The Base
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DOMINIC
"Ya need to regain yur strength, Dominic."
With one arm, Matteo nudged the bowl of chicken broth at me like I was some child. With the other he held Zeno like he weighed nothing.
I wasn't in the mood to eat- I was trying to figure out my course of action from here on out.
"I'll be alright, Matteo," I murmured right as Becca returned to my room. ".. missing one meal won't kill me."
"Who said anythin' about it killing ya-"
"- Hush it, Matty," Becca huffed while she shut the door behind her. ".. and ya too Dominic! Ya talk too easy about death- ya know how much I worried when Simon called Matteo?"
I sighed, "I'm sorry about that, Becca."
"The way ya are isn't yur fault," She said as she pushed over the hospital bowl and set down a steaming container of her chicken noodle soup. ".. all of us had a part to play."
I opened the container and took one of the plastic spoons.
"You all talk like I'm some lost cause." I muttered before a took a sip of the broth.
"That's not what I mean.. I feel like we didn't try enough. Ya missed out on so much of yur life, Dominic." She mumbled.
"I left you all when I was nineteen, and I came back a twenty-five year old man. I know you two still see as that kid- I'm not a kid though. I know I've seen enough to not be considered one," I paused and both Matteo and Becca gave each other a glance. ".. you two aren't my parents.. you know that right?"
Matteo blinked for a moment before he nodded, "Course I do- I got my boy right here." He lifted up Zeno with both hands and the boy giggled happily.
Becca scoffed, "Of course I know that- those two are enough for me.. and I'm not that much older than ya," She pursed her lips together. ".. ya have a mother, and I think ya should see her.."
"She doesn't need me," I murmured and ate some more soup. ".. don't even bring up Valerie either."
"But do ya need yur Mom, Dominic? Because I think ya do." Becca hummed.
That was a stupid question.
"Zio Dominic.. I uhm," Zeno kicked playfully for Matteo to set him down, and Matteo did what was asked of him. The little boy reached for his Spider-Man backpack off of the recliner and pulled out a paper. ".. I made ya a thingy.." He spoke softly compared to his parents.
I looked at Matteo and he shrugged- Becca looked equally as confused.
Zeno walked up to my hospital bed and handed me a yellow card. The handwritting was in green crayon and Zeno tried his best to spell- it read 'Git Well Soon Domenick!. He drew a litttle picture of me (I think) as a superhero on the front and on the inside of the card it was a big smiley face and signed 'From Zeno!'.
I was never a really fatherhood kind of guy.. that or I never really thought I'd have a chance to be one.
I don't think I'd be good at it, but I think wouldn't be terrible because I knew what terrible was, and also, for some odd reason this kid saw me as a hero.
"Thanks, Zeno," I smiled- that was only card I got. I didn't think about it too much but it was, and I was fine with that. ".. you think I'm a hero?"
"Ya fight bad guys! Go pew pew.. yur like Spider-Man!"
I snickered, "Yeah?"
Zeno nodded enthusiastically.
"My baby is so sweet," Becca practically scooped Zeno up into her arms. He giggled and hugged her. ".. it came from your Ma, hm?"
Becca needed Zeno and Zeno needed her- it was a stupid question if I needed my Mama. Of course I did- I needed her more times than I could count. That wasn't what mattered though; maybe Mama did want me back in her life but she didnt need me there.
Becca and Zeno weren't like us- he was a good kid; a kid who didn't cause a problem for anyone.
She didn't spend nights crying because of him- he didn't mess her up; he instead made her a better person like a child should.
".. Are ya hungry, Zeno?" Matteo asked suddenly though his focus was stuck on me.
"Yeah, Papa!" The boy nodded.
Matteo then dug through his wallet and handed Becca some money.
"Get ya and Zeno something to eat from downstairs, baby." He told her.
"Mkay, Matty," She kissed his cheek. "do ya want anythin'..?"
"I'm alright, cuore mio." He hummed, and Becca set Zeno down.
The boy held her hand and waved goodbye like he was going away for a while before they left my hospital room.
I looked at Matteo with a raised brow before he set Zeno's backpack on my floor and took a seat in the recliner.
"What're ya thinkin' about Dominic?"
I scoffed, "What am I not thinking about?" I continued to eat my soup.
Matteo scrached his chin. "True.. haven't seen Roselyn Sawyer around here." He sighed.
I stared off to the side. "Yeah I'm unemployed right now."
"..What- she fired you?"
I only nodded.
"Fuck, Dominic.. I'm sorry," Matteo paused. ".. ya always have a job with me, ya know that." He reminded me.
"I know, Matteo."
There was silence for a moment before Matteo spoke.
"Ya know that I'm not the best talker.. and we made it clear that m'nothing close to a Dad to ya. And before ya graduated I was fine with the closest thing to fatherhood in my life was it just being ya.. but then I seen ya- all dressed up in a cap 'n gown with yur Ma. And I remembered the nights Becca would help us both when we were stumped with yur homework," He chuckled lightly. ".. but when yur father showed up- the man you hated, and we both already knew I couldn't fix anything he broke. It was beyond Becca and me. Right then I realized I wouldn't be all that fine with not feeling what I felt then for a kid of my own."
I snickered, "I thought Zeno was an unexpected surprise."
"He was," Matteo scoffed. ".. doesn't mean he wasn't also a pleasant surprise though- so thank ya for that."
"Are you tryin' to say I made the Matteo Cattaneo soft?" I joked- taking another sip of the broth.
"Don't word it like that," He frowned. "..m'not an wild animal."
"It's fine- I know you've known me since I was a kid but I'm not a saint," I muttered under my breath. ".. I could never manage to do a single thing right."
"Did ya not just hear that I told ya yur the reason I have a son? Look at Roselyn Sawyer- she's breathing and unharmed because ya did somethin' right." Matteo argued simply.
"I got fired though." I pointed out.
"Because ya scared her." He said.
I looked over at him. "See look-"
"- No not like that.. fuck," Matteo groaned and rubbed his temple. ".. this why m'not the talker- Dominic, ya know I was in some bullshit back when I was younger, and ya don't know how many times Becca left me- not because of what I did but how many times I almost got myself killed. Women aren't a fan of that kind of stress."
"She was my boss not my girlfriend."
"I'm going to be honest with ya- a woman who was crying over ya like that wasn't just yur boss." He murmured.
"You're just as bad as Simon." I sighed.
"And what'd ya tell him?"
I swiped my tongue over my teeth- I poured my heart out to Simon.
"That it doesn't matter now because I don't care about any extra shit- I just need to keep her safe. That's all I want." I explained and continued with my meal.
"Does yur sister know you're here?" He asked suddenly.
"Valerie probably doesn't know I got released or cares," I scoffed. ".. it doesn't matter anyway 'cause she'll know from the news soon enough. Also I'm getting released from here tomorrow."
"Dominic, go see yur sister again."
"Matteo-"
"- Do ya need to see yur Ma?"
Stupid question.
"Becca already asked me that," I set my spoon down and laid flat in my bed. ".. why wouldn't I?" I muttered under my breath.
"I miss my Ma every day, Dominic. God knows I do and the only thing I can do is leaves roses by a gravestone- ya act like yur Ma is gone and she's not," Matteo pointed out. "In reality yur the one who really went away- ya understand?"
I went away? He said like I had a choice- like I wanted too leave them behind.
I didn't.. want to go- I had to.
Fucking fuck- I sound like my father.
"That's not right- y'know what happened-"
"- Ya got yur ass locked up, and yur Ma couldn't handle it all and ended up emitted to an institution. Am I wrong?"
"It's more complicated than that-"
"- Yeah, the entire thing is. I'm talking about right then- the moment that set yur Ma off."
I glared at Matteo- why did I wake up to bullshit. Bullshit convo after bullshit convo.
"It was a build up.. over time," I began- I could feel the anger build up. ".. not just me and what happened right then! I didn't hurt her; it was him-"
I felt my voice fade to silence as I noticed Matteo smile. What was funny? What about this could earn a smile.
"There we go," He chuckled lightly. ".. ya finally said it 'I didn't hurt her'. Ya swear on yur life ya hate yur old man for all he's done, but when it's the most crucial part of it all.. ya always took all of the blame."
"Huh?" I mumbled.
"I don't know if it was ya ending up locked up that made ya think like that. Or the guilt from seeing yur Ma in that way, but ya never admitted it was a build up. He built it up. Ya just happened to remove the base and the whole thing fell apart," He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it tight. ".. yur Ma has been rebuilding that base for six years but it'll never really be complete without ya." Matteo explained.
I murmured, "She has Valerie."
"You're her son, Dominic- her first child. Yur sister can't replace that. And I doubt a young girl like her wants too." He added on.
Valerie was still young but now as I actually thought about it she was twenty.
She was in the 8th grade back then and now look; I missed her high school graduation.
I always knew Valerie felt a certain negative way about me (she never visited me for one), but now I think she might actually hate me.
"You sure you aren't a talker, man?" I scoffed before I let out a quiet sigh.
"Ya think I'm good at it? My Becca says I am too. I don't believe it.. I never was much of a talker," Matteo muttered as he scratched his neck. ".. so you have something figured out?"
I answered, "The easy shit, yeah. But everything else..."
"I will say you're one stubborn man, Dominic," Matteo snickered. ".. a Mama's Boy actually— so I think she's the only one ya won't question."
"At this point in my life," I frowned at the thought of how I acted towards my Mama all that time ago. ".. I'll never question her again."
If I wanted to be where I needed to be for myself and Roselyn I had to tie off loose ends. Not cut off— tied off.
I wanted Valerie in life if she wanted that too— I needed Mama back.
The door to my hospital room was pushed open and Zeno came trotting in with a little McDonalds happy meal. While Becca held a plastic bag from some other resturant.
"Hello boys," She huffed as she carefully pushed the door closed with her heel. ".. go sit with Papa, Zeno."
Matteo lifted Zeno onto his lap— the boy laid against his fathers chest while he eagerly opened up his happy meal box.
I didn't need my father in my life— I just needed someone in that role. I had it in different ways but never completely.
Though it was far too late for it now; all I needed to be satisfied was to see a good kid like Zeno with that.
He deserved it— Matteo and Becca were great to him.
"I got us some buffalo wings from the Wingstop, Matty." Becca told him as she set the bag on his empty thigh and kissed both his and Zeno's forehead.
"I married the right woman." Matteo grinned.
"Oh shut it and eat, Matty," Becca set down a medium Sprite on my lunch table. ".. keep it on the hush, Dominic." She winked.
They were great to each other.
"McDonalds?"
"Now why would I try to kill ya after all ya been through, Dominic."
I smiled slightly— I yearned for this dynamic with my Mama and Valerie.
I doubted things could be the anything close to this pure, but maybe, if everything went perfect, I'd have Roselyn right there next to me too.
Though if I wanted to even get the chance to dream about a life like that I had one place I had to start and I had to do it quick. Every second without me by Roselyn's side the more danger she would be in.
I needed to find Valerie.
2,287 words.
Hey ya'll...
finals next week :(...
we good though!!