I call Peter, "Peter I need you to come pick me up," I say with a tired voice.
"Why? The children..."
"Please Peter, I can't call Eric, have one of the guards watch them--Robert ask him, he's watched the kids before. Please, I need you."
"Okay?" He says confused. "Where are you at?"
"Erudite hospital."
"Why the hell are you there?"
"Please Peter, I'll explain later. I just need you to come pick me up."
He sighs. "Fine. I'm on my way." In the background I hear the kids screaming before he hangs up.
Daniel gave me a pad to wear for the bleeding and said not to move and get plenty of rest for the week, to try not to do anything too severe. I wait a few minutes and Peter wheels me away to the car.
The car ride back to Dauntless is silent until Peter decided to ask me, "Why were you there, Elena?" His voice quiet.
I look at him, tears forming in my eyes. "I got an abortion," the words fall out.
"Was it-whose was it?"
"It was yours," the truth. When Eric and I had sex that morning after Peter and mine's first time-- he wore a condom. It was impossible for it to be Eric's.
Peter's hand grip the steering wheel tighter. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." He growls. "You made this decision without me. Took away my child." He shakes his head. "You might not have wanted it, but I've always wanted children." He shoots me a dirty look.
"Peter you know I couldn't keep it! I'm married to Eric and if he found out--it would kill him! I made this decision because it was the right thing to do!" I cry.
"I always knew you'd turn out to be a mistake." He coldly remarked. I knew it was his truth.
My temper grows, mistake. "Of course this was a mistake," I spit out. "I'm married!"
"Oh yes! You really act like it!" He yells sarcastically.
Guilt overpowers me and I throw my hands over my face. "I realize I made a mistake, okay Peter? I-If I kept that child...what exactly do you think life would be like? Eric would throw me out, my children would get taken from me! Did you expect me to move in with you and raise it?"
"Fuck off." He snarls. "I don't want anything to do with you." His knuckles had turned white and his face was completely red. His anger poured off of him in waves.
I grab my cramping stomach and turn my attention out the window. The rest of the car ride is silent until we reach Dauntless.
When I get home the children flock to me. I look at Peter who, reluctantly, helped me to the door. "Can you at least stay and watch them until Eric gets home?" It's a stretch to ask him, I know but I try anyways.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Robert can. I'm out of here."
Just like that he was gone.
I walk past my children and head to the bedroom, slamming the door and crawling into bed. In pain and overly exhausted I fall asleep.
I wake up to Eric shaking me, the room is dark--it's night time.
"Hey."
"Hey," I say "Do you have another night shift?" I say still tired.
"Yeah. I just got back. It's pretty late, I just wanted to see how your day went. Robert says you weren't feeling too well."
"My period," I lie.
"Elena..." He drags out my name and growls it.
"I have cramps," I roll over and cuddle the pillow. "I'm not in the mood for an interrogation."
"But you will tell me. I know you. The truth always comes out with you." He huffs.
"Okay, Eric," I say annoyed. "Just not tonight." I whine.
"Fine. I'm going to take a shower. I really worked up a sweat today." He chuckles and heads his way into the bathroom.
I cuddle my pillow and attempt to go back to sleep. Barely five minutes later I have nausea and I feel myself bleeding a lot so I head to the bathroom. I open the door, the steam from the shower feels nice and warm. I open up one of the drawers to grab a pad, I look over to see Eric's phone sticking out of his pocket. It lights up. I grab it and walk out of the bathroom.
An unknown number.
I answer it but don't say anything.
"Hey, baby. Tonight was great. I was just calling to say goodnight."
The voice sounds familiar, "Audrey?" I mumble the name trying not to give away my own girlish voice.
"Elena!" She gasps.
"Shit," I say loud. "W-What the fuck? Audrey?"
"......yes." She whispers.
"You're dead," I say in shock.
Just then, the line goes dead. She hung up. I turn around and Eric is standing in the threshold of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. I turn around and hold up his phone, my mouth opened slightly in shock and despair.
"Who was that?" He tilts his head. Oh, he has no clue. "And why do you have my phone?" He furrows his eyebrows.
"When were you going to tell me?" My voice cracks. "Fucking Audrey! When were you going to tell me you were fucking her? And that-OH she ISN'T dead!?" I scream, tears pooling from my eyes.
"Calm down, Elena. That's a lot of accusations you have going on there." He says clenching his fist not holding the towel.
"Don't you dare tell me to calm down Eric Coulter, you LIED to me. You went behind my back and cheated on me. How long?" There's a pause, "How long!?" I shout.
"Let's play a question for a question, shall we."
"Who the fuck do you think you are to make demands!?"
"Where were you tonight Elena?" He smiles.
"I was here, sick," I spit out.
"Oh, so you weren't at the hospital today? You didn't see my brother? Or rather, fuck Daniel?" Eric smirks as he's caught me.
"W-What? I-You, I didn't...This isn't about--Audrey! What about Audrey!? What the fuck is that about?" I attempt to change the subject.
"Since you love to snoop through my phone, let's go to my messages and see the latest video." His eyes cold.
He plays the video on the phone, my heart goes still and my body tenses as I see a video of Daniel pressing his naked body against mine, my hands raking down his back. My moans. I swat his phone away. "Eric..." I can't even look him in the eyes. "I didn't want to, I didn't want to have sex with him!" I plead my case.
"Then why did you go there today?"
"No, no--you still owe me an answer. How long have you been fucking her?" Tears cloud my eyes.
"Remember when things got bad between us after the miscarriages?" He says seemingly emotionless.
"You knew," I grab my heart hurt. "You knew she wasn't ever dead. You-You've been cheating on me for two years!?" I sob.
"My turn. Why did you go to the hospital today?"
"Because I was getting contraception," I vaguely respond. "My turn. You never knew she was dead? You lied to me for nearly six years?"
"She tried to commit suicide then and she nearly succeeded. She was as good as dead. I went back when things were bad to check on her and she's pretty much back to normal, despite her bad days..." He trails and then shakes his head. "Why are you in pain and not feeling good if all you went to the hospital for was contraception?"
I didn't care if I hurt him in this moment. I was seething with anger. "I got an abortion," I spit out. "You told me Audrey was dead, you said the fucking words to my face! You spent the night talking about how it was me, I was the one for you--did you even fucking mean it!?"
"I did. I thought she was dead. That was what they told me. Where was Peter today- why wasn't he here with you instead of Robert?"
"Because he left," I continue to be vague. "And when you found out Audrey was alive...what? Did your mind change?"
"That's not a good enough answer Elena." He crosses his arms over his chest.
I want to ring his neck. "He left because he found out I got an abortion," There.
Eric looks confused and then his eyes go wide as it dawns on him. "No." He says quietly. "Peter too?!" He yells.
"No," I shake my head. "It's my turn. Did you change your fucking mind, Eric!?"
"About what?" He says through gritted teeth.
"About it being me! When you found out she was alive, it was never me, was it? You chose her! Even now it's fucking her!"
"Do you want the truth?"
"Yes!" I shout.
"Well I don't think you can handle it."
"You bastard! Yes I fucked Peter, I fucked him and I loved it!" The words are like venom on my lips.
"Same with Audrey. I love my night shifts." He laughs.
"You son of a bitch," I shake my head. "You are sickening, we had a child together in that span of time, you LIED to me constantly--everyday when you told me you loved me. Every night you went to work--to fuck her! You fucking bastard," I repeat.
"Peter and Daniel? I really love the example you set for the kids with the sex tape. I'm guessing that wasn't your idea?"
"I had no clue he was taking that video," I spit, "He tricked me, I didn't want to have sex with him. It was blackmail! Peter was the only one I willingly had sex with but two weeks doesn't compare to two fucking years, Eric! Nice fucking example your showing with cheating too, don't you dare dump this all on me!"
"I'm sure you were really protesting Daniel. The moans really showed your displeasure. My wife fucked my brother. Wow. Yet you have the nerve to talk to me about betrayal. You cheated on me first with Peter, long ago. I'm not surprised you would again." He rolls his eyes.
"It was kiss, get over yourself! Now I wish I had fucked him long ago because what he can do in bed is something," I tip my head back and moan slightly mimicking pleasure.
"And now that you've killed his child, I'm sure there will be a whole lot less of that." He smiles.
"At least your brother will always take me up on an offer," I bite back.
"We can get rides to the hospital together." He laughs.
"What you did was so much worse Eric," My voice breaks.
"You have no proof, unlike I do. I have a video and a mental picture that'll be in my mind forever." He snarls.
"Good, maybe it'll dampen the mood when you're cheating on me with that mentally insane psychopath! And what the fuck do I need to prove? Are you planning on leaking my sex tape?" I cross my arms.
He shoots me a dirty look. "I would never do that. Daniel would himself if anything. I will have no problems fukcing Audrey, but fucking you ever again, I deffinitely will."
My face turns red in embarrassment. "You had no problem when you fucked her and then came home to fuck me--YOUR WIFE!"
"That was before the sex tape of you and my brother!"
"I don't care! It doesn't matter, you're a disgusting human being and you wondered why I never trusted or believed in you. Because You never changed, you're still the same arrogant asshole I met when I was sixteen."
"Except I fell in love."
"With Audrey? Or me? Because I doubt you ever fell in love with me. How many lies and how much deception have you been playing me for? How long have you been playing this charade?"
"I loved you at a time. Obviously there was a good four years we had together."
"Loved," the word croaks out of my mouth, "And what the hell changed it, so that you cheated on me? What did I do wrong?" I sob.
"She got better and you got worse."
"I got worse? Me?" I nearly laugh. "I was at home taking care of our children, our five children, one with who you--" I say low, "had with another fucking woman," My voice raises again "And I was to stay here and endure a miscarriage by myself while you worked soooo hard, now I don't even know if it was working or fucking."
"You wanted another so bad and you turned monstrous. So one day when I went to check on her and we had just gotten into another fight, it just made sense. It still does, especially days like this." He shakes his head. "And you thought I was getting soft. You began to cheat with Peter for a couple weeks now- why?"
"I've spent ten years of my life with you..." I say quietly. "I loved you, I stood by your side, supported you and the minute you met Audrey it was always her. You didn't even try to work it out, you lied for six years about her death to sneak behind my back while I was hurting and being monstrous, and you fucked her. You cheated. Yeah, I had sex with Peter, I had sex with him because you killed my father and I couldn't even look at you. I had the abortion so I could break it off with Peter, I had sex with your brother so he wouldn't tell you, so we could be together. I guess it was all for nothing. I could've kept the baby because you--you cheated and for much longer you son of a bitch."
He shrugs. "There was years we had together that was real. Years filled with me really never being enough for you. The truth is Elena, you've never trusted me or believed in me. You've never accepted me, not in the way that Audrey has. You don't love me like she does. It's always a battle with you. You can't accept my Dauntlessness, you can't accept the violence and impulsiveness; you've always been Candor. You know that we don't work, it's just lust, which explains Peter completely. Keep lying to yourself though. Meanwhile, I'll be here, loved by my basketcase."
"Lying to myself?" My voice calms down. "I don't love you like she does? Like she does? I loved you more than anyone could ever love a person. I've explored every part of you and loved every part of you, from the tattoo on your back we got together, to the birthmark near your bellybutton, to the scars on your back from the whips AND from the one time my nails raked too hard. I gave birth to five of your children, shared them with you, I know that every morning you make coffee because you hate mornings and can't function without it. I know about your past. I know that I look at the scar on my arm from you and love it because it reminds me of the person I fell in love with--the ruthless Dauntless leader. I look at this scar and think of the week you put me in the dungeon because I ran away to Amity. You always found me and I always found you. Yeah we fought and we hated each other, but I never, never cheated--you can't count Peter because HE kissed me. I never loved anyone but you, you did, you loved Audrey and I had reasons to be insecure because look--you've lied about her death and you've been cheating on me for two years. So please, tell me, did I have the right to not believe? Because I was right. It was here, you chose her."
"You always made the decision for me."
"Don't you dare turn that around on me. You made the decision to fuck her. It was your conscious mind that decided to cheat on me."
"You would've chose the same if you were me."
My heart drops. "You love her so much?" I look down at my wedding ring, take it off and hand it to him. "Why don't you go marry her? Oh and good luck explaining to the poor six year old boy who learned from you that his real mother died..that daddy lied about it all. You didn't just fuck up our life together, you fucked up their lives too."
He chuckles. "No way am I doing anything. I'm not changing up this life. It's fine." He tosses the ring back to me.
I nearly pull out my hair. "Oh my god. What the hell Eric? I'm not perfectly fine with this marriage if you go off every night and fuck some other girl you love more than me? A wife is your mate, the one person you love more than everyone else. That's not me, I'm not that person for you."
"I'm not that person for you either Elena!!!!!! And I'm fucking tired of you claiming I am. Fuck," He breathes, "even Peter knows it. Don't you remember him confessing it to you? That's why I never killed him off. I just found myself someone who is that for me."
"Peter is not my person. How the hell are you to say you aren't my person? I've never loved anyone the way I love you."
"Bullshit. You fucked my brother that's proof enough."
"I was blackmailed! God, Eric. I didn't want too!"
He plays the video and I hear my moans. He simply smiles. "Yeah, some blackmail. Reallllll torture. Sounds like you didn't want to."
"Stop playing it," I plug my ears. "It's a normal physical response!"
"It could be rape, but I don't know, doesn't really seem that way." He shrugs. "Just admit it, Elena. Stop lying to yourself."
I rub my forehead. "I don't care what it looks like, you only got a snippet of the video, he sent you the worst part! I'm not lying to myself--I wasn't enjoying it, I was trying to cope and get it over with--what did you want me to do? Scream and cry would that of made it better?"
"You lie to yourself constantly. With me and Peter too, but especially with yourself."
"You lie too Eric! You lie to your son, you lie to me!"
"We all lie. At least I can admit it."
"I was admitting it! I didn't want to have sex with Daniel, I only did it so he wouldn't tell you about the abortion, yes I was moaning in that video but I thought why suffer anymore than I am--I might as well enjoy it! I'm not lying when I say I love you. So why don't you stop lying and stop walking around the questions--what is the truth Eric? Huh? What is the truth regarding us?"
"The truth is that we're not right for each other and we never were. I think you know that though."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying just that. What do you want Elena? What do you want out of this? Do you want to ruin our life now, our family?"
"No, but...but I don't want to be miserable."
"I think I know a guy who could fix that." He smiles. "Maybe a couple." He winks.
I frown, "Eric, I'm serious."
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't want you cheating on me, but I can't force you to love me."
"I think we should be together and raise this family together, but I don't know if we should be together in that way. I-Elena, I-she... you've always known what she means to me."
"Then it's settled, we will raise the children like nothing has changed, we will be their role models. We won't tell Phoenix anything and you can fuck Audrey as much as you want."
"I want this to be fair to you, Elena. Don't you want to try things out with Peter?"
"It doesn't matter what's fair," I say in defeat. "I killed his child."
"Un-kill it."
I give him a dirty look. "Now's not the time to be funny."
"I'm not. Get pregnant again. I guarantee you he'll be back then."
I look at him. "I can't have another child. It'll just complicate and confuse things more--especially with the kids."
"Yeah, I'm done having kids." Eric sighs and sits down on the bed.
"Good," I cross my arms. I lay back in bed and grab onto the covers. "We're never going to be the same again...are we?"
Eric shrugs. "I can't say. Sometimes it feels like nothing has changed with us. I like the 'peace' we had before this mess." He rubs his head.
I nod my head. He was right. "Maybe one day we'll learn to love each other again." I say quietly.
"I don't know about that." He looks over at me. "Elena, I'm sorry."
I don't bother answering him as I turn on my side, tears roll down my cheek and I pretend to be asleep.