Surprises
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ROSELYN
Car rides back home were.. quiet.
I sat in the backseat once again— there were no shortcuts, no Bryson Tiller. Instead low hyms of Lauryn Hill and constant paparazzi; I couldn't say things were as they were before because paparazzi harrassment was never this terrible, and people never used to look at me the way they do now.
Was it pity? Maybe.
Was it weariness? Definitely.
JJ: I'm gonna to be out late tonight. You don't have to wait up for me, Rosie! Love you— stay safe alr?
And Jeremiah never left my condo to stay at a hotel like he planned— or left New York in general.
He was already paranoid over me before, now after it happened I knew he wasn't going anywhere.
I can't say it was as miserable now though— Jeremiah actually gave me space (in his own way).
ROSELYN: Alright, don't get into to trouble JJ and you be safe too
I looked up from my phone as Alistair pulled into the parking lot.
I had work to do— so much work to do. I needed to release this next collection no matter what. I had the vision, it is in production yet—
"— Miss Sawyer, we're here." Alistair voice cut through my thoughts.
I sighed, "Yeah, alright." My focus fell to my phone again.
ROSELYN: I love you too
I was trying to get better at that.
Alistair got out of the car and went around to open my door.
I stepped out onto the concrete and adjusted my skirt— I asked in a low voice, "Have you been doing your own diggin' on R?"
Alistair shut the car door behind me and nodded, "Of course, Miss Sawyer— but it's.. difficult now that the police are officially involved."
"I know that." I said as I began to walk towards the entrance of the building.
"Miss Sawyer," Alistair groaned while he jogged over to catch up to me. "..maybe we should let the police deal with it now? You gave the police everything you know so—" He paused and looked at me with squinted eyes. ".. you did give the police everything, right?"
I folded my arms under my chest and avoided his gaze— stepping onto the side walk.
"Miss Sawyer, what didn't you give them—"
"— Nothin' important, Alistair," I snapped as I faced him with a heavy frown. ".. why would I hold anythin' back that matters? Really— do you think I want R to put a bullet in you next?"
"Miss Sawyer.."
"You never questioned me before, Alistair— no one ever questioned me before.. not until recently," I pointed out with a sigh. I look past Alistair and see an unfortunately familiar stranger leaning against the wall of the building on his phone. ".. And I can't go an hour without noticing one of Parker's goons on my ass!" The man glances at me and scurries off around the corner.
"It's been what? Almost a week.. R hasn't done shit and thats not a good thing," I explained. ".. R wants me to get comfortable, to put everything in the polices hands— all so they can get me when my gaurd is down. But I don't care how long R wants to play this game 'cause it's not going down, so Alistair," I repeated as I raised my brow. ".. you're going to keep diggin' and never question me again, right?"
Alistair scratched his neck and looked me in my eyes— he said, "Yes, Miss Sawyer."
I hummed, "Good," I gestured towards the door and Alistair held it open for me. ".. and I do.. apologize for throwin' you back in this position so suddenly."
I greeted the woman behind the desk briefly, while Alistair walked with me towards the elevator.
He replied, "It's alright, Miss Sawyer. You need protection, and I'll be that for you until this is resolved."
The elevator doors parted and we stepped inside.
I pressed the button with my floor number and muttered, ".. I know but this isn't your job."
Alistair scoffed, "I'm your assistant, Miss Sawyer," There was slight jolt as the elevator began to travel upwards. ".. and these past few days I've assisted in making sure you were safe."
I sighed, "You're fightin' so hard not to get a bonus."
".. Miss Sawyer, I don't need that—"
"— Ah," I raised a finger. ".. what did you say you were going to do Alistair?" I questioned.
"Never question you again."
I hummed, "Exactly." The elevator halted and after a moment the doors parted again.
I was glad I'd have a couple hours to myself— a minute to sit, a minute to think, to smoke.
I needed a cigarette, weed, something right now because that part of my brain itched those were the only two things that good give it a decent scratch.
I dug around my purse for my keycard as we walked the hall.
I had finally, after long and hard consideration, gave Jeremiah a spare key because our scheduales rarely aligned now and I was tired of waking up to let him in. And by key it was an actual key that would be returned to me once he would get out (he didn't deserve the privilege of a keycard).
We reached my front door, and I held up my keycard over the scanner— I said, "Thank you, Alistair. You get home safe and— oh.. how are you and Harley?"
His cheeks quickly flushed red. "Miss Sawyer.." He grumbled.
"What? Your day today ended the minute I unlocked this door so right now.. professionalism has nothing to do with it." I said simply.
"Why does it matter—"
"— Because I don't want to be surprised. I can't do surprises anymore.." I explained.
"Well I don't know, Miss Sawyer," Alistair told me. ".. and I don't intend to surprise you— really."
"Alright then, goodnight." I huffed as I opened the front door.
"Goodnight, Miss Sawyer— stay here, please." He said.
I stepped inside. "I have no reason to leave, Alistair." I murmured before I shut the front door.
I locked it before I let out a sigh and leaned against it— slipping out of my heels.
I could hear the living room TV so Jeremiah must've left it on— that and the lights were on too. Only dimly lit, thank God, instead of completely on.
I walked out from the main entrance into the main area a slight hesitant— was someone else here? R— no.. no definitely not.
I had to get over this; I've forgotten what a good nights sleep felt like—
"— Roselyn.. baby."
I was wrong; I now had a reason to leave.
"What are you doing here," I stood still— staring with furrowed brows and clenched fists. ".. Momma?"
She looked at me with a look of offense— I could see the stress in her skin.
My Momma always kept herself presentable every single day; she raised me like that as well. 'Never let them see that they effect you, Roselyn,' Momma would tell me. 'You walk with confidence— because you know unlike them.. you have somewhere to come back too, baby.'
So who effected her now? To make her sit alone in my home with bags under her slender eyes, a deep frown, and a look in her eyes that was surprisingly not anger.
"What am I doing here? My daughter could've died 'nd I couldn't even get one call from her? Not one, Roselyn," She stood up on her feet and hurt seeped through her voice. ".. your brother had to call me— he told me, he let me in."
I stared off to the side. ".. Is Daddy here with you too? He hidin' in my closet or something?" I scoffed— fumbling through my purse for my cigarettes.
"Roselyn Maryanne Sawyer, can you at least look at me," She sighed. "Look at your Momma.."
I found pack and pulled one out along with my lighter.
I placed the cigarette between my lips and lit it— my gaze finally meeting her own.
Before I breathed in the thick smoke I muttered, "You could've lectured me over the phone, Momma—"
"— You never used to do that," She walked around the couch and came over to me— I blew smoke from my mouth and nostrils. ".. you used to hate them cigarettes— the smell. You.. You don't even talk the same no more; we used to call you our Southern Belle down in Mississippi." Momma pointed out— her nostrils flared at the smell of smoke.
"Your accent can change when you've lived somewhere for over a decade, Momma.. and the cigarettes— look, you're lecturing me again." I groaned— taking in another breath.
"You are my daughter, Roselyn.. Lord help me," She rubbed her temple— her frown deepening. ".. what did your Dad and I do? You.. just stop taking to us once your company started goin' somewhere."
I pulled cigarette from my between lips and sighed— burning it out on the marble counter of the bar and letting it go.
"You really don't know," I mumbled. ".. really Momma?"
"How am I supposed to? You don't tell me anythin' Roselyn! Did I say the wrong thing? Miss the wrong call? I don't know—"
"— You and Daddy did nothin'," I blurted out. ".. not a damn thing! Y— You stuck around that town for what? They hated us! The same ones who sprayed water at Grandmama when she was little, who threw rocks at your bicycle when you were little, they were our neighbors.. and their children went to school with me and JJ and did the same thing but less obvious! I'm not mad at then.. I just hate the fact that JJ and I became so successful yet you and Daddy wouldn't let us get you both out."
Momma stared at me wide eyes— I could see the tears hidden beneath that unnatural glisten.
She muttered, ".. Roselyn—"
"— It's not even that though because.. I get it. You grew up there," I sighed— my body relaxing as her hand touched my forearm gently. I had forgotten what she felt like— how warm she was. ".. it's how you and Daddy just.. acted it like it never happened. Once JJ and I became who we are them people claimed us so quickly— doin' news after news interview, and you two just let them. I bet they treat you and Daddy great now, but they're still thinking them same thoughts," I tapped on my forehead. ".. in here."
I pulled my arm away and brushed past her— taking a seat on the couch.
I stared down at my lap and hid my face in my hands.
That was true— and it was a decent reason for how I've acted over the years. But I think I took my Momma's advice too literally because I found myself using it with her too.
But still, even after Canopy of Crystal started to gain traction I talked her— a lot actually.
I know what really happened— what pushed me away from her, from Jeremiah, from everyone.
Through the corner of my eye I could see Momma sit down next to me. And after a minute she placed her hand on my back and rubbed it slowly— just like she used to when I was young.
".. Someone died, Momma, a long time ago," I admitted underneath my breath. ".. and I wanted to disappear 'cause I ruined lives— but I promised that someone that I'd stick it out.. 'cause they saw somethin' in me, somethin' I couldn't see."
She didn't speak— only listened while I breathed shakily.
"And then.. it almost happened again," I couldn't stop the tears as they fell from eyes— the 'them' that I couldn't let see that they got to me.. that wasn't my Momma. ".. and this time.. it really is my fault. If I get help from them I lose them, and if I do it alone with them there I might lose them too— so I'd rather be completely alone. It's better that way.."
Momma pulled me close— our shoulders were pressed right against each others.
She sighed, "This young man.. the one who saved your life— I've seen him on the news."
I lower my hands and look over at her. "What?"
".. His name is what? Dominic Pierce? Did you know— oh.. look there he is," Momma pointed out— I looked at the TV and there he was. A mugshot that was clearly from when Dominic was younger. ".. they said he was the son of a millionaire and beat his father, the CEO, into a coma which got him arrested. Poor baby walked in on his Momma gettin' beat by that sicko and lost it— by how many tears I've just seen you shed over him just now I assume he's a good man." She explained to me.
That's what happened?
All that time— those weird looks, his distance.
He acted like what he did was something unforgiving yet.. that's what it was? If he just told me that the day of the interview I wouldn't have given a damn, but at the same time I can't act mad— I wasn't a woman to pry where I wasn't welcomed.
"And what does the press say about it?" I muttered.
Momma mumbled, "Baby, you don't need that negativity.."
"Just tell me, Momma." I sighed as I sat up straight and dried my eyes with my sleeve.
"It's not really him.. it's more you," She explained. ".. I'm sure you had the same opinion as me since you hired the man, but he was convicted of aggravated assult so not everyone thinks about his situation the way we do.. the media is already starting to let their real opinion slip about you hiring a convicted felon."
I rolled my eyes. "Why am I surprised?" I scoffed.
Momma reached for the TV remote and turned it off.
I let my eyes fall closed as I confessed, "I hear him when I sleep.. sometimes— ever since this incident happened."
"Dominic Pierce?"
I shook my head; I corrected, "No, I see Dominic.. but I hear him. I can never get a goods nights sleep now.. every night I see Dominic laying in that alley— just bleeding out. While he talks to me; I don't even remember his voice but I know it's him.. or his face— my mind even blocked out that entire night."
That's when I felt Momma's arms wrap around me before she pulled me into a tight embrace.
I wasn't sure what do at first after a moment I hugged her back— one her hands petting my hair.
"We'll figure this out.. I'm so sorry, baby," She murmured— her voice started to wobble. ".. I should've came to Manhatten a long time ago— both your Dad and I."
I chewed on my bottom lip and whispered, "His name was.. Stefano," My voice grew even softer. ".. Stefano Basilio.."
Momma pulled back and cupped my face— her thumb traced over the wetness of my cheek. "You grew up to be such a strong woman— I'm so proud of you, Roselyn.. you've been through so much. Too much." She smiled, forreal, for the first time this since this conversation started.
"I'm sorry.. I," I cleared my throat— my gaze left hers once more. ".. I've missed you, Momma."
Momma huffed, "I've missed you too, baby," She tilted her head to meet my eyes again. ".. now I'm goin' to make you some coffee and you're goin' to go get all cleaned up— after that we're goin' to to catch up. And you'll tell me everything you're ready and willing to tell me."
"Yeah," I smiled softly. "I think I'd enjoy that."
2,565 words
CHAPTER FIFTY
why do all my characters have mommy issues.. i swear i don't have them
no alarms; no surprises
D.. DOUBLE UPLOAD?! Do you guys forgive me...