I had never been so angry at Ashton.
Even when I had found out about the band I had been more hurt than angry, but right now I was pissed.
I don't know what had gotten into him today but he was being so pushy and pressuring to the point where I just blew up.
I was so sick of him trying to always fix everything.
He acted as if I was broken all the time but I wasn't, I was fine.
And besides, I shouldn't have to owe him any explanations.
When I stormed out of the hotel room I didn't know where to go, so I just went to the car and told the driver to drive.
Somewhere during the hour I was in the car I caught a glimpse of the beach and had him take me there.
I got out of the car and walked across the pavement until I came to the sand and took off my shoes.
The first step I took felt like heaven.
The sand between my toes and the smell of the saltwater in the air relaxed me immediately but also brought tears to my eyes.
I missed home.
I pulled out my phone and took a picture of my feet in the sand with the ocean on the horizon and shared it.
Not moments after I did Ashton called.
I declined the call which I knew would only piss him off but at this point I didn't care.
This week had been a roller coaster and I felt like today had been the part of the ride where we went upside down.
Wrapping my arms around my legs I leaned my head on my knees, closing my eyes and breathing in the fresh air.
I had to be completely honest with myself, this fight was a long time coming.
Ashton was this way about everything, always pushing and pressing and asking non stop questions until he got the answer he wanted, but not this time.
I mean...how could I admit something to him that I couldn't even admit to myself?
When I looked down I could see Ashton calling me again but I ignored it and looked back at the ocean.
I had left my home for him, and this was what I got?
The sound of my text going off made me groan and I picked my phone up to read what Ashton had sent me.
'Just tell me where you are and I'll stop calling.'
'Beach.' I texted back and dropped my phone.
I wanted to be alone, but then again I didn't. Maybe I just didn't want to be with Ashton at the moment.
I could call Ari but I knew the reason Ashton had gone into the hallway earlier was to call her, I wasn't stupid.
There was Jason but he was on Ari's side.
I could ask one of the boys to come meet me but that was a fight with Ashton I didn't feel like having.
Becca. I would call Becca.
"Hey!" She answered on the second ring. "What's up superstar?"
"Hey, um are you busy right now?"
"If by busy you mean eating ice cream and watching Netflix then yes, I'm dreadfully busy." She joked.
"Want to hang out?"
"Sure! Oh you can come over here and we can have like a girls day! It will be so much fun! I'll send you my address!"
Once she did I sat there for a few more minutes before going back to the car to have him take me to Beccas.
He drove me to a high rise apartment building downtown where I got out and went inside, going up to the third floor and finding apartment 312.
I knocked on the door and moments later a make up free Becca answered the door in sweats and a tee shirt.
"Hi!" She embraced me with a wide smile. "Come in!"
I followed her inside, walking in to a small space. Her apartment was very simple yet cute.
There was a little kitchen, a living area with a sofa and television, and then a bedroom off to the side.
"So what has you all by your lonesome today?" She asked me as we both sat down on the white sofa.
"I just needed to get away for a little bit." I responded.
"Uh oh, a fight with the fiancé?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Are you psychic?" I laughed.
"No, it's just written all over your face." She smiled. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"I guess...I don't know, he just- sometimes he can just be so...so..."
"Aggravating?" Becca filled in the blank and I nodded.
"I just wish that he would leave well enough alone, but he always wants everything to be fixed or discussed when it doesn't need to be."
She nodded.
"He's the sweetest guy in the world, he really is, just sometimes he can be a bit overbearing and pushy and I don't like that."
"I understand." She gave me a comforting smile. "Sometimes it's best to just take a breather. You and Ashton have been through a lot in just this past week alone, I think you both need a little time to be with yourselves. It's hard for a couple to be around each other that much, everyone needs their space."
"Exactly." I sighed. "But the moment I say space Ashton freaks out and thinks I want to break up. We tried before and it just ended up a disaster. Ender was pissed and ran away from home and I was a mess and yeah...space doesn't really work for us."
Becca reached over to take my hand.
"Carter, I've really only gotten to know you this week, but from what what I've seen and observed, there is a lot of pressure on you. Everyone expects something of you and you're the type of person who wants to please everyone, but sometimes it's more important to please yourself first."
"Yeah." I nodded. "It's just with Ender and Gracie they've been so emotionally rocky lately and I've had to deal with that and I can't focus on myself until they are all taken care of."
Becca sat there for a moment and I could see the wheels turning in her head.
"What if you started a mommy blog?" She suggested.
"A mommy blog?"
"Yeah! You can create a blog and use it to talk about being a young parent in this industry. I think people would love it and it could also be a good outlet for you to get your emotions out."
"A mommy blog..." I pondered the idea. "I like it!"
After this Becca pulled out her laptop and we created a blog for me.
"I'm excited to see what you post." She smiled once we were all done.
I spent the rest of my day at Becca's, cooking in her kitchen, watching television, laughing at stories and telling each other about our lives.
Honestly this had been what I needed. I felt like Becca and I had really bonded today and I loved spending time with her. She was so funny and kind and made me feel like I wasn't alone.
But eventually it got late and I knew Ashton would be sending out the search party if I didn't go back soon, so I thanked Becca for a fun day and had the car bring me back to the hotel, fully knowing I had Ashton's lecture to look forward to.
--
I'm going to do a double update today so I'll have the next part up soon!
Also, SURPRISE but I have a new Calum fic up called Lighting In A Bottle that you can go check out and I'll be posting the next update for that soon!
Comment and vote!
Much love xx -M