Gabby lifted up a blanket and pinned it on 2 rocks so it covered Jay from his waist down, we couldn't see anything. I didn't even want to question it. I held Jay's hand and just watched his face. Gabby put morphine into his drip and he was so out of it there was no way we could have a proper conversation.
"Erin I love you.."
"I love you too." I smiled.
**
My main concern was Erin. She was pale and pasty, Ethan was focused on Jay throughout the surgery. Erin was clearly worried. She had a hold of his hand and she was smiling at him but through tearful eyes.
"Erin do you need a drink or the oxygen mask back?" I smiled.
"No I'm fine thank you.." She sighed smiling at me quickly before her attention went back to Jay. "Gabby? Will he be okay?"
"Yeah he'll be fine. Do you know what's going on or not?"
"I'm not sure. I'm really not sure."
"Okay Erin listen to me. You are in a state of shock, you don't know what's going on but there's nothing for you to worry about okay? Everything will be explained in the hopsital so don't worry. You are fine and Jay is fine." I smiled. She just looked at me before nodded and looking down to Jay.
**
Gabby helped to get Jay on this stretcher under several blankets. I remember being helped up and having to go out following Jay. I was allowed to hold his hand and he was completely strapped onto it. His eyes we were rolling but he was smiling up at me. When we finally made it out the broad daylight hit me and made me sick. I managed to stay with Jay until they loaded him onto the ambulance. They told me I could meet him there so I wandered around trying to find Hank or Kim or anyone but my eyes were blurry and stinging.
"Oh my god Erin. It's been 3 days. Let's get you into this ambulance.." Kim's voice sighed as she took my hand and guided me up some steps and onto a bed.
**
She was dirty and bloody. Her clothes ripped and covered in dust. She had tear stains and make up stains down her face. She sighed as I sat her down. I shut the back of the ambulance doors and she cried. She was making this whimpering noise with the pain she was in. She had no really bad injuries but it was bad enough it had put her body into shock. I held her hand and she just closed her eyes.
"Can I see Jay as soon as we get there?"
"I mean do you need to be checked over?"
"No. I just need a shower.." She sighed.
**
I got to the hospital, went to the bathroom and washed my eyes so I could see before going out to track down Jay. When I got in there he wasn't in the room.
"He's gone for surgery just to make sure everything is okay.." Will smiled.
"When will he back in here?" I smiled.
"About 30 minutes? You are more than welcome to sit in here until he is back.." He smiled.
"Yeah I will thank you." I smiled as I sat down into the armchair. There was a space where his bed would go. The other 3 beds on the ward were full but I chose to ignore them. 1 of them kept staring at me but I had enough to think about.
"Erin I want you to have a ultrasound scan at some point please?"
"Whatever fine.."
**
My eyes were twitching and it actually made me feel sick. Then a gentle grip on my shoulder startled me.
"Hey you.." Erin's dirty tearful face smiled.
"Are..you okay?" I coughed grabbing my throat as it was so sore.
"I'm going to sit you up and give you some water." She smiled sitting the bed up. She bought a glass of water up to my mouth and I took a small sip from the straw. When she put it down and sat on the edge of the bed I reached out for her hand.
"What did they do to me?"
"That's what I'm here to explain." Ethan smiled coming in and standing at the end of the bed. Erin grabbed my hand and held it tightly when I got some pain in my thigh on my left leg.
"Oh my god. The pain in my leg. It's horrific. What's causing that?"
"Can you give him 2mg of morphine please? Just a slow drip into his fluids for his leg please?" He nodded to April.
"So what's going on?" I sighed as Erin wiped a tear away from my eye.
"Jay when you were crushed it was a case of leaving you there or getting you out. To save your life we had to take away something. So we've attempted your leg from above the knee."
"Oh my god.." I got out as I caught my breath. Erin grabbed both my hands and rubbed them gently. I bit my lip as I held my breath to stop myself from crying.
"You will be able to walk again and live as normal but you will need intense physio to begin with. When you do finally go home you will be allowed to go home in a wheelchair and you will have a prosethic leg if you wish." He smiled. "For now I'll leave you do it so you can take time to relax and be with your wife." He smiled before leaving.
**
He even pushed himself away from me. He let go of my hands and just stared into the distance.
"Erin do me a favour? Lift off the blanket and show me my leg." He sighed.
"Jay the surgery was only done 6 hours ago, it's going to be swollen, puffy and red. It'll better in a few days so can't you wait."
"No I want to see it now." He sighed looking at me.
"Fine." I lifted the blanket off his leg and it was bandanged up around where the top of his knee cap would be and his thigh was red, puffy and scarring. He just looked at it and I put the blanket back on over it for him because I knew he was getting upset.
"I'm sorry.." He just looked down and closed his eyes.
"Don't do this. Try and get some sleep while you are on the morphine still." I smiled sitting in the armchair as he held my hand again. It was strange seeing him this weak and vulnerable, I mean he'd been through a lot. He's had physio like 5 times already but I guess this time was when it got really serious because he's actually had his leg amputated. I knew this was going to be hard on him because I feel like he's going be emotionally and mentally exhausted. He's going to be learning to walk again, helping me with 2 children and trying to look after me during the pregnancy. He's just the type of person to not give up even through the hard times. Bt I think this time he needed to shut up, rest and let me take the control of the situation so I can look after him. He knew that and now he just needed to learn that and understand me. He did eventually fall asleep which gave me chance to sit and think over everything. I sat there as tears fell from my eyes. I held my little bump and thought of pip.
"Daddy will still be able to help you. He'll be walking with you as you get older. Don't you worry about anything.." I smiled just looking down.
"He will be walking before you are born." Jay's voice smiled as her held my hand.
"You need to take it easy."
"Yeah I will but we will have a baby to look after so I'll be walking." He smiled.
"You are a stubborn git." I laughed. "Is it going to get worse as you get older?"
"It might get worse. Who knows? At least if I become more stubborn I'll finally match you."
"No way in hell will you ever be as stubborn as me you have nothing to worry about darlin." I smiled. He managed a small laugh before I looked down and he looked away. "I'd rather your recovery takes a while longer and you come out of it completely fine than you rush and end up worse"
"Erin leave it. I'm sorting myself out." He sighed.
**
Kim met me at the waiting room door and she could clearly see how panicky I was.
"Hank I need you to listen to me quickly."
"What's happened? What was the trauma surgeon for?"
"It was Jay. To save his life they had to amputate his leg from just above the knee. He is okay, Erin is okay. They are just looking over the ultrasound and bloods she had and then everything will be good but both of them are okay for now. Erin just needs a shower and a change of clothes but I think she said she's going home tonight for the children anyway." She smiled. I nodded and went in with her. Jay was fast asleep on the bed and Erin had her head on the bed and was holding his hand but was also asleep. I just stood by the door and watched. As I went to leave Jay coughed and I turned.
"You can stay Dad.." He whispered.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah of course. It'll be good. Erin needs you." He sighed. I went and sat down on the armchair the other side and he managed to sit up slightly.
"How are you feeling?"
"I mean quite good but of course it is a struggle. I'm in pain and I feel bad because I can't do anything to help Erin."
"Don't you worry about that. I'm going to take her home tonight and make sure she gets settled in with the kids and then I'll bring her back at some point." I smiled.
"Thank you Dad." He smiled shaking my hand.
**
When I woke up I stretched and Jay was smiling at me. He was taking a sip out of the glass himself even though his hands were shaking.
"I'm proud of you." I smiled.
"You should get going. The kids will be home soon, Dads waiting in reception. Go home, get a shower and tell the kids I'll see them soon and I love them." He smiled at me.
"Well okay I'll see you later then. Love you loads.. goodnight."
"Night my lovely." He smiled as I got up and went out to reception, Hank was sat and as soon as he saw me he stood up. I went over and gave him a quick hug.
"How are you holding up?" He smiled.
"I'm good. Ready to go home and be with my beauties." I laughed as we headed out to the car.
**
When I got home Kim was sat on the sofa with both the children already out playing in the garden on the decking. I gave her a little hug and spoke to her for a while before they both let me get on with some stuff.
"Kids." I shouted from the kitchen as they both come running in.
"How is Dad?" Florence sighed.
"Yeah he'll be okay. He said he loves you both very much and he'll be home soon." I smiled. "Now what do you guys want for dinner?"
"Chicken?"
"Okay. I've got a film set up so why don't you guys go into the living room and start watching the film while I begin dinner." I smiled. They both went into the living room and got settled on the sofa watching the film. I could hear them laughing away so I began cooking dinner. I was making Chinese chicken curry and noodles because it was easy and all 3 of us knew we liked it. I chopped all the veg and food and got cooking when Florence come into the kitchen and started to help me.
"Are you okay?" I smiled.
"Yeah I'm good. Glad you are home. Are you alright though mum?"
"Yeah I'm okay, I'm tired but I've got to look after you 3 and dad." I smiled.
"Is baby okay?"
"Pip is good yeah. Dad should be home in a few weeks."
"Kim said he might be a few months.."
"It depends on his recovery. Do you know what's happened to him?"
"Yeah mum. Kim told about his leg and the fact he's going to have a prosthetic."
"Yeah so he'll be okay. But it's going to take a while for him to learn to walk again because he has to have physio." I smiled as she gave me a hug.
"Yeah that's fine. I just want you to know I'm here to help you. I have the next 4 weeks off because of half term like Harvey but also after that I only have to go in some of the times because of exams so I can help you." She smiled kissing my cheek.
"Thank you Flo. I'm just gonna finish up this then I'll be out so we can eat dinner." I smiled as she went into the living room with Harvey again. It was only about 20 minutes before we were all sat on the sofa together eating dinner watching finding Nemo.
**
Florence's perspective.
I helped mum out by doing the washing up while she put Harvey to bed. I cleaned up the entire kitchen and as I went into the living room she was just coming down the stairs.
"Are you going to bed now sweetheart?" She smiled.
"Nope. I'm sitting down here with you for a while to watch TV and talk about the plans we are making for tomorrow." I laughed as she sat on the sofa with me.
"What are we doing tomorrow then?"
"We are going out the 3 of us. You are going to dress up a little bit, treat yourself. I'm going to do your hair and makeup, we are going into town to go shopping and we are taking Harvey and then we are going to get lunch and after that we can go and see Dad so he can see your new look."
"Flo I appreciate it but I'm really not feeling up for that. I'm tired and fed up."
"I'm not taking no for an answer mum." I laughed as she rolled her eyes and gave me a hug.
"Fine but not to much makeup please.." She sighed kissing my cheek.
"Of course not." I smiled holding her hand as she pulled a blanket over me.
**
Harvey was having a sleep in when I got up and went into mums room. She was sat on her bed in a red dressing gown, hair wet in a towel so I went and sat with her.
"Morning." She yawned.
"Morning. Ready for the make over?" I smiled as she went and sat on her dressing table. I got my makeup ready and sat opposite her on the little stool. I smiled as I began doing her makeup. She shut her eyes and she was fiddling with her wedding ring. "Have you heard from Dad today?"
"Nope. But I'm sure she's fine, he's probably just asleep still." She sighed.
"Of course he's fine mum." I smiled as I applied some nice pale pink cream eyeshadow before some black mascara.
"What are you doing with my hair Flo?" She smiled.
"Well it's long and where you had it died lighter it's very blonde." I smiled taking her hair down and seeing how it was now like halfway down her back. It was also very blonde like almost white at the ends. It looked lovely. "I'm going to dry it naturally and let the curls go natural." I laughed as I began blow drying her hair.
**
When I saw myself in the mirror I was shocked actually. It surprised me with how a little makeup and natural hair made me look different. Like it was strange because I did really like this look. Florence had even picked out a grey bodycon dress and a black big floppy hat to wear as well. I wore white sneakers with it and I felt good about myself. Florence was sat downstairs in jeans and a cropped jumper with Harvey in his buggy wearing black dungarees over a white shirt. I smiled at her and gave her a hug because I was so grateful for her.
"You look lovely mum." She smiled.
"Thank you. It's all because of you though." I laughed kissing her head. I locked up the house before we began walking down towards town. Florence pushed the buggy for me and the only way for me to walk comfortably was to hold Pip because bump was quite heavy so I kept my hand on top of bump and had the same bloody waddle again.