Put A Little Love On Me ~N.H~ *Completed*

43

Aliyah

Being back home for Christmas this year feels a little bit off. Not because I'm not close with my family, because I am. But because I know once I leave to back to LA, I'll be all alone again. 

Ever since that day Niall left my house, he hasn't returned. He hasn't stepped foot in my house and I haven't stepped into his. He hasn't texted. He hasn't called. He hasn't answered any of my messages on Instagram or even Twitter. Absolutely nothing. 

I've tried my hardest to talk to him, but he doesn't budge.

I can see that he has read all of my messages, but it seems to me that he doesn't have the willpower to respond. And that is what I think is hurting me the most.

The fact that we live so close to each other, go to the same places, and hang out with a lot of the same people, and he still won't talk to me. Let alone look at me. 

"Why do you look so sad, baby?" I was snapped out of my thoughts.

"I'm just upset that I can't stay home for as long as I want," I brushed it off.

"Let me know if you want to tell me what's really going on," my mom said before leaving me alone once again with my thoughts.

That's the thing about my mom. She knows when you're lying. When you're sad. Or even when you want to be left alone. That's why I love her so much. She truly understands.

Being back in my childhood bedroom is weird this time around.

Everytime I come back home, I'm always excited to stay it my room. I think it may be because I grew up in here. I did every little thing in here by myself.

This was my safe space.

My whole family knew that when I was in here with the door shut, I was either working on something important or wanted to be left alone. When the door was open, I was willing to share my thoughts, my life, anything.

But being back here this year for Christmas was weird to me.

Was it because I was older? My feelings were different than they were years ago before moving out of my hometown? I'm not quite sure on that aspect.

But what I've come to the conclusion on these past few days of being back home, is that the house itself feels different.

Each time I go into a room or turn to look somewhere else, I see a memory that was made in the beginning of the year.

All I can see is Niall.

He's all I see now.

Like when I first came downstairs to head to my room. I walked past the piano. I could only see Niall there. Nothing else.

*

I looked up and over to the door and sure enough it was open and Niall was standing there.

"You scared me," I said to him.

"You have a great voice," he complimented.

"Thank you,"

"I came looking for you and didn't expect to find you by the piano,"

"I don't really play it a lot much, but I knew I had to play once while I was home," I said back.

"Can you play what you were playing again?" He asked me.

"Uh, I guess, why?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I want to hear you sing again,"

"I don't really sing in front of people, you know this now," I said quietly.

"It's just me, it's ok," he reassured me.

"I will only if you sing with me and shut the door,"

"Deal," he said shutting the door and coming over and sitting beside me at the piano bench.

"I'm only singing a little bit,"

"Just sing as much as you're comfortable with," he said back.

I began playing and waited for Niall to start singing before I joined.

*

Even just being in the kitchen helping my mom. I could only see Niall sitting at the island.

Why does he have to be everywhere?

My mind.

My house.

Everywhere in general.

I don't understand.

My bedroom was the worst place to be, but also the best.

Niall slept in here when we came months ago and he's all I ever see in here.

This used to be my safe space, but now I don't think it is.

Not even in the slightest.

Why did he have to cut me out of his life with no warning?

Just then a single tear slipped down my cheek and off my face.

"Hey, hey, no crying," Bryce said as he hugged me. "Tell me what's going on,"

"I think you were right,"

"About?"

"Niall," I sighed as a tear left my eye. "He came to my house drunk like a month ago and he said he loved me. I told him to go to sleep and we could talk the next morning. He never said anything about it and we haven't talked since then," I explained.

"And how do you feel?"

"I'm hurt that he hasn't tried to talk to me once. Not even a text,"

"I understand that's how you feel about the situation itself, but how do you feel about him?" He clarified.

"I come to realize that I like him a lot, I might love him, I'm not sure,"

"The only thing I can suggest is that you tell him," he told me. "He might have been drunk when he told you his feelings, but he still had the nerve to tell you, so now it's your turn,"

"I can't though, I just can't," I started to cry now.

"Give me one good reason why you can't tell him,"

I grabbed my phone and pulled up the picture that was released a couple of days ago and showed him. Niall kissing a girl.

"He's already found someone," I said softly. "He's not gonna care that I like him when he already has a girlfriend,"

"I don't care that he has a girlfriend," he shrugged. "When you go back to LA, you tell him how you feel. If he hurts you in any way, you call me and I'll fly out there instantly and beat his ass, got it,"

"You can't just beat someone up,"

"I can if they hurt my sister,"

"Okay," I laughed.

"I'm glad I could get you to smile, but I'm serious. I'm sure Colby and Sam would help me," he smiled. "It may not seem like it, but they are both protective over you,"

"I know that,"

"Let's go hang out with the rest of the family now, their probably worried about you,"

***