Ashton's PoV:
"Daddy! Daddy!"
I shot straight up, sweat covering my entire body as I shook like I was in my own personal earthquake.
I could feel my heart hammering out of my chest and then the sounds of my daughter calling out my name.
Then I realised I was sobbing uncontrollably.
"Daddy!" I felt a little hand touch my arm.
I was too far into the aftermath of what I had just experienced in my head to notice Gracie slide off the bed, grab my phone, and run out of the room and across the hall.
I was too far gone to know that she ran into the boys hotel room, making her way to one of the bedrooms that contained my sleeping friends and climbed on the bed and began to push on Michael.
I was too deep into my despair that I wouldn't hear her shout "Call Mommy! Call Mommy!" To Michael as he woke up.
I was too far into my mind to see Michael confusedly call my fiancé who answered the phone, only to have Michael tell her he didn't know what was happening, and for Gracie to take the phone and run back to me.
The door opened and Gracie came back in with Michael following her.
I could see and hear them but I wasn't able to respond. I felt helpless.
"Mommy, Daddy crying." Gracie said as she climbed up onto the bed.
"Woah, you okay man?" Michael then walked up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Gracie, give me the phone."
She handed him the phone and he held it up to his ear.
"I don't know, he's just crying. He's shaking really bad too." Michael said as he looked me over. "Yeah, hold on." He said and then moved the phone away from him and pressed something so I assumed he put it on speaker.
But the sound of Carters voice proved me right.
"Ashton? What's going on?"
I wanted to tell her what I had just witnessed in my mind, because it felt so real, but I couldn't get the words out.
"Ashton. I need you to breathe for me, okay?" Carter said. "Take deep breaths, calm down."
I needed to do what she said. I needed to breathe. I had to calm down.
I sucked in air as I tried to calm myself down, swallowing it down.
"Slowly, Ashton. Take slow, deep breaths."
I had to do what she said.
I inhaled and exhaled, listening to her coax me through the panic and bring me back down to earth.
Once I was breathing normally Michael spoke into the phone.
"I think he's okay."
"Ashton? Can you tell me what's going on?" Carter asked me.
"I-" I started and had to clear my throat. "I had a dream that Robert Ramone was in our hotel room and he grabbed me and he was going to kill us and he wasn't even her dad and-"
That was all I was able to get out before my voice broke.
"Ash, baby, it was just a dream. Okay? That didn't happen."
"But it could." I whispered.
"No, baby, no." She said. "I think that you're not fully over what happened and so that anxiety of losing Gracie is still there."
"Maybe." I sniffled.
"You have to work through that honey. If you don't realise that all of that is really over you're probably going to keep suffering from panic attacks, which is what I think you just had."
"Yeah." I nodded as if she could see me.
"She's not leaving us Ashton, you have to remember that." Carter said in a very sweet and comforting voice. "She's our daughter. She's your daughter. No one can take her away from us."
"I want you to come back." I whimpered after a minute of silence.
"I know; I want to come back too. Just a couple more days."
My response was a sniffle.
"You need to get some rest, honey."
"I don't want to hang up."
"Okay, then just put the phone next to you, lay down, and i'll stay on the phone while you sleep."
"You won't hang up?"
"No, I won't hang up. I'll still be on the line when you wake up. I promise."
"Okay..."
"Get Gracie, hold her and tell her everything's okay and just close your eyes." Carter said.
"Do you want me to stay here?" Michael asked me and I nodded, watching him go lay down on the other bed.
I brought Gracie closer to me and hugged her, kissing her head before telling her I was sorry for scaring her.
The two of us laid down and she cuddled herself into my arms.
"Go to sleep Ash. I'll be here when you wake up." Carter said softly and I closed my eyes.
As I tried to relax enough to go to sleep I could hear her moving around and doing little things.
I heard what sounded like Carter doing laundry and then her quietly talking to Ender and telling him to wake up.
I heard the quiet noises of her making breakfast and then Ender talking, Carter telling him to whisper.
The two of them had breakfast and then she sent Ender outside and it was dead silent for a minute before she spoke.
"You're not asleep." She said.
"How did you know?"
"I could hear you breathing, that's not how you breathe when you sleep."
"You know how I breathe when I sleep?"
"I sleep next to you every night." She chuckled. "I know you, Ashton."
"...I'm scared to go back to sleep..." I admitted.
"I know, but you have to try."
"Okay."
"I love you."
"I love you too." I said. "Don't hang up."
"I won't." She replied sweetly.
I closed my eyes again and breathed deeply.
I fell asleep to the sound of her heading out to to the boat and the sound of the ocean and wind.
My head felt heavy as I came back into consciousness.
I could hear noises next to my head and tried to focus on them, realising it was Carters voice.
"Are you having fun with Daddy this week?"
"Mhmm." I then heard Gracie and felt her hand against my stomach.
"What have you two done?"
"We play with Sprinkles." Gracie said.
"Yeah. I'm excited to see Sprinkles. Are you taking good care of her?"
"Mhmm."
"Tell me how you take care of a puppy."
"I make Sprinkles breakfast and dinner, and we have playtime and baths!"
"Good. Sprinkles is in good hands with you taking care of her."
"Daddy help me."
"Yeah. Well you should be extra sweet to your Daddy today and make sure he gets all the Gracie hugs and kisses he wants."
"I do that." Gracie said and I smiled.
A few seconds later I opened my eyes to see Gracie sitting right next to me, her hands on my stomach while the phone laid on the bed next to her.
"Daddy!" Gracie smiled when I opened my eyes.
"Hey baby girl."
"Look who's up." I then heard Carter.
"You stayed on the phone." I said as I sat up.
"I told you I would." She laughed. "How are you feeling?"
"I don't know."
"I've been texting the guys and they agree with me that you need to take a day off, I want you to rest today."
"Car, I have stuff to do I can't take a day off." I sighed.
"Do you remember awhile back when we had the conversation that you were going to start listening to me more? Well this is one of those times Ash. It's not up for discussion. Michael is going to take the day off too and stay with you and Gracie and make sure you're okay."
"I don't need a babysitter."
I was slightly annoyed.
"I know you don't Ashton, but i'm worried about you. You scared me last night and I know Michael was scared too, and he's looking out for you until I get there."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to get snappy." I apologised.
"You didn't." She replied in a sweet voice. "Will you call me or text me through the day and let me know how you are?"
"Yeah. You're leaving tomorrow morning?" I checked.
"I am, and i'll see you soon."
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you too." She chuckled. "Have a fun day with Daddy, I'll see you soon Gray!"
"Bye, Mommy!" Gracie laughed.
We disconnected soon after but I managed to get a screenshot of how long the call had been going.
10 hours 47 minutes and 13 seconds.
As Gracie crawled over me I decided to share the screenshot on Instagram, tagging Carter in the photo.
'Had a panic attack last night and was scared to go back to sleep, so she stayed on the line while I slept until I woke up. This week without her has been so hard and I miss her like crazy, but she was so sweet to stay on the phone with me even though she had work to do, just so I would feel better. I miss her and love her more than words can explain. Hurry home to me, darling.'
"Daddy what we do?" Gracie tugged at my arm.
"Do you want to go on adventures today?" I asked her and she nodded happily.
I picked her up and got her dressed in black leggings, a grey tee shirt and a blue jacket before braiding her curls into two braids.
I then got ready myself and as I was brushing my teeth Michael stepped into the bathroom.
"Hey, how you feeling?" He asked.
"Fine." I spit out the toothpaste and set the brush down. "So Carter is making you babysit me, huh?"
"No. I offered to stay with you today, it wasn't her idea."
"Right." I scoffed.
"She's worried about you, and I am too." He said and I looked down at the ground, leaning against the counter.
"Do you remember how depressed you would get when you left Carter for tour?" He asked. "I thought this week you would just be sad, but Ashton, you don't do good when she's not here. It's gotten worse."
"I know I don't do good without her, just last night I..."
"You don't have to talk about it with me right now if you don't want, just please talk to Carter about it when she gets back. Don't hold this in till you explode."
I nodded.
"So what are we doing today?"
"I was thinking about renting a car and driving out to the beach."
"It's cold outside."
"So." I shrugged. "It's an adventure."
Michael cracked a smile at this.
I called downstairs and ordered a rental car before getting Gracie and her puppy and taking them outside for Sprinkles' morning walk.
I took them back in and got a back pack together with an extra outfit, blanket, sippy cup, and a few toys.
Michael came back and said he was ready to go so we headed downstairs where I moved the car seat into the rental car, paparazzi taking photos and then strapped Gracie in and then got in the drivers seat.
I drove away from the hotel and made my way a few blocks north to get breakfast at a cafe and then kept driving.
It was quiet and peaceful besides Gracie talking to us about silly things and I had to get onto her because she kept kicking the back of Michaels seat.
As I kept driving into the country I found myself at a seaside town and pulled over to the beach parking lot.
When I put the car in park my phone began to ring and I took my phone from my pocket to see Carter calling me.
"Hey." I answered.
"Hey. I just wanted to let you know we're about to get on the plane."
"Oh, okay. Have a safe flight."
"Yeah. So what are you doing?"
"Gracie and I are going on adventures today."
"Aw." She laughed. "Okay well we are about to take off. I'll see you in just one day." I could hear her smile in her voice.
"I know. Tell the pilot to fly as fast as he can."
"I'll try and pass the message along."
I let out a laugh.
"I love you." I smiled.
"I love you too. See you soon."
"I can't wait."
I hung up and then got out of the car, getting Gracie from the backseat.
"Daddy it's windy!" Gracie said as I set her down on the concrete.
"I know." I smiled at her as I put on my jacket, Michael getting out of the car.
"Let's go exploring." I took Gracie's hand and we began to walk to the beach.
Michael walked on the other side of Gracie as we began to walk along the shore and I tugged Sprinkles on her leash.
"We swim?" Gracie looked up and asked me.
"The water is too cold to swim in." I laughed.
"I check!" She said and ran towards the water. When she reached the water she stopped and bent down, reaching out to touch the water.
She squealed and pulled her hand back, running back over to me.
"It's cold, Daddy!"
"I told you." I laughed. "Come on, let's look for seashells."
We went back to the water and walked along its edge to find sea shells, Sprinkles walking alongside us on her leash.
"It's broken." Gracie held up a sea shell to me and frowned.
"Let's find some pretty ones and bring them to Mommy and Ender." I told her and she nodded happily, running a few feet ahead to look at another shell.
I heard my phone go off again and looked to see Carter had tagged me in an Instagram post.
She had taken a selfie of her and Ender on the airplane and I smiled as I read what she had written.
'This week, being home was so heartwarming and welcoming and i'm going to miss it, but I know Ender and I are ready to be back with Ashton and Gracie. We've missed those two dorks badly and I can't wait to see them, hug them, and kiss them a million times over. We'll see you soon Ash and Gray!'
"What that?" Gracie ran up to me and I bent down to show her my phone.
"Look. That's Mommy and Ender on the plane coming back to us."
"I see big brother tomorrow?"
"Yeah. And you get to see Mommy too."
"Yay!" Gracie jumped and then wrapped her arms around my neck and I picked her up to
hug her.
I gave her a kiss and then set her back on the ground.
"Okay, I'm like 99.9 percent sure that you and Carter hooked up four years ago and you got her pregnant with Gracie." Michael said as he stood next to me, the both of us watching Gracie look at the sea shells.
I laughed.
"Yeah me too."
"I took this." He handed me his phone and showed me a photo of Gracie and I smiling at each other. "She has your smile."
"She's something else." I shook my head and looked back at Gracie. "Look, I want to thank you for last night, I didn't mean to freak you out."
"What was it you had a panic attack about?"
"I had a dream that Robert Ramone was in our hotel room with a gun."
"Yeah, that'll do it." Michael said and I laughed trough my nose, a smile on my lips.
"Daddy, look what I found!" Gracie then ran up to us, a shell in her hand.
"Oh that's a nice one. Let's take that home to show Mommy."
We spent a bit more time at the beach before we drove around the town and found a place on the water to have lunch.
Gracie sat next to me and held my hand while she sipped her milk from a kids cup.
"You're my favorite little Gracie." I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"I your only Gracie." She giggled.
She and I shared fish n' chips and when she was done she climbed over in my lap and leaned against me.
"Daddy i'm sad."
"You're sad?" I asked. "Why are you sad?"
"I want to talk to Mommy."
"Yeah? What do you want to tell Mommy?"
"I tell Mommy a secret."
"A secret? What's the secret?"
"I love her."
"You don't have to keep that a secret." I laughed and she smiled up at me.
After lunch we walked Sprinkles on the beach one more time before we got back in the car so I could drive us back to the hotel.
It was her nap time and she fell asleep in her car seat and when we got to the hotel I carried the sleeping child inside and laid her in the bed.
I had Michael send me the photo he had taken and shared it.
'For our last day of Daddy-Daughter week, we headed out to the beach for an adventure. It was cold and windy but we had fun none the less. As our week comes to an end, I'm thankful for the time i've been able to spend with my daughter, but I think we are both ready for Mommy and Ender to come home to be with us again. One more day.'
The rest of the day was spent eating dinner and giving Gracie a bath.
As she cuddled up to me in the bed I held her close and tried to get my excited self to calm down so I could sleep. I just wanted to see Carter so badly.
I managed to get in five hours of sleep and when the alarm went off I shot out of the bed.
Today was the day.
"Gracie, baby, it's time to get up." I picked up my sleepy girl.
She fluttered her eyes open.
"We get to see Mommy and Ender today." I said with a big grin and that seemed to wake her up.
We got dressed and I ordered room service for breakfast then we took Sprinkles for her morning walk before taking her up to the room.
"Okay, lets go get Mommy." I cheered and Gracie clapped her hands joyfully as I took us down to the car.
"We see Mommy! We see Mommy!" Gracie sang as we rode to the airport, the driver, Dave, and myself laughing at her.
I hadn't told Carter that we would be picking her up; she thought she would be meeting us at the hotel, so it would be nice to surprise her.
At the airport, Gracie and I went through security before looking for Carters flight on the board. I found it and it said it would be arriving in ten minutes.
I found gate C36 and led Gracie off to the side where I held her hand as we waited. Around five minutes later the plane began to pull up to the gate and Gracie ran to the window to look, pressing her face and hands to the glass and I managed to get a cute picture of her.
Finally the plane stopped moving and a few minutes later people began to walk off, coming out of the little hall that led down to the plane.
I watched as people walked out and searched the crowd for my fiancé and son until I saw a messy bun of brown-auburn curls and my eyes locked on Carter.
She had on one of my tees that she had taken and black skinnies, her face makeup free and glowing. Ender was next to her and was talking to her.
"Look Gracie, there's Mommy!" I pointed her out and Gracie gasped. "Go get her!"
Gracie then ran off into the crowd that had dispersed a bit and made a bee line for Carter.
"Mommy!" She yelled and Carter snapped her head to the side to see Gracie, stopping and opening her mouth in surprise.
"Gracie!" Carter crouched down as Gracie approached and caught her in a hug, holding her close. She stood, holding Gracie to her tightly, her hand touching her daughters hair.
Gracie leaned back to look at Carter and I could see the big tear drops in her eyes.
"Why are you crying, baby?" Carter frowned as she touched Gracie's face with her fingers.
"I miss you." Gracie sniffled.
"Oh I missed you too, but i'm here now, don't cry."
I smiled at the mother and daughter and then saw Ender come running my direction.
"DAD!"
I opened my arms to him and he jumped in them, hugging me tightly.
"Hey, bud!" I kissed his cheek before squeezing him. He then slid off, grinning up at me.
I looked back over at Carter and she kissed Gracie's head and then looked up, her eyes meeting mine.
I smiled, watching as she began to walk my way.
As she got closer her pace quickened and then she reached me, throwing her free arm around my neck, my arms winding around her waist.
"Hi." She whispered.
"Hi." I whispered back, feeling her turn her face into my neck and I laid my cheek on hers.
Gracie was still on her waist and then started to wiggle.
"Ender! Ender!"
Carter stepped back and set Gracie down where she ran to hug Ender. I stepped up and put my arm around Carters shoulders and she turned into me and I pressed my lips to her forehead.
"Look at them." Carter nodded to the two hugging kids and I let out a laugh.
"They're sweet." I smiled. "I've missed you."
"Oh I've missed you too." Carter hugged me like she normally did, with her arms around my neck and her head on my chest.
I tilted my head down and she looked up at me with her innocent grey eyes and I playfully bumped my nose against hers before attaching our lips for a kiss.
Carter and I both relaxed and I heard Ender say "ew" and Gracie start clapping.
This feeling of being able to hold Carter after not being able to for a week, just being able to feel her touch and smell her hair and be in her presence was an overwhelming feeling.
I could tell she was losing air so we broke the kiss.
"I love you." Carter kept her lips close to mine as she spoke.
"I love you more." I said back and she let out her adorable laugh. "Let's get you back to the hotel."
She let me go and went to pick up Gracie before taking my hand.
"So tell me about your adventures with Daddy yesterday." Carter smiled at Gracie as I took Enders hand and we began to walk through the airport.
Gracie began to tell her Mommy about what she did yesterday, bring interrupted quite often by Carter kissing her face.
When we reached baggage claim I took their bags and led us out to the car where Dave helped me load them in the back before we all got in.
When I sat down, Carter immediately took my hand again, squeezing my fingers.
I watched her as she spoke to Ender and Gracie. Her skin was more tan and she had a few more sun freckles on her cheeks, but she looked beautiful.
Being the impulsive man I was I bent down and kissed her while and was talking and when I pulled away she gave me a look to say "I
know, i've missed you too."
When we arrived at the hotel, we went through the back and then made our way up to our room.
Michael, Luke, and Calum were inside and Carter smiled as she went to hug all three guys and kiss them on the cheek.
"I've missed you guys." She said.
"We've missed you too." Calum smiled at her and she hugged him again before Gracie ran up to her, Sprinkles in hand.
"Mommy, this Sprinkles!" Gracie showed her the dog and Carter gasped playfully before crouching down to pet the puppy.
"Wow, she is very pretty." Carter said as Gracie beamed, Sprinkles sniffing and licking at Carters hand.
"Can I hold her?" She asked Gracie who nodded and I watched as Gracie, Carter, and Ender played and petted the new puppy.
I went over to join them, laughing as Sprinkles began to jump at Carter.
She then went to go unpack and had Ender do the same and I watched her move around the room, going to the bed and leaning back so I could get a better view of the gorgeous girl I was lucky enough to call mine.
"You know, staring at me won't get you anywhere." Carter said and my eyes went wide. "If you want me then do something about it."
"Come here then." I said and she laughed as she walked back over to me and climbed up on the bed. "Let me hold you."
She laid down next to me but I wanted her closer and moved her so she was laying on top of me.
As she nestled into my chest I let my hand rub up and down her back and not five minutes later she was asleep.
I'm sure she was exhausted.
Ender and Gracie were playing with the puppy so I grabbed my phone and took a cute picture of Carter and I before going to share it.
'She may be jet lagged and asleep but she's back with me. And that's okay, it just means I get to hold her, love her, and protect her while she sleeps and gets back on London time. Car, I love being your fiancé but I can't wait to be your husband.'
I set my phone down and then closed my eyes, leaning my head on hers and pressing my lips to her hair.
"Welcome home, baby."
--
Long time no update but here we are!
Sorry it took so long!
I promise i'll have the next one up quicker I promise!!!
Much love xx-M