December 7th, Manhattan Mall
"This looks super cute! They have it in our size so we could twin Kylie!"
"It is cute! Okay, let's get it!"
"Don't get too carried away girls! We still have to be able to afford lunch afterward."
"Yes, Mr.Ashcroft."
"It looks awesome! Jeans too. We can purchase like, 3 whole outfits." I smiled and looked at the jeans. Mom told me my sizes in advance and she's been teaching me how to shop better lately. She says when I become a teenager I'll start to want to dress a certain way, so it's good that I learn about clothes now. Personally, I think that I'll dress the same. But, Mom has never been wrong about her predictions.
"Let's go check out Dad!"
***********
The Dance Studio
Today's a competition week. I don't do competition every week because Mom wants me to focus on my studies as much as possible! When I do competition though, it's very interesting, to say the least.
"Okay Bella, I'm giving you a duet with Parker titled 'Winters Eve.' A duet? With a boy? Parker's cool, we're friends and stuff like that. This is really weird though. So we were learning the dance and it was a bit weird for me. This is my first duet with a boy, and I'm not used to boys being so close to me and having to interact with me so much in a piece.
"Why are you guys being so awkward with one another? You guys are friends right?"
"Yes."
"Alright, well that's it for today guys. I want you guys to work on getting familiar with one another, it's going to be hard to fully execute the dance if you're withholding yourself due to being uncomfortable."
"Yes, Miss Aimee. Thank you." We left and we chugged some water together.
"So how do you feel about the dance?" Parker asked.
"It's really cute and stuff, but I'm not used to dancing with a boy. Even though we're friends."
"Me too. This is my first duet with a girl. I thought that since we were friends it'd be easy but it kinda isn't."
"Yeah. Do you still wanna hang out after competition?"
"Totally. You should come over to my house so we could practice some more outside of dance. I have to go now though."
"Cool. Bye Parker!"
"Bye." I went to go change and go outside to meet with my uncle. He was there, with Leia in the back and waiting for me to come in.
"Hey, sweet pea. How was dance?"
"It was great."
"What are you doing?"
"A duet."
"With Kylie or Pais?"
"No, with Parker. My friend remember?"
"That must be so interesting isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Uncle Sonny, we need to go home!"
"Why are you in such a rush?"
"I have to watch Mickey Mouse and I will be super sad if I don't see it."
"We're almost at your house pumpkin pie."
"Pumpkin pie tastes like doody!" My sister loves to just say the most random things at the weirdest times. Like that for example.
"Leia!"
*************
Leia's Room (Olivia's Perspective)
"Bella, come here." She came and sat next to Leia's bed.
"Is it true that you have a duet with Parker?"
"Pretty much."
"That sounds amazing sweetheart. He's a cutie isn't he?"
"I dunno about that. But he's a really nice friend. He invited me to his house so we could practice the piece together."
"That's kind of him. Would you like to?"
"I guess."
"Why are you acting so shy sweet pea?"
"Well, the dance makes me feel a bit uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable how?"
"Uncomfortable in the way that I feel like he's too close for comfort a bit. I know it isn't his fault or anything Mom. That's just how duets are sometimes. I'm just not used to being that close to a boy."
"Ohh Yeah, this is your first duet with a male."
"Yep. Mom, how do I get more comfortable with boys?"
"For your duet?"
"Yeah."
"Well, you can ask your teacher if she could modify it a bit. What part is making you uncomfortable?"
"When he like puts his hand around me like that. Because we're supposed to be a couple or something.. I don't know it's really weird." She said with a laugh. I was actually quite happy that my daughter wasn't growing up too fast. She still has a very pure mind, or more so I'd like to believe that her mind is still somewhat pure. It's just that I get so worried because I know that abused kids can act out when they get older, in various ways.
"Does it trigger you, honey?"
"Well, no. I don't really get the flashbacks anymore." She smiled, which was weird considering the topic.
"But Mom, I guess I'll get over it."
"You guess?"
"Yeah. Maybe I'm just overthinking." She left the room and I was still cuddling a sleeping Leia. She had a nightmare again and I was just trying to make sure she slept for more than ten minutes this time around. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and left the room slowly and quietly. Bella was watching a movie in the living room and I sat next to her.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine Mom. I just think I was overreacting."
"I don't think you were. There's nothing wrong with feeling a certain way about your dance."
"But that's the problem."
"What is?"
"It's just a dance so I shouldn't get worked up over it."
"Doesn't mean you push your feelings to the side over a dance either cupcake."
"You're right." She said quietly.
"It's just sometimes, I like to ignore my assault. It gets in the ya of my life every once in a while and I want it to not be a part of my life anymore."
"It isn't that simple babe."
"I know Mom. I wish I could talk to Ms.Caron. But she's pregnant and she's gonna move. I miss her already." I gave my daughter a short hug and she looked at the screen.
"We're going to find another therapist that just right for you. I promise."
"I know. But that's work and you've been spending money on my therapy."
"That isn't a problem for me sweetheart. I'll pay for your treatment. No matter what."
************
Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center (Bella's Perspective)
I was really nervous. What was going to happen to me? Who would I talk to? Would they be nice?
"Can we go home? I don't want to do this right before the competition. It's gonna stress me out."
"Bella, you have to get another therapist at some point sweetheart."
"Please, can we go home?"
"Bella, I'm doing this for you. Come on, you'll be okay. I'll stay right here."
"Hello, I'm Dr.Plainfield but you can just call me Gen."
"Nice to meet you Dr. this is my daughter."
"My name is Bella. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too sweetheart. You seem like a very sweet girl. How about we all step into my office." I really, really didn't want to do this. Mom wouldn't let me go home though and there's no turning back once mom has her mind set. I sat down on the comfy couch and we all were really quiet for a moment. It was a bit weird.
"Bella, how about we do an ice breaker? I know it must be very difficult to warm up to someone new. Is there any games you'd like to play?"
"Can we play chutes and ladders? It's one of my favorites."
"Of course." My Mom eventually left the room and I felt a bit at ease.
"What is your favorite color?"
"I have two but right now it's light blue."
"That's actually my favorite color as well. Do you have any pets?"
"A dog named Ryan. I think we're getting a second dog for Christmas though. I'm not sure."
"That must be exciting."
"Kind of."
"Do you have any hobbies?"
"Dance and gymnastics. I'm a level 7 gymnast. But I don't feel too great."
"Why?"
"Because I expected to be doing a lot better. I was a level six gymnast at 8. I haven't been doing good at all."
"Do you want to talk about these feelings?"
"No thank you." I don't want to do this again!
****************
Charlotte, North Carolina
"Coming up next, contestant number 67 with 'Winters Eve." It was really nerve-racking going back onto the stage after not doing a competition for a couple of months. But I had to do it. To prove to Mom that I'm okay, because I know she's worried about me. The clapping died down and we started to dance. Things were going really well. Parker lifted me up and I tried not to laugh because it reminded me of when we practiced at his house. We were really goofing off. Before I knew it, I was offstage and my friends were giving me hugs.
"That was so cute! I totally ship your and Parker!" Little do they know I actually like someone else...
"Right they would be a great couple!" I giggled and I went to go give him a hug.
"You did amazing."
"No, you did." He handed me some roses and I smiled.
"Thank you. I love white roses. Who told you that?" My Mom was in the hallway and she smiled.
"Mom!"
"I couldn't help it. He asked by the way."
"Sorry, Bella."
"No, it's okay. It was really nice of you to do this for me. Thank you so much."
Dear Diary,
We went on to win first place overall and I got more flowers. I still feel pretty gushy like a gusher after all of that though. No boy that I know has ever bought me white roses before! That first-place win also made it feel even more dreamy. This is so weird! I'll write later. Mom is staring at me like I'm a maniac!
"We're an hour away."
"Hour away from home!" Leia yelled.
"We should go out and celebrate the win. And Leia's second place." Noah added
"Mommy I did well?"
"Yes, you did amazing sweetheart and Bella did too. I'm so proud."
"And you'll be proud of me next when we win our football game."
"You guys have been on a winning streak. I'm excited to see what's next for your team." I smiled and looked back down at my diary. I couldn't wait to be home and write more in ya.