I stayed over Renzo's last night since he doesn't want me at the apartment while Rylee-Steven is around. The man now knows that we know who he is. I'm worried about what might happen now that he does.
Nothing good will come of this. He's a cop. Renzo told me not to worry about it, but honestly the thought of the FBI looking into any of us has me really freaked out. I'm now associated with the mob. That's why Rylee targeted me, because I'm the easy obvious choice to get to Renzo.
I don't want to be on some watch list. What if they dug deep enough and took us all down? Even me. I've killed someone.
I think about Dante's father and how he'll be behind bars for the rest of his life. He wasn't even able to attend his own son's funeral. That's tragic. I can't go to prison. I would destroy my family. They'd be devastated. And as my parents age and life goes on I wouldn't be able to be there for them if they were sick. I couldn't attend their funerals. I couldn't see Mya grow up.
I'd be in a cage with other women who have committed just as terrible crimes, but I'm too kind for prison. I'll be killed by day one. I don't want that life for Renzo or Dante either. I don't want any of it. I just want Rylee-Steven to go away. He might ruin everything.
I shivered at all the horrible scenarios playing out in my head. I was in the middle of my pottery class, and look where my head's at?! I shook my mind clear and focused my foot on the peddle, which controls the spinning disk the clay is on. If the clay is too dry you wet your hand in the bowl of water. If it's too wet it won't shape very well. I think I've finally made a vase that isn't ridiculous.
My pottery teacher is a man with a french-type accent I'm not 100% convinced is real. I told Abbie about it and she cracked up laughing. He's an interesting man. He's very good with clay. I'll give him that.
Many of his pieces are displayed around the room. We use an art room in a building that rents out spaces to people like us in adult courses, or after school programs and things like that.
"Is anyone ready to bring their piece over to the kiln?" The teacher asked the class as a whole. A few people stood up. I was still polishing the smoothness with my new little tool I've been learning how to use. We all wear aprons and still somehow all end up with a smudge of clay somewhere.
For me it's usually when I brush my hair out of my face. I usually just keep it up for class. I have too much hair and it doesn't mix well with wet clay and a turning disk.
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When class ended I walked out of the building with Abbie as we chatted idly. She hasn't asked me about Dante, which I'm glad about because I would feel bad telling her he wasn't interested. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings because I was talking and directly after that I was looking down at my phone ordering an uber.
Abbie waved bye and walked down to her car. She offers me rides sometimes, but for her to drive all the way to Renzo's is so out of the way for her. I waved goodbye to a few other classmates and then the teacher himself. It was after that that I caught eyes with someone. My stomach flipped.
I paused and tried to understand what I was seeing here. My heart started pumping double time. Why is Rylee-Steven here? Is he watching me? My blood turned to ice. I started to back away as he crossed the street to get to me. He came with his hands up in a surrendering gesture.
"I come in peace" were his first words to me. I was alone in front of this building and I wasn't really sure what to do about it. Do I run? I clutched my bag tighter against me and waited to see what he'd say next.
"Kat, I know you know who I am. I wanted to tell you that I have nothing against you. I think you're a really genuinely sweet girl, and I think you've gotten mixed up with the wrong kind of people. Do you know who Renzo Revello is?" He asked me. What do I say? I swallowed and shifted my weight from leg to leg.
"Um, yes. He's my boyfriend" I told him. He pressed his lips together which made his nostrils flare. "Kat" he looked at me pointedly. "What do you want, Rylee? or...Steven, whoever you are!"
"I want to help you. Whether you know it or not, you've mixed yourself up in something dangerous. Someone dangerous. You know I'm a cop. I'm building a case against all of them, Kat. Do you really want to go down with them? The law always prevails and people like Renzo do eventually get caught. How far into this do you want to immerse yourself? Maybe it takes me a few months, maybe a few years, that only means you're even closer to him. Maybe it puts you in a position to commit a crime too...then you'll all go down" he told me in an even voice.
It shook me to my core. I have committed a crime. Does he know?
"Why are you doing this?" I had to ask him. He was in a cashmere sweater and jeans and when I asked the question he shoved his hands into his butt pockets. "Kat...because they're criminals. They rob, steal, kill, and cheat. These men are not your allies. They turn on people like you when it suits them." I saw his brown eyes bouncing around to see how I was responding to this.
I was trembling but trying not to show it. I tried to back away, but he held a hand up again to stop me.
"Kat, please listen to me. You are a beautiful kind woman, you don't belong with them. Do you know what prison does to a girl like you? You'll be tricked out like a prostitute for the women who run those cells" he told me. My eyes widened. Oh my goodness.
"I-I didn't do anything wrong" I tried to remind him. I don't like him talking about me in prison. It's terrifying actually. The thing is...I know he isn't lying. I'm too docile to stand up to people like those and they'd find me pretty enough to do what they want with me. Oh it makes me ill to even think of it.
"And your boyfriend can't save you there. I promise you, Kat, if it comes down to you or him...he's gonna choose himself. That's how those mob guys operate."
I grit my teeth and looked away from him. "What's the point of this speech? To scare me?" I didn't like this bully tactic.
"No, no, it's to open your eyes. I have some evidence on them that I'm going to present to my boss. After that, the FBI will swarm this thing. There are a lot of guys they've been wanting to take down. I can't save you after that" he told me.
His hands were out of his pockets now. He actually reached a hand out to place against one arm. I was so wrapped up in his words I didn't realize until afterwards. I stepped away from his touch.
"Save me?" I barely understood him because my mind was clinging to every word. He has evidence? Of what? My heart was racing so fast I could've passed out. Is Renzo about to get caught? No...no this can't be happening. The FBI?! Is he lying?
"Yes, save you. I know you're innocent in all this. I can put you in protective services while we take the Revello men down. You'll be safe from them, but you'll be safe from prison too. I won't add you to the reports" he promised me.
"What evidence?" I had to ask. He shook his head at me. "I'm not willing to discuss my case with you. Katarina, I want to help you. I'm the good guy here. I'm not the bad guy in this story" he tried reminding me.
"W-why do you want to help me? Do you really think you can take them all down?" I blinked at the man. He nodded yes with such a hard determined face. What does this guy know? I have no idea what to do or say. Everyone I love is about to get blown up into smithereens. Everything would fall apart.
"He wouldn't hurt me" I whispered to myself. I felt my eyes getting teary.
"Oh Kat, he's brainwashed you so much you don't even see the reality of your life anymore. Has he told you he loves you? That he'd do anything for you? That you're safe with him? You aren't safe, Kat. You're very much in danger. I have you on my tapes. I can include you in the report I'm ready to send out to my supervisor. Please be on the right side of the law. Please, I know you're better than this. I've looked into you, your family. Good hard working people. Don't ruin your life for him. No one can stay on top forever. Renzo Revello is going down."
My arms felt numb for some reason. I think I'm having a silent panic attack. My mind is racing so fast I can't catch the end of one sentence before thinking about another. Let me try to list this out to make sense in my head.
Rylee-Steven is an undercover cop. He has evidence against Renzo and family. He is going to show the FBI whatever he's found that he's convinced will put Renzo behind bars. He has information on me. He is willing to leave me out of it if I get protection from him and leave Renzo. He says I'm a good girl. He thinks I deserve better than prison life. I'm going to be pimped out in said prison.
Holy Jesus and Mary...
"Breathe, Kat" the man's voice brought me back. I sucked in a breath of air I didn't realize I needed. I was holding my breath. Things are falling down around me and I have no idea what to do. I can't save Renzo. I can't save Dante. I don't know what evidence this man has. If he's telling me about it that has to mean it's because it's already on its way to his higher ups or he'd be scared I would tell Renzo everything.
I don't trust Rylee, but it's funny because he isn't wrong when he says he isn't the bad guy. He really isn't. He's on the right side of the law. I've surrounded myself with so many criminals that I now view cops as the bad guys.
FBI. That's all I keep hearing in my head. Not the local police department. Not some half retired cop. The FBI has me and everyone I love on a watch list and now the man in front of me is giving me an out.
I watched Rylee-Steven give me sympathetic eyes when he held his hand out to me and said, "Make a choice, Kat."
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Authors note: I'm going to post a preview of the first 5 chapters of my new book 'BlackHeart' from the Shade Darker series.
Hope to see you there!
As always, thank you so much for reading, voting, commenting, and following!!! I love you all for all your support.