I woke up hearing unusual sounds coming from the kitchen. They sounded weird. I slip on my sandals and walk out. As I head further into the hall, those sounds become familiar.
They weren't sounds, they were yelps of pleads. I rush out and turn on the lights.
I scream at the sight. I kneel before Vicky and see she's going into labor. The thing was, blood was only coming out and she looked sick and done.
My mom appears moments after, kneeling with me and looking. She instructs me to start the car and call the animal hospital.
My mom and I hear stay outside the waiting room, hearing Vicky howl for mercy, breaking my heart. My mom leans next to me, sighing "Emma, I think her babies are going to die." I gasp, crying "What do you mean?" my mom explains to me and hugs me for comfort.
My Vicky, my grand puppies, her pups. They were going to be gone and the pain she'll have to endure. Suddenly her pleads are gone and silence dominates the room.
I sigh in relief. She's doing fine now. But when the vet came to the hall, face full of sadness, I couldn't help but scream in pain.
My Vicky! My Vicky! The dog I chose when I was seven years old! The dog I took care of. The dog that loved me! The dog that made me happy even no one else could! My Vicky, my Vicky was gone now.
She couldn't pull through; labor was too much for an older pup like her.
A part of me was gone. I think I could never be the same without her.
Just walking back into the house, without her felt horrible. It felt like I didn't deserve to be alive without her.
I slammed my body on the couch and cried with my mom until morning. Wilbert and Harry came to the house after their Saturday run, finding us a complete mess.
When Harry found out, he broke down in tears too. That Vicky was my child. She was a family to us.
I had to call Natalie.
I sat with Harry in my bed and wait till she picked up. I called her twice until she did "Emma? What happened?" I cry "Nat! Vick Died giving birth this mid night." I can hear her voice crack "WHAT! What do you mean?" I close my eyes and rephrase "She isn't here Nat. she's gone." She screams and sobs into the phone "Ahhh! Ahhh! Why! Ahh! Why I can't I be with her! Why! Oh ahhh fuck sakes! My Vick! Ahhhh! My ahhh!" I don't hang up and I listen to her mourning soul for Vick. I understand her pain.
She hanged up on me and didn't answer my texts or call back for the entire day.
Harry just pulls out a photo album and goes through them "We should just look at Vicky's happy moments. We should embrace her life instead of mourning Em's. Besides, you shouldn't get like this; it's not healthy for the baby."
For a moment I forgot about the child.
There's that picture. When I found Vicky at the pet store. I begged my mom for Vicky. And there's the last picture I took of Vicky. I was rebellious at the time and dyed my hair.
My souls burns and mourns for her, devastation is what I wear.
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