Senseless Abyss (Zero-One Fanfic)

-Chapter 177

"Mari, don't focus too much on others. You've always done that and it has always gotten you into serious trouble," Allen says, warning me to not lose sight of the bigger picture. "You need to care for yourself a bit more."

"I am aware of how I tend to focus on others, Allen." I am very aware of how I am. "I am very aware of how I am about things." 

"You need to make the right choices for yourself moving forward. Whether you decide that Aruto or Horobi should be at your side is all up to you. Just make that you don't view that as more important than yourself. Cherish yourself."

"Cherish myself?" Don't I already cherish myself?

Allen nods his head. "I cannot cherish you like you can. You're the one who is able to do that while I am not someone who can. I am truly sorry for not cherishing you while we were married to each other. I know that Gai didn't cherish you, but I am sure that he wanted to. He doesn't want to get divorced." I know Gai doesn't, but he's going to do so anyways. 

"I will make sure to make a decision about who to be with when the time comes for me to." I do not want to make a decision so instantly or else I will end up making the wrong choice. I do not want to end up in another bad relationship.

"Don't pick someone because of someone else wanting you to. Mari, make sure you pick the guy you want because you truly love him. If you're wondering, I tend to know what you're thinking. I was married to you so I know you pretty well."

I look down and nod. "I am aware that you do, Allen."

Horobi is absolutely wonderful to Jin and I want to be apart of Jin's life with him. Jin is the most precious Humagear I've ever met besides my Humagear, Kairi. If he stopped being in my life, I would lose it. I would lose myself for losing him. Of course, I would be hurt if some thing bad happened to Aruto. I just don't have a baby with him, so I can lose it over anything he has. His company isn't something I care too much about because I love him even when he has nothing to his name. I still wanted him when he lost his company to Gai because that is how much I love him. 

"Mari, we're doing everything we can to stop Horobi. With your assistance, we'll handle this properly," Allen says, reassuring me that everyone is doing what they can to put an end to this pointless war that Horobi is starting.

I look up, staring him in the eyes as he pats me on the head again. "Allen..." What do I say now? 

"I know you won't ever truly forgive me for what I've put you through, but I want to do my best to make it up to you. I can't erase what I did, but I can stop others from making mistakes that I have. I promise you that I will put an end to men like me one day. I swear I will."

"Our conversation is getting all over the place." I don't know how to get it back on track. 

He drops his hand from my head. "I am aware of that. It is because we're able to talk to each other freely again. I remember when we were dating. We talked so easily then. Then we got married and that vanished because I made it vanish."

"It happens. Life isn't supposed to be rainbows and sunshine all the time." 

He nods his head, putting his lips together. "Mmhmm."

"Do you want me to make you something to eat, Allen? You're hungry, aren't you?" I want to do something that isn't thinking right now. "Do you want something that is to your liking? I can make food that you like right now."

"Mari, you don't need to make me anything. I can cook decently," he responds, turning down my offer. "I am going to go and make you something to eat soon. Just relax."

I nod. "Alright."

I will relax for a bit.

~.~

I place the plate into the sink and turn my head, looking over my shoulder as Allen stares at some papers. He made food, but I told him I would do the dishes. He agreed to that since he was able to cook instead of me. How could he go and do that?

"Your noodles were perfectly cooked," I state, turning my attention back to the dishes. "I liked the sauce you put on it." It was a perfectly creamy Alfredo sauce. 

"I am glad that you liked it. I'm sure you could make something better than that." 

"I can make the perfect noodles for sure, but I'm not good with sauces. I am impressed with your cooking, Allen." He is really an impressive person despite what he did to me in the past. "So, what are you reading about?"

"Important work related things that Rei wanted me to look into. You don't need to know anything about it since you wouldn't be able to understand it. You're not great with robotics," he tells me. He's right about that.

"I know the basics, but I'm not as bright as you are. You take one look at something and pretty much know what you're talking about," I respond, being honest about how smart I am. "I think I'm okay with business stuff."

"You are decent with it from what I know. You just need to be bossier," he says.

"Yeah..." I could do that. "Hey, Allen, thank you for talking to me today."

"No problem. I want to be someone you can rely on," he tells me. "Just don't overly rely on me. I did treat you bad before."

He did do that. "Alright. I'm going to clean up these dishes now."

Then I'm going to focus on what I need to do and sleep eventually. 

A/n: Allen wants Mari to make a choice soon, but just how soon? I don't think we're getting that anytime soon, but we're going to get a lot of drama and other fun stuff. What do you think is in the future of this story? Don't worry, it is all going to be a lot of fun (well, I had fun writing it). xD 

Thank you for reading and see you all soon! 

PS: I know I was late to posting this chapter, but I dozed off before I could post it. So, here it is! Sorry for being late with it, but I got really tired last night.