A/N: I'm so sorry guys...
...
The first thing I noticed as I came into consciousness was that I was sore. Everywhere. Especially in my nether regions. So achy that I could hardly move. Of course, the something on top of me didn't make it any easier.
I slowly opened my eyes. The something was black haired and part of her back was left exposed by the covers. Little glints of invisible chord appeared on the seam of the girl's injuries. Wait. This wasn't my bed- and Hazel always wore something over her wounds.
The memories of last night came back to me. Ugh. That girl has serious stamina. After she'd (easily) coaxed me into a two digit number of rounds of sex (only her to me though, I was too exhausted to return the favor after the third or so consecutive orgasm the little devil gave me), I remember blacking out right at the peak of another climax. Hazel, regardless of what she did while I was unconscious, was laying on her belly beside me, using my arm as a pillow, her arms around my neck, making her petite chest pop out at me. I noticed some reddish substance around certain parts of her wounds, realizing it was dried blood soon after. I guess last night wasn't just too much for me...
"Morning, baby..." I whispered, putting my free arm behind my head. I felt Hazel's arm twitch slightly, moving up my chest to one of my breasts, squeezing and caressing it lazily.
"Morning." She sighed, a smirk on her lips as she toyed with my chest.
"Zel, stop it, I'm too sore for another round." I chuckled but let her keep touching me.
"I'm sure." She mused, pulling her arms under her to prop herself up. "You passed out last night." She reminded me, smiling. She was being very adorable this morning and, no lie, I fell in love with it.
"Because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself!" I teased, kissing her lightly. "I, unlike you, am only human. I get tired." I added, running my hand over her jaw. She was so damn beautiful. The morning light filtered in through her windows and lit up her face. Her messy hair.
"Grace?" Hazel frowned worriedly at my silence. Aww she cared.
"I love you, baby..." I didn't realize I'd let the words slip. When I did, I froze and slowly brought my eyes to meet my girlfriend's. Hazel looked at me in shock and subtle horror.
"What?" She breathed. Oh no. No, that wasn't a good sign... The walls went up in her eyes, blocking me out. She stiffened, I knew she was close to fighting or fleeing the reality of the situation. Either way she made it clear that she did not want me in love with her.
"Nothing- never mind." I swallowed the intense heartbreak at her rejection.
"What did you say to me?" Hazel pressed roughly. Why couldn't she let it go? I get it, she wasn't ready, so why can't she just ignore it? "Grace." She hammered again at my resolve. I sighed helplessly.
"I'm in love with you, Hazel!" I snapped, my heart pounding in my chest, not ready for the second rejection I knew would come.
"Stop." She retorted. "I don't want you to be in love with me! Stop being in love with me!" She got a strange look of panic, desperation, confusion, and resentment in her eyes, not at all what I'd wanted or expected from her.
"Well it's not like I can help it, Zel!" I tried again to suppress my hurt, knowing that she was probably just confused with the idea of me reserving an emotion for her.
"Get dressed." She hissed, turning her back to me. That had to mean something, right? She trusted me enough to show me her scars? Even if it wasn't enough, I'd take what I could at this point.
I, painfully, threw the covers off me, wincing when I had to swing my legs off the bed. When I hauled myself onto them, I immediately felt a falling sensation.
Crap.
Thud.
Ouch.
"Dammit." I groaned, string to stand up again. I glanced over at Hazel, even when my instincts told me I shouldn't. And they were right. She showed no reaction to the sound, the idea that I may be in pain. And God, it hurt like a bitch.
"H-" I tried, my eyes stung.
"Dressed. Now." She grumbled back. Now I felt tears threatening to spill. I scurried around to find my underwear (which Hazel had thrown somewhere). "Grace..." She growled again.
"I'm working on it, okay?!" My voice cracked a little. Hazel stiffened but said nothing. Eventually I found my underwear and went to hide in the bathroom, not daring to look at my reflection. God, what did I do wrong?!
I crawled into my clothes, choking at the realization that I was more comfortable surrounded by Hazel's scent than my own. That I loved her more than I loved my own self. That I needed her and she was pushing me away again.
Once clothed and my hair made presentable, I slowly forced myself to face Hazel. Only, she wasn't in bed. Her clothes weren't on the floor. She wasn't in the room... I was alone. I bit my lip harshly, ignoring the equally sharp ache I was causing- having been thoroughly bruised by Hazel's affections last night.
If only I'd kept my mouth shut. I was warned. Megan told me she wasn't ready. Every person who'd known Hazel longer than I had showed skepticism regarding Hazel's emotional capacity. And I, stupidly, believed I knew her better. What an idiot I must be to think I know Hazel better than her triplet sister?
"Hazel?" I called weakly. My lower lip was close to trembling, my eyes almost spilled over with tears, every part of my being just aches to take back what I'd said and still be on better terms with her. I'd forgotten how utterly miserable it was to be genuinely afraid of the black haired girl. I wanted to curl up in a corner and just sob until she came and fixed me. And maybe I was taking her hints too far, maybe she was just in shock... But still... The girl I was madly in love with blatantly rejected my love. Unclothed, stripped bare, vulnerable, and she hit me right where I was weakest.
"Here." She growled faintly from downstairs. Oh god, what have I done? I forced my sobs down again, biting back my tears so I could face her. I made my way down to her, slowly, dreading the inevitable confrontation.
"Hey..." I stared at her scowling face, guarded eyes, body language that read anything but amorous. She shook her head, a scary frustration in her eyes. Regardless of the fact I knew, somewhere in me, even if it was a false belief, that she had the best intentions... That look was awful.
"I don't know how to go about this... But I will not lie to you. I do not love you. I do not have an emotional attachment to you. Had I known you were being led on by an assumption you were wrong in promoting, I would not have allowed anything that happened between us last night." She stated, staring at the ground. She didn't even look me in the eye- she didn't even look at me when she dealt the crushing blow.
"I just thought-" I tried, my voice close to cracking again. Hazel's eyes flashed with anger, and now she met my stare with a searing power.
"You thought wrong, Grace. I don't want your love. I didn't want to complicate this with your feelings- feelings that I simply do not have for you!" She curled her hands into fists, holding them up and then bringing them down on nothing but air. "Whatever you've done to me, I don't want it. I didn't ask for it. Stop it." My mouth moved like a fish out of water, and hot liquid started to trail down my face despite my best efforts. "Stop it. Just stop it. Whatever you're doing to make me feel- just stop!" She gave me one final, blame-filled, frantic, desperate, furious look before she put up all of her defenses, taking a few deep breaths, and calmly made her way to the stairs. "I think it would be best if you leave." She forced out flatly and proceeded to return to her room, slamming the door.
I was left shattered.
I gasped for breath.
What had just happened?
All I knew was that my heart was utterly destroyed. I think I just lost my girlfriend... My love... My soulmate... My all... God, why did I have to say anything?!
With perfect timing, the front door clicked open, and I didn't have the willpower to turn around and find out who it was.
"Grace?" And I knew. The thick accent gave it away. "You don't seem alright. Where is-"
"Can you please just drive me home?" I whispered, cutting her off.
"Of course." I could feel her scowl on me, but I was glad neither of us spoke up on it.
I stiffly followed her back out to her car, barely containing myself, but also draining away any tether I had. I tried to sink into a shell to save myself, but it was really stupid of me to try and hide from my own self. I was in love with Hazel. So in preserving myself, I knew I'd be trapped with my need for her. How quickly the best moment of my life could become the worst momentary eternity.
"Do you want to talk?" Jamine asked gently as she started the car.
"No..." I breathed.
"Okay." She glanced over at me with a sad smile.
...
The drive was long and quiet. Only the din of my head kept me occupied. First, with the question of where I could run to. Marley was bound to be with Micha... Which would be great if I didn't risk walking in on their private time or the aftermath thereof. Robyn... She didn't know the whole story... Cael didn't really get me like my girl friends did... So... I told Jamine to take me to Tatiana's house. Running to my ex with problems of my- what was Hazel to me now? Another ex? God, anything but that... I wanted her to be my forever... Stupid, Grace...
Jamine pulled into Tatiana's driveway, but kept the doors locked a moment more.
"Are you sure you are okay?" The Fairy put a hand on my cheek, touching one of the tears I wasn't aware I'd let fall.
"No." I choked, a pathetic, lunatic, heartbroken, mad laugh escaped my lips. No, of course I wasn't okay! My soulmate just broke me!
"I understand you do not want to speak to me, but I want good luck for you. Whatever she did, I hope it will be made up." She gave me a sympathetic look, kissing my cheek in a friendly way.
"Thank you." I murmured, staggering out of her car and to the Levisons' doorway. I hit the doorbell once before waiting. I didn't want to wake the parent Levisons, and besides, I knew Ana to be an early riser.
"Grace?" The girl did come to the door, a worried look on her face. "Are you okay?" She brought me inside. The tears started falling. By the time she sat me on her bed, I was in absolute hysteria. Somehow, I did manage to sputter out my story, mentioning the fact that I'd slept with Hazel but not getting into detail for her sake and mine. When I was done, she hugged me and didn't let go for a long while. So I just cried. And cried. Cried until the tears were dry, but not enough to ease my pain.
**
*hides in fort* don't kill me!
Part 1 is officially over. Next update will be intro to part 2...
Sorry....
It killed me to do this....
Reeeeeeeeaaalllllyyyyyy sorry :(