****a year later****
Sitting in the seats waiting with all the other Dauntless at the choosing ceremony was nerve wrecking even more so than it was with Ean.
My leg shakes jittery and Eric puts his hand on my knee. Emery's blond hair is cut short, he's tall and skinny and his blue eyes popping against his pale skin. The black Dauntless clothes he's wearing has never suited him and probably never will, he belongs in one type of clothing and after today it's all I'll ever see him in for the rest of my life.
"Emery Coulter," they call his name.
Emery stands up and I squeeze his hand as he lets go and walks down the steps and toward the five bowls. He cuts his hand eloquently and stands there for a tad longer than Ean did. Ean went straight to Dauntless dripping his blood.
Emery seems to stare back and forth between Dauntless and Erudite. I look at Eric, but Eric's eyes are glued on Emery.
"Erudite," I hear Marcus Eaton's voice say.
I quickly wipe away a tear as I clap for my son. Eric does the same. I watch as he sits with the sea of blue. His faction.
Eric and I leave early to prep for the new imitates.
It feels weird coming back to Dauntless without a child, it's like a missing hole in my heart and I wonder if Eric feels it too.
I wait anxiously down below near the net.
"Someone's gotta jump first, who's it going to be?" I hear Eric's voice echoes from above.
An Erudite born jumps first to my surprise.
"Welcome to Dauntless, what's your name?"
"Liam," he smiles at me.
"Nice to meet you," I help him out of the net and he walks over to Lauren. Liam has dark brown hair and Hazel eyes, he's tall and lanky but has a good sense of muscles on him. Brave so it seems too.
By the time they all jump I count all the transfers. 7 Erudite, 3 Candor, 1 Amity, 1 Abnegation. I've never had an Abnegation before.
All day at training I feel distracted, my initiates I think can tell too. I don't work with them much, I tell them what to do and then I sit alone to reflect on what Emery is going right now.
"That's it for today. Head back to the dormitory and I'll see you all at six in the morning. No one better be late," I growl.
Heading home there was a certain eeriness to the hallways, I knew that when I open the door to the apartment it'll be different. So when I finally turn the doorknob to the apartment my remaining children are all sitting on the couch. Phoenix, Eli, Eloise and Eero.
"So?" Eli speaks up. "Did he go to Erudite?"
Phoenix and the twins are fourteen, they turn fifteen late this year. Their age difference with Emery was barely a year, eleven months to be exact. Next year will be their initiation ceremony--all three of them. They turn sixteen next year but because of their birthdays during the ceremony they won't be sixteen yet.
"Yeah, he went to Erudite." I say to the children.
They have the same look of emptiness on their faces.
"He'll be happy there," Eloise speaks up. "We always knew this was going to happen," she says to her sad looking brothers. "We should be happy for him."
Eero nods his head and perks up. "As long as he's happy."
"As long as he's happy," Phoenix repeats.
"Mom, can I talk to you?" Eli asks nervously.
"Sure." I smile weakly at him.
His three siblings knew it as a cue to leave us alone. They all walked back to their rooms.
"What's wrong?"
"Are you sad that Emery is gone?"
Eli was tall, not as tall as Ean and Phoenix but taller than Emery was. He's not skinny like Emery either, Eli has muscles only because of all the working out he does with Phoenix--I know he doesn't like working out but he likes spending time with his brother. Eli's hair is long and he usually keeps most of it tied back, his eyes are a deep blue and his voice getting deep and rough. He wasn't my baby boy anymore, but a teenager, a soon to be man.
"Of course I'm sad that Em's gone. But I'm happy he's gone to where he belongs. Can't you picture it? He's showing all of Erudite his blueprints and getting praised. Being around smart people just like him?"
Eli nods his head. "Do you think his test results said Erudite?"
"Probably."
"What if they didn't? What if they said Dauntless but he wanted to go to Erudite?"
"Then you go where you want to go. My test result wasn't Dauntless." I admit.
"It's wasn't?"
"No, it was Candor."
Eli nods his head and then gets up to head back to his room. Exhausted I rest my head against the couch until I hear Eric come home.
"Welcome to the Coulter house, where the population of our army is slowly and steadily decreasing," I frown.
"He's where he belongs now. We knew this day was coming." Eric frowns.
"I know, but I didn't think this day would come so fast, and Ean has his own place." Speaking of him, Ean enters the apartment in his Dauntless black clothes, it's been a year since he's accepted the position of Eric's number 2. "Hey, how was work? Dinner will be ready soon, are you staying?"
"No. I'm busy tonight, I'm moving into my new place today." Ean stands all and proud.
"New place? I thought you liked your apartment?"
"I do, but Serena isn't there...uh, mom you might want to sit down for his." He gently sets his hands on my shoulders. "Serena and I are moving in together."
"Moving in together? But-But you guys have only been dating for a year," any excuse.
"But I love her, mom." Ean places his hands on his hips. "I don't think you're in any position to judge here."
I frown. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"
"More than sure. We spend enough time with each other as it is, we practically live together already when you're not visiting." Ean sighs.
I twist the material of my shirt nervously. "As long as you're happy," I give him a weak smile. I look over at Eric.
"This is big news, Ean. I'm guessing things are getting pretty serious." Eric says looking over at me. "Congratulations son, your mother and I are happy for you."
I nod my head and stand up to hug Ean. "Do you need any help moving in?"
"I mean, if it's not too much to ask, sure, but you have to promise to be on your best behavior." Ean glares at me.
"I promise," I clap my hands together and look at Eric. "Let me just take the food out of the oven, do you want your siblings to come--or is that too much?"
"No, the more hands the better. Plus with Em gone, it'll probably be nice for all of us to be together." Ean frowns slightly.
I smile and put my hand on Ean's. "I'll go get them."
Eric smiles and pats his son's back.
I gather all of the children and we head to Ean's old apartment where Serena is boxing up some of his things. Luckily the apartments from which we're moving his stuff to isn't that far.
"Grab a box," Ean says to his siblings who scurry around the apartment. The children begin to have a competition to see who can carry the heaviest box. I roll my eyes. Eero finds the tiniest boxes that Serena hands him.
"Excited?" I stand next to Serena and cross my arms.
"Yeah." Serena smiles and looks around at all the boxes. "Thank you for coming to help, with all the kids here this move should be done in no time."
I nod my head and grab a box. I look over at Serena who picks one up and Ean goes to her side and takes it from her. "That one's too heavy. I'll take it."
I give Eric a strange look.
"Son, I've seen Serena lift up heavier boxes at work. She can handle it." Eric says smiling.
"Yeah, Ean, it's fine-" Serena begins, but he cuts her off.
"No." Ean gives Serena a warning look and she nods.
I give Eric another concerning look. "Ean...She's fine."
"I'm her man. I got it. Everyone stop looking at me like that!" Ean snaps.
I begin to worry that my son has turned into what Eric use to be. I couldn't understand why he was acting so possessive of her. She's a strong woman, she can carry what she pleases.
"What the hell is that about?" I whisper to Eric.
Eric shrugs. "I'll say something."
I follow Eric as he approaches Ean.
"Son, I think you should ease up on Serena. She can handle carrying a box. She's a strong woman." Eric tries to put it as gently as possible.
"This is none of your business, dad. What I say goes, now, if you'll excuse me--"
"Ean." Eric stops him. "I don't need to see you making mistakes I did with how you treat the woman in your life. Especially not Serena who is my friend and a good person, she deserves more than that."
"I'm not like you dad. Trust me, I'm doing this for her own good."
"Son, that's exactly what I use to think. It's twisted. She can handle her own. I don't see how this is for Serena's benefit at all other than it showing you power over her."
"Dad, stay out of this you have no clue."
"Then tell me so I do have a clue." Eric frowns.
"No, dad, it's none of your business."
"Now you're just saying this because you have no good excuse." Eric narrows his eyes. "Possessiveness is not okay."
"I'm not like you! Just leave it alone!"
"Serena, here, take this box. Show him." Eric hands a heavy box to Serena in spite of Ean.
Ean quickly takes the box from Eric. "This is my apartment, I said she's not lifting anything heavy. What I say goes!"
"Ean, please, don't do this." Serena says quietly. "Just tell him." She sighs.
"What the hell is going on here?" Eric now looks to me.
"Are you sure?" He touches Serena's shoulder gently.
"Yes. It's better than you two getting in a fight. This is suppose to be a good day. It's bad enough Em left." Serena frowns slightly.
Ean nods his head. "Mom, you might want to sit again for this."
"Oh god, please don't tell you two are getting married." I frown.
Serena laughs nervously.
"We're pregnant." Ean blurts out.
"Both of you?" Phoenix jokes.
"No, stupid." Eloise shoves him.
"I was joking, stupid." Phoenix shoves her back.
"Elena, are you okay?" Eric waves a hand in front of my face.
Slowly I shake my head. 'No.'
"Congratulations guys." Eric smiles at the two of them. "Now, if you'll just excuse your mother and I for a moment, we need to talk in private."
Ean grabs my arm and pulls me aside. He gives me a look to say something, anything.
"I-I, I thought we taught them not to make the same mistakes we did."
"In a way he didn't." Eric shrugs. "He's got a job, they've been together for a year, they're already moving in together. Their situation is better than ours was."
"Eric, he's seventeen. He could have a whole life ahead of him. Our whole relationship revolved around children--we never had anytime for ourselves, he's still so young. I-I, we're too young to be grandparents."
"Serena is twenty-one now, I think that she's probably at the time where she wants more. I mean, they both made a decision here and it looks like they're having a baby."
I shake my head. "Well I don't approve."
"You don't approve and what are you going to do about it? Not ever see or get to know your grandchild? Never talk to Ean again?"
I run my hands through my hair. "I need time to comprehend this, I can't be happy, I'm not happy about this."
"Well then you can go home. I'll tell them that you weren't feeling well. The children and I are going to help them move in still. Family supports each other, Elena. You need time, then fine, take it, but you're going to miss out if you take too much." He sighs. "This is out of our hands."
"I'm going to go," I point my thumb over my shoulder and leave. Walking through the apartment I hear Ean call my name along with Serena. I ignore them as I such the door. I walk down the hallway to get to my empty apartment. I head straight for my bedroom and shut the door.
I want to be happy, I'll get over it--I know I will, but right now all I can think about is the same mistakes Eric and I made when we were younger. I love my children and wouldn't change anything, but somedays I wish Eric and I had dated a few years, even got married before we had any children. My head is spinning with so much possibility.
It isn't until later when everyone gets home. They're slightly quiet than usual. I hear the door crack, it's Eric.
"How was moving?" I turn over in bed.
"It was good." Eric sighs and sits on the bed. "You know that Em knew?"
I prop myself up. "What? He knew?"
"He was the one that suggested she was. He figured it out." Eric chuckles. "The kids told me the story shortly after you left. It was almost like he was there with us."
I frown. "The kids all knew before us?"
"Only Emery." Eric shakes his head. "The rest found out today with us."
I think back to the ceremony. "Do you think that's why he hesitated today?"
"It seems like it's the only reason he would until Ean nodded to him."
I roll over in bed and groan. "You really are a grandpa now."
"I might as well be, I've carried the title for years." Eric chuckles.
"Well I haven't. I'm too young," I smile at him.
"I've only got two years on you."
I scoot closer to him and kiss him. "I support Ean."
"Good. He was really sad you left."
"I had to leave before I said something I knew I would largely regret later."
"Serena's going to be your new daughter-in-law." Eric laughs.
"I knew she wanted to be a Coulter," I squint my eyes.
"I guess some people just belong as one."
"I don't approve of Serena. I still don't like her," I cross my arms.
"I guess you'll have to grow to love her."
"I don't have to grow to love anybody but that new baby."
"We lost a child today and we gained one today. We have them to thank for that."
"No one can replace Em," I frown.
"I know that, that's not what I was saying." Eric scowls at me. "For visitors day I'm taking off."
"Good, we can all go together."
"What about Serena and Ean?"
I shrug my shoulders, "Well Ean can come, it's his brother."
"They're going to get married, Elena." Eric rolls his eyes. "What will you do then?"
"They're engaged?" My eyes widen.
"Not yet, but it's coming. Ean gave me the heads up. So unless you have a way to convince him not too, she's your daughter-in-law."
"It took you years to propose," I reminisce.
"Ean isn't me." Eric shrugs. "He said that enough times today to be insulting."
"Well..." I begin. "You weren't exactly the best person when we were younger."
"I know." He says disappointed.
"But," I stand on my knees and begin to rub his shoulders. "But now you're the man of my dreams." I kiss his cheek.
"Good." He smiles. "Now back to the kids, what are we going to do next year when all three of them decide?"
"I'm trying not to think that far ahead. My mind is spinning with everything." I flop back on the bed.
"What are you thinking? Why after all these years is it still so hard for you to just like Serena?"
"I wasn't thinking of her," I throw daggers at him. "But, yes it is so hard to like Serena. Why? Because."
"Why? Five years is a long time..."
"She doesn't talk to me the way she talks to you, Eric. If you were me you'd see that. But you're blinded by her Erudite transfer charm."
"It's not even like that." He rolls his eyes. "She's a good person and you barely know her or even make the effort to. I think you should start trying to now that she's carrying your grandchild."
"I've already accepted that Ean got her pregnant, now you want to force me to be her best friend?"
"I just think you two don't know each other enough."
"I'm content with that. She probably knows enough about me by hearing all kinds of stories from her best friend," I refer to Eric.
"Probably, but that's no excuse for you not to know her."
"Any excuse is a good excuse."
"Do it for Ean and the unborn Coulter she carries."
"Eric," I groan. "You can't make me."
"I can too if I make it a work assignment." Eric devilishly smiles.
"A work assignment? You would not."
"Oh, I would."
"I'm cutting you off then."
"Off of what?" He laughs.
"Oh I think you know." I smirk.
"I don't need it." Eric raises his chin. "I can get it elsewhere."
"Fine, but if you get from 'elsewhere' then I'm filing for divorce."
"Elsewhere meaning myself, Elena." He throws me a dirty look.
"Have fun with your hands for the next few months then."
"You'll cave before I do."
"Sure I will," I chuckle.
"This is what Ean wants too."
"Ean wants us to not have sex?"
"Ean wants for you and Serena to get along." Eric shakes his head.
"Who said getting along was being her best friend. I tolerate her, isn't that enough?"
"Probably not."
"Well it should be."
"Monday morning you will report to Ean."
"Why?"
"Because Serena work with him now so you will be too."
"Fine then I quit," I smile.
"You can't." Eric laughs. "Don't be such a baby, it's only for a day."
"I think I'm coming down with something, I can't come into work Monday." I fake a cough.
"I'm not discussing this with you any longer."
"Great," I smile and get back under the covers.
Eric scowls. "I'm sleeping in the guest bedroom if you won't do this for him."
"It's not like we were going to have sex tonight anyways."
"Fine." Eric grabs his pillow.
"Fine." I turn over in bed and begin to fall asleep.
**