"Goddamnit!"
T-bag slammed his beer down onto the table, what was left over now leaked out from the cracked bottom.
"We're never going to find those bastards!" He chuckled to himself, though he clearly wasn't pleased as he waved for another beer to be handed to him as a waiter walked by. "And you want to know the best part? I've been doing research on those fuckers, yeah, and it seems they get out of every single FUCKING situation imaginable. Agartha, Camp Godgold, Steelbeak, multiple other gangs... it's like they have plot protection or something!"
"...what is that?"
"Shut the FUCK up, Dingles!"
Dingles flinched back and held his beer close to his chest like it was a newborn child. "S-sorry...?"
T-bag ignored him before pulling out a cigarette. Smoking was the only thing that could calm him down. "Okay, not only do we need to find their location, but we also need to come up with a better plan. We can't just be a normal threat to them. We have to be something more."
"W-well..." Vic started wringing his hands together. "Do you have any ideas, sir?"
"Why the hell do you think I'm asking you assholes?!"
Vic nodded vigorously before shutting the hell up. But that only made T-bag slam his fist on the table. He didn't want silence. He wanted a plan.
"Ideas! Spit them out!"
Tina giggled, aggravatingly so, but T-bag didn't punch her because that was his gal. "Chill, babe! We'll come up with something." She began to trace the rim of her glass and leaned forward so her voice echoed around the group. "The girl with the glasses that we all hate the most. What's her name? Gladis? Whatever. She's kinda hot so I say we sell her off."
Before anyone could respond to that, she continued.
"You know the Mafia guy, Freddoccino? He's been looking for a wife."
That seemed to please T-bag. "Now we're talking! And we can rough her up a bit beforehand too, maybe chop off a finger! Alright alright!" T-bag took out his phone and clicked open the notes to start writing this shit down. "More ideas. We still got Bitch Billionaire, Robo Freak, and Chicken Dweeb." He paused. "Oh yeah, and that kid."
Dingles raised a hand but immediately started talking. Aka he did that thing that pisses every elementary school teacher off. "...okay so like, Chicken Dweeb is the driver, right?"
T-bag didn't answer because he had said that fifty times throughout that day alone.
"Is that a yes?"
Still no answer.
"Um... okay? Well, like, if he is the driver we could totally put a bomb in... hold up what's it called?" Dingles took out his phone to look something up. It took him a good minute and everyone had to sit in silence to just stare at him. "The ignition! So when he starts the car, BOOM!"
"Hmmm..." T-bag looked over at Vic. "You're good at making bombs, right, Vicky?"
Vic, again, vigorously nodded.
"Alright. You're in charge of that." He added that to his Waddle phone notes. "What else we got for Bitch Billionaire and the Robo Freaks?"
When no one answered he gave his own idea for what should be done with Ellie and Boyd. "Ya know, they were the pricks who fucked up our bikes..." T-Bag continued "I say we kidnap the robots and slowly dismember them and use their parts for our new bikes. Gotta keep them alive though. We can't have them dying off too quickly." He gave a very disturbing smile as we typed his idea into his phone. "Alright, so now we need a plan for Bitch Billionaire."
Surprisingly, it was Vic this time to speak up. "Maybe..." He whispered.
Everyone leaned in forward, desperate to hear what the man who barely spoke had to say.
"Maybe we can... destroy his phone?"
The table was silent for a moment.
"Destroy..." Dingles needed a moment before continuing. "Mark Beak's phone?"
Vic gulped. "Y-yeah...?"
Crossing her arms, Tina raised both of her brows. "...You want to destroy his phone? That's your genius idea?"
This time he slowly nodded.
More moments of silence passed by before Tina, T-bag and Dingles broke out into laughter. Tina was the loudest, slamming her fist on the table over and over again, wheezing. T-bag even spilled most of his beer onto the table again.
Vic started wringing his hands faster. "U-um... is that not- is that not a good idea?"
"No no." T-bag wiped a fake tear from his eye and took a heavy breath to calm down. He laid a hand over his chest as well. "That plan is SICK!"
"Yeah Vic, holy cow." Tina added. "I didn't know you were so fucked up! Guess it's a reminder of why a twink like you is in the gang!"
Dingles started clapping before the other two joined in.
That brought a big old smile to Vic's face and he held up a hand. "I know, I know guys. Thanks."
"Okay! So we got a game plan!" T-bag held up his phone so everyone could see his notes. "Tina, you're in charge of the Robo Freaks, Dingles is in charge of Billionaire Bitch, Vic, you got Chicken Dweeb, and me... I get the best for last; Gladis."
Dingles raised his hand and spoke without being called on again. "Wait. How are we supposed to find them. We-" He got cut off when his phone dinged. "Hey! Mark finally updated his Twitter! Man, I've been wanting an update on his love life for so long!" With eyes glued to the screen, Dingles started scrolling like a madman, reading every single tweet. And there was a lot.
"Give me that!" T-bag snatched the phone from Dingles to see what he was talking about. He scrolled back up to his most recent post. It was a photo of him and Ellie in front of a 'The city of Savannah welcomes you' sign in the background. T-bag laughed and tossed the phone back to Dingles. Dingles sadly did not catch it."These guys are idiots! Billionaire Bitch just told the whole world where he is right now! They're in Savannah. That's only a few hours away from here!"
"Wait wait, hold on!" Tina began to wave her arms to get everyone's attention. "What about that other guy who's with 'em? The fat one."
"...shit." T-bag knew the guy he was talking about. The one who knocked them all out. Glomgold. "Okay. We'll just avoid him at all costs. Now, let's finish up our drinks and head out."
"What about our bikes?"
T-bag pointed to an amateur gang from across the bar. "We'll take theirs."
Everyone was about to stand up when C-note interrupted.
"Um, guys? I've been sitting here the whole time and no one has either heard me or responded to me. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
T-bag blinked and stared at C-note for a second. "Oh yeah... I forgot you were here too. Um, you can just be like, backup help."
"Wow... I'm so fucking honored."
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The gang had left Disney and had been driving for what seemed like eight hours. Everyone had stopped paying attention to the time at a certain point.
Gyro pulled into ThunderBird Inn, some shitty motel parking lot, for a breather. They weren't staying there, he just needed a moment. He did a praying gesture before leaning his back against the car.
The rest of the gang got out to stretch too, including Glomgold who ran over to a bush to urinate within it. He still had a child leash on that Ellie had gotten him at Disney, but she wasn't holding it so it just dragged along behind him. Hopefully he didn't pee on it too.
"Mark..." Gyro breathed out as calmly as he could. "Please explain to me why you not only have my phone but you led us to Savannah Fucking Georgia?! You know, the complete opposite direction of where we are supposed to be heading!"
"Ummm one, because Ellie gave me your phone so now it's mine and two, idk what you're talking about because my map clearly says that we are going in the right direction!"
Gyro ignored the fact Ellie had stolen his phone and leaned in to look at the map Mark was pointing at. Yes they were going in the right direction because they weren't heading to Duckburg. "Mark! You typed in Savannah Georgia! WHY?!"
"Hey! It's not my fault! It's your stupid phone that lead us here!"
Gyro punched Sadie and his nerd strength left a tiny dent. "ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS TYPE IN DUCKBURG, CALIFORNIA! THAT'S IT! A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLACE FROM SAVANNAH!" He moved to dig a finger into Mark's chest. "AND YOU WERE LOOKING AT THE MAP THE ENTIRE TIME THAT WAS LEADING US NORTH NOT WEST!"
Everyone looked at Mark for an answer because no one knew how he could mess up that badly.
Mark held his hands up like he was surrendering "Okay okayyyyyy I'll admit it! I purposely had us come here because LOOK HOW FREAKING LIT THIS PLACE IS! Totally Instagram worthy! What with all of the trees and spanish moss and weird art students walking around! This place is great!"
"WE'RE IN A MOTEL PARKING LOT!" Gyro protested. With that he stormed off to huff over by the bush Glomgold was in.
Mark started texting on his phone again when Gyro stormed away. He looked up at everyone again "Alright since nothing is happening here, Ellie, Boyd and I are gonna go walk around and take loads of pictures! K byeeeeeeee!" He sang as he and Ellie, who took Boyd's hand, started to walk away. Mark stopped in his tracks and turned around to say one last thing. "Ohhhh alsooooo I already booked myself a fancy ass hotel room for the night and you losers aren't invited so yeah! Laterzzzzzz Beaks Out!"
The three of them walked in the direction of Forsyth Park. Mark already did some research about this city before they came here so he already knew the best places to take selfies. Boyd waved happily goodbye to his aunt and Dr. Dad.
"...not like that's a problem anyway. I have plenty of money for a hotel for the night." Gyro murmured under his breath. No one could hear him but Glomgold who he had forgotten was peeing in the bushes.
Glomgold scattered out quickly, with his child leash, and ran back into the van. The door slammed behind him.
Gyro was too distressed to even notice and simply just stuffed his hands into his dad shorts pockets, covering Glomgold's pee puddle with some dirt while he moped.
Gloria made her way over to where Gyro was sitting. "Well, I guess we should probably find a place to stay as well." She looked over at the motel they were parked in "We could just stay here. That way you won't have to drive anymore and we will have time to walk around the city too." This place was heaven for Gloria. She noticed ten different local bars while looking out the window and they just got here!
He sighed and finally looked over at her. "Yeah, yeah. You're right." He looked over at the vacant sign. "But why pay when I continue on my cime streak?! Let's just kill some people and take their rooms!" He shouted. He clearly wasn't serious but he was just as upset as he was yesterday at Disney as he sat on the curb bordering the parking lot. "I'll get you a motel room and then I'm going to go and turn myself into the local police. We aren't in Florida anymore so I'm sure they'll arrest me."
Gloria put her hands on her hips. "Gyro, I love you, but you gotta stop being such a drama queen over this! I have done plenty of crimes in my day and at a certain point you just get used to it! Look, I know you're upset but you're not going to turn yourself into the police. We are just going to stay here for the night here and get back on the road tomorrow."
That didn't make Gyro feel better at all. It only made him feel worse. He was dating a criminal after all so Gloria couldn't be turned to for lawful advice. He loved Gloria, but her past was anything but clean. He stayed silent for a minute before standing up. "Okay." There wasn't much else he could think of to say. "I'll just try to forget about it. I'll get us a motel room."
He walked towards the entrance with Gloria when a sudden motel door swung open, almost knocking them over.
"OW!"
The door didn't even hit Gyro but he screamed it on instinct like the wimp he was.
He shot the man walking out a look. He looked like a classic drunk nobody, white stained shirt, five o clock shadow, beer belly, and heavy bags under his eyes while he held a beer. He was bidding what could be assumed to be a hooker goodbye.
"Hey, watch where you're fucking going, man! You almost hit us!"
The man shot Gloria a glare. The whites of his eyes were a light red, clearly from drugs. "Watch who you're talking to, whore! You were the one who decided to walk in front of my goddamn door!"
Gyro's throat went dry as he studied the man and then it dawned on him. "...Dad?"
He turned to direct his glare at Gyro "What the fuck did you call me?"
"Um..." It was tempting to avoid contact, but Gyro kept his ground. "It's me, Gyro. You know, your son."
Gloria gave Gyro a confused look. She looked back and forth between both of their faces and there wasn't much resemblance. What the hell was this? An episode of Maury?! Well okay... The one big resemblance being that they were both chickens. Wait, was that racist to think? Whatever.
"Are you going to say something or should I just leave like I did all those years ago?" Gyro snapped.
The man looked over and pointed in the direction that his hooker just left in. "You just interrupted me in the middle of something." That wasn't the answer that Gyro wanted but it's what he got.
Gloria couldn't help but smirk "Like father like son, am I right?" She nudged Gyro's side with her elbow. She knew it was a very inappropriate time to make a joke like that but she couldn't help it! Obviously Gloria knew the difference between a stripper and a hooker but who cares. She thought her joke was hilarious nonetheless.
Gyro ignored her. "That's it?! That's all you have to say?! God! You're such an asshole!" He didn't even question why his father was with a hooker. His mom being cheated was nothing new. Even she was aware. "Well, it's good to see you too." Gyro didn't want anymore of this and grabbed Gloria's hand to turn around. "C'mon, let's just go to another motel."
"You two need a place to stay?"
Gyro stopped to look back at his dad. "No. No we don't. Thank you very much." He spat.
Gyro's father held his hand out to motion him to stop. "Alright alright I'll admit that wasn't the best first impression after not seeing you for so many years..." He cleared his throat "Look, I know you don't live 'round here so clearly you do need a place to stay. I retired to Savannah a couple years back so let me make it up to ya by letting you two stay at my place for a night."
Gyro looked over at Gloria like she would have some godly advice. Maybe she would be able to tell if he was trustworthy. It was a stupid thought, but that's what Gyro hoped.
The response he got from Gloria was a shrug. Great.
He sighed and looked back at his dad. "Fine."
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"This is absolutely stunning."
Mark thought Ellie was talking about the fountain until she continued.
"There are over 9000 bodies buried in the historic district alone. And that does not include the unmarked burials and supposed mass grave underneath the fire station." She looked over at Mark and continued on the subject of the mass grave. "Apparently there were roughly 700 bodies thrown into a large pit during the Yellow Fever."
Boyd was spared from the lecture of death because he was busy petting a nearby dog. Turns out Savannah was a very dog friendly city and he was overjoyed. He decided he would ask for a pet once they got back to Duckburg.
Mark hopped from one foot to the next as if he was walking on hot sand. He looked down at the ground "Ewwwwwwww what?! Gross! Dead people and sickness! Totes not gram material! Why do dead people ruin everything?!"
Ellie ignored whatever the hell he was going on about. "I like this city. A lovely choice on your half despite you leading us in the completely wrong direction."
He looked up at her and stopped dancing or squatting or whatever the hell he was doing at that point. "Wait, so you like it here?!"
"Yes. Very much so." She began to look around more. "It is very beautiful as well."
He nodded in response. "Cool cool." Alright. Disney being the place where he proposed was a flop. It was a no brainer that Ellie enjoyed Savannah much more than DisneyWorld so Mark used that to his advantage. He took out the small ring box from his back pocket again and cleared his throat. "Ellie," He started. He had a speech but at this point he wanted to propose fast just in case there would be any sort of interruptions that would cause him not to finish. He slowly got down on one knee, not breaking eye contact with her. "Will you-"
"Hi-ya Miss!" Some guy with a stack of pamphlets at hand shoved Mark out of the way to speak with Ellie. "I couldn't help but overhear your love for all things dead! Well, ma'am, you've come to the right city! Savannah is the oldest city in Georgia and I can assure you that it's old history is chalked full with murder stories, disease, unmarked burials, and haunted buildings! You can learn more about our haunted history on a Ghost Tour!" The young man handed Ellie one of his pamphlets. She glanced down at the advertisement before back up at the man. "There are Ghost Tours happening every night so be sure to stop by one of our information booths to sign up!" He tipped his hat. "Have a great rest of your day, ma'am!"
The man accidentally stepped on Mark's hand while he left to go pester other people with his flyers. Mark huffed and stood up.
"God damnit! Everytime!" He felt like the moment passed yet again. Hopefully he could try to propose again before they had to leave Savannah.
"Hmmm," Ellie had completely forgotten about whatever the hell Mark was going to talk to her about while she studied the pamphlet. "The belief of the paranormal and the afterlife is completely idiotic but I do enjoy history and death." That was enough to get her to go. But she settled on asking instead of demanding this time around. Mark was being nicer to her so she had to be nicer to him as well in return. It was the polite and organic thing to do. "Would you like to go? I am sure Boyd would love to hear ghost stories to tell his friend." She was referring to Huey, she just never bothered to learn his name after all this time.
Mark sighed. A ghost tour at night wasn't exactly the best place to get some sweet shots for the gram but what else was he going to do? He could just go and post twitter updates at the same time. "Yeah, whatevs. I'll come, too."
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