairi held onto her, sliding down as she hugged onto Anahi's left leg.
"Your sister a whole trip KJ." I looked at him, his baby giggle coming out as if he understood what I was saying. Lifting my head up I looked at Anahi as she walked around the couch and to the kitchen, I frowned. "Hol'up, how you come in the house and not give me them lips?" I called out, standing up and walking into the kitchen with our son.
"Just like I did." She retorted, looking up at me as I stood in front of her. I huffed, mugging her. "I'm playing baby, come here." She puckered her lips and I bent down placing a kiss against her lips. "Aw, is my wittle baby mad." She pulled away from me as she looked at a mugging Kion, kissing his cheeks making his smile and baby laugh come out.
"These kids a trip." I chuckled, causing Kion to slap his little hand against my cheek, Kairi hitting my leg as she still held onto Anahi. "You see how they do me?"
"It's all out of love baby," she chuckled, gripping my chin and playing with my beard. "I missed y'all." She poked out her bottom lip.
"We missed you mama." Kairi's little voice filled the space, causing us both to laugh. "You do my hair later? Dada mess it up."
"You said you liked your hair when I did it." I frowned, sucking my teeth as I looked down at Kairi. "Don't ask me for shit else." I walked out the kitchen, going back into the living room ignoring Anahi asking me to come back.
Settling on the couch after I laid KJ in the baby swing, I laid back comfortably, flipping through channels until I landed on something that looked interesting. Those documentaries about how the earth was developed and that bullshit. I wasn't paying attention to it, I was on my phone scrolling through messages that I needed to reply to.
"You really mad?" I felt Anahi flick the side of my head, causing me to look up at her and back to my phone screen. "So you ignoring me now? Okay Cairo." She let out a low chuckle, walking back towards the kitchen.
It's not that I was mad, little girl hurt my feelings. So now I was salty, but I ain't have to take it out on my baby. Neither one of them if I'm being completely honest.
"What you doin?" I quizzed, as Anahi came back and took Kion out the swing. "Baby, forreal."
"I'm taking them upstairs, since you being funky. Go outside and smoke, cause ain't nobody dealing with your attitude." She looked at me, rolling her eyes as I looked at her with raised brows. "Your tone Cairo, so now Kai thinks you don't want anything to do with her." She shook her head, walking out again and going upstairs.
I scratched the back of my neck, I didn't even mean to come off like that. Everybody knows I love my daughter more than anything, and me being the one to hurt her feelings wasn't something I ever wanted to happen. It's bad enough her real moms neglected her, and me saying what I did wasn't even worth it. I was gon make it right.
I didn't bother to smoke, I went ahead and went upstairs to Kairi's room, only for them not to be in there. Walking towards the noise in our room, I walked in and saw Kairi looking down as Anahi parted her hair in sections. Them both sitting on the bed, in the middle. Kion in his play pin in our room.
Anahi looked up at me, causing me to look down and scratch the back of my neck. Walking further into the room, I laid on the bed, placing my head on Kairi's lap.
"You mad at me little butt?" I questioned, she just looked at me blankly, her eyes puffy. "I'm sorry baby if I hurt your feelings. You know you can always ask me for sumn, and imma get it done for you." I poked out my bottom lip, tickling her side causing her to giggle. "I love you little butt, you forgive me?"
"Yeahhhh!" She cheesed, bending her head down and kissing my forehead. "Love you dada."
"You forgive me mama?" I moved my head from Kai's lap and looked over at Anahi, as she still had an annoyed look on her face. She looked at me, moving one of her hands down and cupping my chin. "I love you." I puckered up my lips.
"I love you too." She bent down, giving me a small kiss.
Anahi Santiago
After finishing Kairi's hair, I let her out the room so she can go downstairs and be with her dad. Kion growing fussy caused me to chuckle and walk over to him, him reaching for me.
"Mommy's here munchkin." I swooped him up, smelling his diaper. I wanted to gag, it was a potent smell. "Why your daddy always leave me with the nasty diapers?" I chuckled, walking down to his room. I wiped him down with a couple baby wipes, throwing out the old diaper and giving him a bath.
Pulling my phone out my pocket, I didn't bother to look at the contact as I answered the phone. "Hello?" I held the phone between my shoulder and ear, drying off Kion and getting him ready for the night.
"Anahi..." I heard her sniffling on the other end, I furrowed my brows. "I made a mistake..." she continued to cry, there was a lot going on. It's like everyone was pulling me from every direction.
I couldn't help everybody, especially when I had to focus on my family as well.
"Sani, what happened?" I bit the corner of my lip, all I heard was her continue to bawl out. "Breathe mamas, one big deep breath and release."
"Cassius is gon hate me. I don't know how to tell him," she blew out a breath, sniffling. "What do you think I should do?"
The fact that I didn't know what happened, was going to be tricky. But I had to give her the best advice I could give.
"I think you should be honest with him," I paused looking down at Kion as he formed bubbles with his mouth, I smiled at him rubbing his cheek with my index finger. "I don't know what's going on between you two, but don't hold whatever it is you need to tell him in for too long. The longer you hold out, the bigger the argument is gon be."
We talked briefly more before ending the call. I needed a vacation, no phones, drama, none of that.
"You good Nini?" Cairo asked as I came down the steps, as he was about to head up. I guess he looked at the look on my face and pulled me into a hug, careful not to hurt Kion as I still held him. "You can't help everybody mama." He sighed, kissing the top of my head. "You hungry?" I nodded my head, and he chuckled.
"Baby, we need to go on a family vacation. Just us four." I licked my lips, walking behind him and to the kitchen as Kairi was sitting at the table already eating. "What you make?"
"We can plan sumn, cause it's definitely needed. Lemme talk with my P.O. and see if I'm good to travel." He looked back at me, and I nodded my head sitting down at the table. "Sumn light, it's spaghetti."
"Thank you." I smiled, Kion laying in my arms as I fed him a bottle. My little boy was going to be four months old, and I couldn't take it. "Where do you think we should go for our vacation?"
"An island, maybe Hawaii or the DR." He lifted his shoulder, digging into his plate. "What you think?" He looked to me, grabbing a napkin to wipe his mouth.
"As long as we don't drink in the DR we gon be good." I chuckled, him following suit and patting his chest as he choked. Kairi looked at him with a scrunched face and that caused me to laugh louder.
"Y'all was just gon laugh and watch me die?" He coughed, sipping on water to clear his system.
"You wasn't gon die babe, relax." I stood up from my seat, and went to place Kion down in the swing as he held onto his bottle. "You okay, though?"
"I'm fine." He chuckled lowly, sending me a wink. "Imma get my dessert later."
"I want dessert tooooo!" Kairi exclaimed, causing me to choke as I chewed on my food. "Mama okay?"
"She's fine little butt," Cairo smirked at me, looking back to our daughter, "I'll give you a popsicle later, aight?"
He wasn't shit, he knew that was gon happen. Shaking my head gently, I smiled at our little family. I couldn't wait for us to grow.
———
What do y'all think is up with Saniyah?
Cairo was hurttttt 😭