Love Is Miserable
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DOMINIC
She really didn't stay that night.
The beams of sunlight along with the shuffling of someone entering my room woke me up. I looked over towards the door, past the empty recliner, and squinted my eyes- that wasn't my nurse or my doctor.
"Did I wake ya?"
I turned away towards the window and muttered, "Roselyn told me that you would bring some of my shit."
"That I did," Simon took a seat in the recliner. ".. you're in a bad mood?"
I scoffed, "Should I be in a good one?"
"Ya aren't dead," Simon sighed. ".. that's one thing to put ya in a good mood."
I swiped my tongue over my dry lips and let my eyes fall shut.
"Roselyn told me that ya were pretty lively yesterday."
"Mm did she now?"
"I guess I should thank ya, kid."
That made me open my eyes.
"For what?" I questioned.
Simon sighed, "For two things- one; saving Roselyn's life," He then added. "and two; openin' the door for my friend to talk to me again."
His friend- to Simon, Roselyn was his friend, but to Roselyn he was there. Simon was never trustworthy no matter how much trust he put in you, but for some reason my gut leaned more towards the concept of friendship. He talked about Roselyn in a way that made my chest twinge because for a man who claims I want to be with her I don't really know her.
"..How close were you two?" I spoke up.
Simon chuckled, "Would ya believe it if I told ya she used to call me by my first name?"
"Oh," I murmured. ".. what the hell happened-"
"- Shit," He spat. ".. just.. shit."
"Stefano," I said as I sat up carefully. ".. you know who that is, don't you.."
The voice faded to quiet as my eyes found Simon's- his expression was.. something I'd never seen from him.
"Don't get involved with that shit, kid-"
"- That 'shit' is the reason I'm in a hospital bed," I argued- my side ached. "that 'shit' almost killed Roselyn! I'll get involved in whatever the fuck I need to, Simon."
Simon clicked his tongue, "It's done and over with, Dominic."
I scoffed, "Did Roselyn not tell you?"
Simon didn't reply.
"Ohhh so she did... so you think I'm an idiot? You can't lie your way into a new fucking narrative- goddamn you piss me off.." I groaned and rubbed my forehead with my fingers.
Simon took off his shades and leamed back in the recliner- his head tilted towards the ceiling as his eyes fell shut.
"I try to live my life with no regrets, kid," He began with a huff. ".. so I rarely ever say sorry to anyone. But damn- ya fuck my head up sometimes, Dominic, 'cause I know I fucked ya up."
"Don't give yourself so much credit.." I mumbled sarcastically.
"Won't ya take me fuckin' seriously? Just once, kid. In all my 32 years in this world I came'ta notice that ya can really see the difference when someone loses the light in their eyes- that innocence. And let me tell ya.. ya didn't loose that shit the night ya got arrested- I could tell it was gone the first time your bullet ever hit a man. So I'm.. sorry- for that."
I pursed my lips together.
Simon Parker never said sorry- at least for as long as I've known him.
"I would've been miserable even if I never did that shit.. I would've been rich, but without a doubt miserable." I admitted.
"So you're miserable?"
I chuckled lightly, "Fortunately for you, I'm not."
Simon's eyes shot open and he looked over at me. "So ya must really hate me if you're not miserable."
"You piss me off- there's a difference." I pointed out.
Simon snickered, "Mm.. it's Roselyn, huh?"
My eyes widened before I asked, "What makes you think that?"
"I mean... why else would ya not be miserable."
I only ever had one friend and to me that was Kirsten.
Simon wasn't reliable enough to be my friend, and I doubt he views me as such because being Simon Parker's friend was a rarity.
I talk shit on top of shit about the guy, but he's the only person I turn to when shit hits the fan. Even Roselyn knew that.
"I have feelings for her- Roselyn." I told him quickly in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
My focus stayed on the thin hospital blankets, while I messed with my wrist band. It was silent until the familiar giggle of Simon began to flow into the room and that giggle turned to a chuckle and that chuckle turned to a fit of laughter.
"It ya that long," He almost choked on his laughter. ".. h- holy shit! Obviously ya do.. oh my god! I'm okay- whoo.. I'm sorry J just.. you're ridiculous man. Both of ya." Simon snickered.
I rolled my eyes before I raised my brow. "Both of us?" I questioned.
Simon composed himself and asked,"Ya don't think Rosie wants ya too?"
I chuckled, "Why would she want me? I'm just her bodyguard-"
"- Ya two don't hide very well that you're fuckin'.."
"Where'd you," I muttered. "..come up with that?"
"The hickeys that I've seen on the both of ya," He added. "Also the day I came by all ya two did was eye fuck each other- especially ya."
No one was supposed to know.
"We're adults so y'know.. I can go out and do shit and so can she-"
"- She's just as bad as a liar than you. The difference is that with Roselyn, she'll slap the shit out of you if you press the issue." Simon sighed with a slight smile.
"You piss me off." I frowned.
Simon chuckled, "So I'm right."
I just ignored him- there was nothing I could say to convince him otherwise, but I wasn't going to confirm it either.
I couldn't give Simon Parker that kind of satisfaction.
".. Have you seen her today?" I asked him.
"Yeah.. ya two definitely fucked."
"Can you answer my question," I scoffed. ".. and I told you I have feelings for her so don't fucking start."
"That bullet changed ya dialect," Simon whistled. ".. but yeah she came by when I was here- thought she was gonna come see ya but she just left."
She left?
Was I too.. snappy yesterday?
I must've pissed her off, but still something wasn't right. Though I knew Roselyn was dealing with a lot because of what happened and things weren't going to be same there was some tension between us- bad tension.
"..Does she know what I did, Simon?"
"I can't say," He admitted. ".. but when your name gets leaked to the press I'm positive she will."
I slowly nodded, "I should tell her when I see her- I'd rather it be me."
"Ya gonna tell her about the other thing." Simon taunted.
"No," I scoffed. ".. that'll fuck everything up."
My name was inevitabley going to be shared to the news- luckily my intial release was kept on the downlow, but there was no avoiding it this time.
I was content with her knowing now as long as it came from me.
"What'd you bring?" I asked him.
Simon lifted up one of my duffle bags that looked to be filled to the brim.
He told me, "Roselyn made a lil list for me- basic things, like I'm stupid or somethin'. But she also said to grab what I know ya need too."
Yeah- she was perfect.
"Sounds like her." I commented.
Simon shook his head.
"No it doesn't," He said simply as he set the duffle bag back down. ".. sounds like a woman that feels a certain way for ya."
I muttered, "You keep pushin' this.. do you want me to be with her or something?"
"Who said that," Simon shrugged. ".. I'm just tired of ya two acting oblivious to something so obvious."
I furrowed my brows and looked right at him- my side was starting throb. "She doesn't want me, Simon," I snapped. ".. all it is.. is l-" I cut myself off. Lust. I couldn't let that slip.
"- What?"
I looked away and murmured, "Nothing," There was a knock at the door. ".. all it is.. is nothing."
Simon looked at me and I looked over at him before I said a quiet 'come in' to whoever it was.
I could see Simon had already had stuffed his hand in his coat pocket where I assume he had his gun.
The door pushed open and in walked Roselyn with Alistair by her side holding open said door.
I looked at his face- it looked.. I couldn't really say but there was more to his expression than our mutual annoyance towards one another.
His hair was half up half down like usual... what was so off about him?
Oh- that suit, he hadn't wore that suit since the day we met.
"Good morning, Roselyn." I said to her- she was back to her professional clothes. She couldn't have been working again so soon.. that just wasn't healthy.
"Good morning." She replied- not even a smile.
I looked her up and down- I could tell by the way her lips glistened she was wearing Apple-Cinnamon once again. Those nails she had just gotten she had removed; were they too much of an reminder of that day?
I wanted Simon and Alistair out, I wanted to really talk with her one on one because something was wrong.
And in those bare hands she held something- well a good amount of paperwork.
Alistair kept his eyes ahead- not on me, not on Roselyn, not on Simon.. just the large window in the distance as Roselyn stood near my bedside closer to him that either Simon or I.
"I've spoken with your doctor and it seems you'll be released in a few days, Pierce," Roselyn sighed as she fumbled with a paper in the stack. ".. your hospital bills have all been accounted for under the name Roselyn Sawyer."
She handed me the paper rather swifty and chewed on her bottom lip as I read over it. I was grateful for her, really, but all I could think was how I had been demoted back to Pierce.
"Roselyn, you didn't have to-"
"- Let me speak, Pierce," She hushed me and I noticed how tight she was starting to grip the next paper. ".. please."
I nodded hesistantly and watched her doe eyes- they were glistening like her glossy lips. The same glisten that inclined for tears.
I wanted to look at Simon because maybe he knew?
But I couldn't take my eyes off of her- if I did maybe I would miss a sign of what was wrong because something was wrong.
"And after... careful consideration,"
She took in a deep breath and let her eyes fall shut for a moment.
And when those doe eyes opened it was like I wasn't who I was to her. I mean I wasn't anything to her- well I was, but nothing like...
"..As CEO, I've decided that I'm releasing you, Dominic Pierce, from your position at Canopy of Crystal."
She talked more after that about payments and such- I could see her lips move with every word but everything went in one ear and out the other.
She fired me?
I could feel my expression shift and thats when her unnerved expression focused more on the papers in her hands. She couldn't hold eye comtact with me- she couldn't do it.
It wasn't until she handed me my resignation form with a pen that I seemed to truly realize what was happening.
"Roselyn, lets talk about this.." Simon pipped in as he stood up from the recliner.
"Ar- Were you my employee, Parker? No, you weren't. This is between Pierce and I." She huffed.
I fumbled with the pen- and looked up at Roselyn.
She still couldn't do it.
"Roselyn," I hummed- there we go, and as stone cold as she looked I knew those eyes. ".. this isn't a choice, is it?"
She pursed her pouty lips, "No.. whether you sign it or not, you've been released from the company under reasons of endangerment to yourself.. or others."
"Do you know?"
"Do I know what, Pierce?"
I simply shook my head and signed my signature. It wasn't because of that.
I wasn't going to fight her over it- or argue and give her a reason to hate me. Because there was no reason of malice for this. And it was going to mess with her.. I knew it was.
"Here," I said as I gave her back the pen and paper. ".. Miss Sawyer."
She swallowed nothing as she looked over it before holding it close to her chest.
"It was a pleasure working with you." She muttered.
"The same to you, ma'am." I murmured.
Roselyn stood for a moment before she looked at Alistair and motioned that it was time to leave.
I didn't watch them walk out- I just listened for the fade of her heels and the click of the door.
There was silence before Simon spoke up, "Kid.."
I laid back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling collecting dust.
"Fucking fuck," I covered my face in my hands and let out a shakey breath. ".. it was actually nothing?" I whispered into my skin.
"Dominic, why'd ya just give in-"
"- I didn't.. fuck.. I can't," I mumbled as I ran my hands through my curls. ".. I just wasn't going to argue with her here because I know how she works."
"You're not goin' to be able to see her again, kid, I know how she works-"
"- Simon, listen.. fuck.. I don't think this is just feelings," I paused. ".. I think I love Roselyn. And she doesn't need to feel remotely close to how I feel I just.. need to stay by her side as her protector. I'm going to get my damn job back to keep her safe, not for romance, but because she's not safe. I can't move on with my life knowing that." I explained in a single breath.
He scoffed, "Well damn you don't care if it's nothing on her end."
"Isn't that what loving someone is?" I questioned.
"Can't tell ya," Simon muttered. ".. you're goin' to find R?"
I shook my head. "No.. I need to figure my shit out before I go back to her- no loose ends from here on out," I then added. ".. I need you to watch her for me, Simon- make sure she's safe."
He chuckled, "M'so glad I'm not in love."
"Is it bad to be satisfied with expecting nothin in return? .. That sounds miserable actually,"
I could still feel the heavyness of the pen in my hand- and I knew why she didn't fire me but it was killing me not knowing why she did.
I was angry, pissed, and definitely betrayed but the intensity of those feelings would fade everytime I thought of her pretty face.
If this was love then it was miserable.
But my misery would be fine if she ended up okay from it all.
".. maybe Roselyn was right, I am insane."
2,542 words.
Hey ya'll... (imma keep saying this)
came back w a banger right ;)
okay bye..