To a special birthday girl
Once Aiko took blakelyn upstairs I flop back down next to shaun. "what was that about."shayla asks me but I just shake my head."nothing." I huff before taking out my weed my grinder and my wrap grabbing a plate I start grinding my weed getting ready to build it. I could feel each individual set of eyes burn into my skull judging me for my choice of drug and event to smoke it at.
"I thought you stopped all that Malik." i look up at my ma as I use my tongue to seal the blunt. I stick the end in my mouth whilst I shrug and fetch for a lighter. "no don't just shrug I'm talking to you boy." she raises her voice.
I take the blunt out of my mouth "ma it's not a big deal it's just weed it's not like I'm sniffing chill." she kisses her teeth. "it's just as bad." i chuckle slightly. "no it's not weed can't kill you." she goes quiet. "but at your daughter first birthday really you gonna her high now so you don't even remember how she reacts to her gifts or presents."
Guilt grows inside of me like thorns on a flower. "i know how it seems but this weeds shit I got it for like 5 dollar it don't even give me the munchies." shaun chuckles but jevicas glare makes him stop.
I light up inhaling causing the end to turn and orangey yellow. I exhale through my nose the smokes fading into the sky. I lean my head back continuing to smoke hoping the high comes quick. I hear heels clicking and I open my eyes looking to see Aiko standing near me. I firery look in her eyes one I've never seen before. As she covers a fussing blakelyns mouth.
"cut that shit out now." she says sternly. I roll my eyes taking the bud out of my mouth and putting it out on the plate I was ashing on. I didn't even get to smoke more than half of it so the high I was so desperately trying to chase isn't gonna come.
"I'm so sorry Monique could you just take Blake for a second I know she's all fussy right now so I don't apologise." She hands blakelyn to my ma. Before walking back to me grabbing my arm and pulling me out the chair and dragging me like a child out of the kids section in Walmart and into the house. Once we get out of site she shoves my chest hard.
"ow" I rub my chest. "what the fuck were you thinking Malik. On your daughter 1st birthday. And you gonna smoke weed something you told me you were gonna stop doing when I was pregnant." i kiss my teeth. "it's not that serious for fuck sakes." she shoves me again.
"yes it fucking is Malik it's drugs just because it's not hardcore drugs it's still drugs it's still illegal and you can still get arrested for having it do you not understand that if you get arrested you can do time you already have a criminal record now. You will do time you won't see Blakelyn and I will have to raise her by myself not just that you don't understand how doing weed can kill you you may not die of overdose but you can die hella early because of it yet again leaving you fucking daughter devastated about her dad."
I scratch the back of my head."alright I'm sorry." she shakes her head. "no the fuck your not cause you will just go outside and smoke the rest of that blunt." i smirk knowing shes not wrong but she shoves my chest once again "no don't smirk this isn't funny. Why do you thinks it's ok to smoke weed around your daughter or in the same house as your daughter knowing that she spent the first 11 months of her life in the nicu for her lungs and heart go knows what could happen to her if the chemicals from inside a blunt got into her fucking lungs because of second hand smoking. She could go back to hospital let alone die. Do you not understand thay Malik." she says using her hands to emphasise her words.
It settles into me of what the fuck I've just done putting my daughters life in jeopardy like that. Fuck...." I'm so sorry Aiko OK please believe I wasn't thinking like that at all and it's stupid of me I won't smoke the rest of that blunt I promise." She nods excepting my apology. "are you high." i shake my head truthfully. "are you gonna be high later on." i repeat the action I've just done.
"good because if you were I wasn't gonna allow you to be near blakelyn think about that before you try to do any type of drug." She turns around sassyly before walking off her ass looking way to good in that dress as it hugs every single curve she owns
When we walk back down everyone was settle with a plate of food except for my mom who was dealing with a crying Blakelyn. Aiko grabs grabs blakelyn off my ma trying everything to calm her down. "sorry about that Monique you can go her some food sorry for letting miss fuss stop you." Aiko gives a genuine smile to my ma and my ma walks towards the grill piling on food.
I set across and a few seats down from Aiko In my old seat. Music blast through the speakers as I tidy away my weed."did you get your ass whooped by your baby ma then." shanice turns her attention to me even though my sister was talking to her.
I scoff at her a little grin on my face but I just shake my head. "so you did." Brent add on. "nah just gave me a realisation fhag all." i head a loud whine and I see a crying blakelyn kicking her feet and arching her back trying to get out of Aikos grip.
"blakelyn" i say in a stern but soft voice my eyebrow arched and my 1 year old looks to me tiredness frustration and sadness laced on her eyes as shes being held by her arms as she try to her down from aikos lap.
Had enough aikos puts her down "OK fine go to dada then go." she tells Blakelyn who sits on the grass by aikos feet crying and throwing a tantrum. She starts to crawl to me and I bend down my hand out for her to grab and balance herself and stands up. I walk slowly with her to the grill. She can't walk by herself but if someone is holding her and she will walk.
Who knew a one year old could be so sad on there first birthday.