"Erin are you still here?" He called tearfully reaching out everywhere.
"Jay I'm here. Calm down. I'm right here." I sighed I got up out of bed and went over holding his hand. The nurse come in and smiled at me as she went round treating a different person. Gregg was laying there watching us.
"Go back to sleep Jay." I sighed stroking his hair gently.
"Sorry...did I wake you up? What time is it?"
"Half past 4. I was awake anyway so it doesn't matter." I stood up and went over by the window. I just sat on the window ledge and watched the snow falling gently.
"Jay! It's snowing." I smiled with a gentle laugh.
"Is it seriously?"
"Yep." I smiled. It took 45 minutes before Jay finally fell asleep again, he couldn't see anything still. He was really swollen and still in a lot of pain. Gregg currently had, had 4 skin graphs on his leg but he was doing better. Apparently Jay had will need physiotherapy. Gregg smiled at me and moved from the bed to the armchair.
"Are you okay?" He smiled.
"Yeah I'm getting there." I nodded, I smiled at the nurse as she went over to check up on Jay.
"You sure? I don't think it's right for you to be trying to be here for 12+ hours a day and then after that going off to work and trying to focus on work. You are going to injury yourself or put someone else in danger if your not careful." He smiled.
"Gregg I'm doing good. Work is fine. I've been okay. We've been here for about 4 weeks so far and I've been good. I get to stay here at Jay's side every night as well so it seems good. I mean I get to spend time with him." I smiled.
"Erin you are allowed to go home you know? Your not his babysitter?"
"No I'm not his babysitter I'm his girlfriend." I smiled again. He just shrugged and nodded in agreement. Once the nurse had finished I headed back over to Jay and held his hand again. Gregg smiled and sat back on his bed. I kissed Jay's forehead gently as the nurse bought over a bowl of warm water. I removed his eye pads gently and began to clean his eyes. He flinched a lot.
"It's okay. Is it that painful?"
"It really hurts Erin."
"Okay. Give me 5 minutes and you'll be okay again. It won't hurt much more after this." I smiled again. I don't know why I was smiling or anything anymore considering he couldn't see me. I finished cleaning all the gunk off his eyes with the little cloth. I pushed the bed up so he could sit up more.
"Do you trust me?" I smiled.
"Of course I do why?"
"Because will you let me take your hands and we can try and walk?" I smiled.
"I can't feel my legs so I don't think I'll be able too."
"Can we try? Like I'll take you to the window and open it and you can feel the snow?"
"Okay sure..." He smiled. He reached out and I put the bed side holders down and took both his legs off the bed and put them down on the floor. Then after taking his hands I put all his weight on me. He basically leant on me and held my hands. We stood up and he began slowly moving his feet. It took us 25 minutes before we finally got to the window - When we finally did we sat on the window ledge and I opened it, sticking his hand out the window so some snow landed on his hand. As soon as he began to feel it a big smile come on his face.
"It's snowing!" I laughed.
"I can feel it." He smiled. He laughed and a few tears fell from his cheeks. He squeezed my hand.
"Let me know when you want to go back to bed?"
"Can you hug me?"
"Sure." I smiled.
"Like you used to do when we had a bad day and literally you'd come home from work and I would hug you on the sofa."
"Oh yeah okay." I smiled. I sat with my back against the wall of the window and Jay sat in between my legs and his head rested against my chest. I wrapped my arms around his chest and he held my hands. I pressed my lips against his head resting above his fluffy brown hair. I just sat like that, knowing the tears were going to fall any moment if I continued thinking about all the negatives. I couldn't help it - all I could think about was things like he wouldn't be able to see me on our wedding day or he might not be able to see our first child and all this stupid stuff that probably wouldn't even happen. I wasn't even sure how long we'd be together because we were both really struggling with all of this.
* * *
Week 6. (First week of Physiotherapy.)
"From what we've been told again is Jay starts physiotherapy this week. Today I think. From what pictures we've seen they have made a thing of sitting on the window ledge together in each other's arms enjoying a nice hug together. So by the looks of it although he can't see her he knows Erin is always there for him. They are happy together and they are trying to become stronger and get better together." He smiled. He didn't even notice me standing here.
"Yes Jay is doing so much better. We start physio today. I'm heading there now." I laughed walking forwards and into the office. I took it in turns to hug them all before heading out to the hospital and being taken straight to the therapy unit. I stood at the door for a few second and watched him take a small walk using the bars and trying so hard. I went in and smiled at the therapist.
"Erin?" He laughed continuing to look straight ahead at the wall and trying to walk.
"That's me." I smiled.
"Oh hey. How are you?"
"I'm good. How are you?" I smiled throwing my bag and coat down on the chair and standing leaning against the bar watching me.
*
"Just give me a moment." I smiled. I was assisted to sit in a chair and I caught my breathe. Burying my head in my hands. I rubbed my face including my eyes I think I was tired and agitated about it all. Trying to walk was so hard. I looked down and then nearly had a heart attack when I could see the floor. I felt so strange being able to see everything. I managed to stand back up and he went to help me but I carried on without the help. I smiled at Erin and she began crying instantly.
"Don't cry." I smiled.
"You can see me..."
"I can and you haven't changed in the whole however many months since I last saw you." I laughed.
"Oh my god. I can't believe you can see me." She smiled. She wiped the tears away and smiled at me. I managed to finally edge my way along the bars until I reached her and I shakily pulled her into a hug.
*
(Week 2 of Physio.)
"Jay don't be a arrogant asshole and just get on with it." I sighed.
"Oh Erin for god sake I forgot clearly you know the pain I am going through. You know how much it hurts don't you? For god sakes." He shouted.
"Don't shout at me Jay. We're in hospital." I sighed again. I went over to the window and Gregg was sat on the edge of his bed watching us both. I smiled at him but he just shrugged and looked away from me.
"You are so annoying I swear down Erin." He sighed.
"Oh whatever." I laughed. I just shrugged and began getting my stuff together. Putting my coat on and getting ready to leave.
"Erin don't go."
"I've got work."
"Are you coming back after work?"
"No. I'm working late tonight." He just nodded as I smiled gently and walked off out of the hospital on my way to work. I got just down the road and I realised my head was a mess. Everything was just a mess. I heard the screeching of the tyres then 'smack'.
*
"20 year old female. Hit at high speed by oncoming vehicle. She didn't see it but now she's unresponsive. Let's get bloods, fluids, adrenaline and IV line quick as you can please."
"How did she get hit? Also where is this blood coming from?"
"I think there's a head injury."
"Where?"
"On the back of the head. I think she's clipped the curb as she's gone down. We'll give her a check over once we get on a ward. I also think there's some internal bleeding somewhere."
"Okay let's get her in a ward?"
"There isn't free beds on any wards."
*
I heard a lot of commotion from outside when the ICU doors came crashing open and a blood stained bed come in and placed in the bed next to me. 3 doctors including Will around her, 3 doctors, 2 nurses and both paramedics.
"What are we working with again?"
"Unresponsive 20 year old female, hit by a oncoming car." Will sighed and drew the curtains around her. I really hoped she was okay, it looked really bad. I heard all these noises coming from next door. Like things being dropped, crashing commotion. But then again what did you expect when there was 7 people around her. I heard this horrible noise almost like something popping then before you knew it blood came out of no where. Blood on the floor, blood on the curtain. Blood on Will who stepped backwards and just looked down at the blood all over him. He coughed and got back in there dealing with the patient.
"Let's get more adrenaline, stabilise her and then take her up to CT." I just closed my eyes and put some headphones on so I didn't have to listen to everything going on.
"I'm going to go and sit in the gardens for a little while." I smiled to Gregg. I managed to get up and get both crutches on and took a slow peaceful walk down to the gardens. On the way down to the gardens. I saw the police car parked outside then I noticed Hank and everyone stood there so I edged my way over to them.
"Oh my god. Hello." Adam smiled.
"Hey guys." I smiled sitting on the brick wall next to them all. "What happened here then? Looks' nasty." I smiled after seeing the scene shut off just down the road, there was blood on the pavement and the road and the car was parked up on the curb, a dent in the front of it.
"Girl didn't see the car, walked out and was hit."
"Oh my god. Yeah I'm pretty sure she's in the room next to me in ICU." Hank had this terrified, scared broken look on his face like he'd just seen a ghost. He went over to the car and knelt down in front of it. Lifting out a brown beanie with a beige bobble on top of it, dripping with blood.
"That's Erin's." Myself and Hank said in perfect timing. "Shit.." I sighed standing up and ignoring the utter pain I was and hopping back into ICU. Will was just going to get into the lift with the girl when I stepped in the way of the closing door.
"Erin..." I cried out, Hank at my side, she was laying on the bed, bloodied cuts and scars on her face and headed, a neck collar on, a support brace holding her entire body, almost like it was holding her together. Hank pulled me away and just let Will take her to wherever she needed to go.
"Erin I love you.." I cried out falling to the floor and feeling my legs pop in pain.