After a while of sitting on the beach, Zayn had to bring it up again. I mean I really can't blame him, it's killing him. Were both slowly dying inside. I'm sure both of us didn't mean to get me knocked up but life is cruel.
Zayn sighs real loud, letting me go from the grip "Emma?"
I can feel the tears rallying up by the rims of my eye. My heart started pounding and my mouth turned dry. The felling was awful.
I cross my legs, inhaling sharply "Zayn I want you to think about this proposition I'm about to give you okay. And please don't interrupt me; let me finish saying what I need to say." He nods.
I close my eyes, just thinking about what I was going to say to him, killed my every being "I want you to have the option to um... I'm not having an abortion Zayn. That is not going to be a choice I'm going to endure. I understand were too young for this but I think it's just too immoral for me. Now, I may keep or may not keep this child. But if I do, I'm giving you the option of an outs. An outs to this relationship and outs to this responsibility. Just please think about it. I don't want to hold you back. Or maybe you can have an outs with me, and still somehow fit in with the child. I just don't want to ruin your life and I don't want you to hate me for it. Zayn, I'm giving you an outs, please take it." I can't believe he didn't say a word. Maybe he was going to take the outs.
Suddenly he starts sobbing "Emma, no. I will not take an outs, the outs you proposed. That was just stupid to ask of me; don't you know me at all? I LOVE YOU! I uh, I Adore you. I love you with every fiber in my being. And I will not leave you alone. I will be here for you and I will always be here with our child, no matter the outcome. I will be your rock, and you will be mine. You know it's not going to be easy but we have each other."
He took my breath away. I was completely lost in his words. Nothing mattered but us, that's the way he made me feel at that moment. I love him.
We go back to my house and sit with my parents and Natalie. Natalie was just mad as hell, I would think even madder than my mom but maybe it was just the lighting. And Zayn, he was just trembling under his breath. We both were.
My mom scoffs "Emma? You're not serious?" I sigh "I know you're an OB Doctor, and you would recommend an abortion but I'm not going to take your advice." She laughs "Emma. Are you insane? Just think about it. You are... the both of you are just too young to carry on this responsibility!" I scoff "Remember you guys would always tell us that nothing is an accident in life, that everything has a purpose. Well this child has a purpose, whether I want it to or not. Besides, you guys also taught me to never take the easy route, to always face my responsibility and the consequences. Look, I'm not sure yet, but adoption is what well both look into."
My mother sighs, my dad blows out his air with burden and Natalie is still mad as hell. Suddenly my mom stands up, walks towards me and leans to onto me, gripping me into a hug "I'm so sorry Emma." She sobs on my shoulder, telling me she only panicked because that was her immediate instinct, that she didn't mean to abandon me in such times and she was proud of me, facing the consequences.
Then my dad comes and pulls Zayn into our hug.
Then we leave and drive to his parent's house.
We arrive at night, feeling the cold breeze. We sit the family around the dinner table. I remember the first time I entered this palace. The reflection from the floor, a high spirited girl. In love with so many things, a girl in love with a boy. Now, the reflection see's a poor girl, with life being sucked out.
Zayn had to keep yelling to his father. He hated the idea of sticking with keeping the child. But at the end, he was at ease, knowing we might not keep the child.
At midnight, Zayn took me to the gas station. Apparently having the tank almost on half empty can ruin the car. I got off with him, looking at him delicately putting the pump inside the car. Just looking at him makes me fall in love over and over again. I can't explain the feeling. It's like I'm already head deep in love with Zayn but whenever I lay eyes on him, I just grow deeper in love. It's almost like falling all over again, except that I'm already in love.
Then he takes me inside the shop. He laughs "So, how's the pregnant cravings? I'm not really familiar with everything. Like are you going to wake me up in the middle of the night and make me buy you pickles or kumquats?" I roll my eyes "I don't know yet, but now I feel like slapping you." He laughs "You know I'm only messing with you right." I grin "you know I'm not right." His laugh is replaced with a serious scared face but then smirks. He holds my waist and kisses my cheek "feisty." I laugh "Thank you for cheering me up. I know how you feel. I love you." He smiles and walks over to the slushy machine "Cherry right?" I smile "You remember?!" he rolls his eyes "Emma, half of our dates ended up at the gas station and you asking for a cherry slushy." I scoff "Well, guess what smart ass, I don't want that." He smirks "Oh really?" I smirk "I want chips with a Blue Berry Slushy." He grins and gets himself a cherry slushy and me what I asked for.
We walk to the car and he drives to the beach parking lot. There he hands me my stuff. I open my Hot Cheetos bag and grab a chip. I want for him to turn to me. He looks at me carefully. I dip the chip inside the slushy. Then I eat it. He looks at me with disgust and horror "What does that taste like?" I smirk "Good." I dip another one and hand it to him. He doubtfully takes it and eats it.
I was kidding, it tasted nasty but to my surprise he loved it "You know what, it does taste good." I burst out in laughter "I was lying you dumb butt! It tasted horrible!" he clicks his tongue, throwing me napkins.
He takes me to his dorms. I sigh "Zayn! Won't you get in trouble?" he smirks "What more could I do? Your already knocked up." I grin, rolling my eyes and kissing his hand. His humor just amazes me. I know he doesn't say it to insult me but to lighten the tense mood. I know he's dying inside but god I love him.
We tip toe into his room, turning on the lamp. He sighs, throwing his coat on the chair "My roommate isn't here for tonight; you can sleep in my bed." I look around and remember Luke's bed. It's changed. It's no longer orange sheets and punk rock posters. Now it's blue sheets and clean walls.
I sit on his bed and slowly bend down to untie my shoes. Then Zayn kneels before me, holding my ankles "Here, let me. Don't hurt yourself." He unties my shoes, dropping them on the floor. Looking at him made me just want to cry. His actions were just beautiful. We are in love.
He turns off the lamp and crawls into his roommate's bed. I sigh, sitting up "Sleep with me please?" he chuckles "Hey now Emma, begging for me. Naughty, besides you have..." I grab a pillow and throw it to his face, shutting him up. He laughs, getting the pillow and crawling into bed, next to me. He holds my hand, putting his face in between my neck.
In the morning, Zayn quietly got up, changed for school. Quietly isn't the word, but he did try his best. Then he wrote me a note and placed it on the pillow next to me. I pretended I was asleep. When he left, I got up quickly and opened the card.
It was blank. I scoff then suddenly he storms into the room "I knew it! I knew you were awake." I giggle, slamming my body back to bed. He rushes to me, kneeling on the bed and bending towards my face "I love you Emma. Wait here for me; I'll be back in three hours. Love you." He kisses me and runs out of the room.
The first hour I looked outside the window, watching all the guys act stupid. But then class started for all and I called the house. My dad picked up. I told him where I was. Then my dad passes the phone to my mom. She tells me we have to leave tomorrow morning.
The next hour I decided to clean up a bit, I know the room isn't really dirty but tidying up won't hurt.
As I cleaned, I came across a journal hidden away. I know I shouldn't read it but if it casually was knocked over and it opened to a page and my eyes carelessly read a few lines, I wouldn't exactly call it on purpose. I casually knock it over but it fell faced down. I sigh, knowing my plan failed. So I grabbed it and read it quickly "Natalie is hard to befriend. She is a great person but she's too hurt and I feel for her. If it were to me, I would ignore Nat but I love Emma too much." I close the book fast and held it towards my heart.
When Zayn came back, I sat by the window, smirking. He laughed "you cleaned up?" I smirked "You keep a journal?" he gasp, dropping his stuff on the floor "Did you read it?" I scoff "No! I saw it."