Senseless Abyss (Zero-One Fanfic)

-Chapter 172

-Chapter 172: We Live a Different Life

I lived in happiness with Horobi for a night, but I know it isn't enough. 

We may mutually love each other, but that isn't all it takes for a relationship to be formed. We need more than that and if he can't change, I cannot accept his feelings. What happened that night, I'll always cherish. I won't forget being so happy with Horobi, but I don't think it is meant to be that way for us. Humans and Humagears just don't mix well at times.

Is it wrong that I wanted things to work out? I lost Aruto because of him, so I thought I could make it work. Horobi...even thoguh he's made life hard for me, I can't hate him. How can I not hate him? I want to hate him so much because it'll make things easier, but it just doesn't come. No hatred fills my heart for him. Why did I have to get involved with him?

I bring my hands up to my face and wipe it. Why is this the hardest thing for me? I saw him die. He died for a brief moment and then was brought back by someone at ZAIA. I am pretty sure it was Yua who repaired him, but I could be wrong. I wish we could go back to the days of him not achieving Singularity. I miss those days of just being around him and having him not understand a single thing outside of the Ark's will. As much as I hate the Ark and want Horobi to be free, that Horobi was less dangerous than the one I have here now.

"Is that you, Mari?" The voice...Raiden?

I turn my head, dropping my hands from my face as my eyes land on him. "Raiden..." Isn't he supposed to be with his brother right now?

His face changes a bit, probably because he knows I'm crying. "Did you have a fight with him?"

I shake my head. "The opposite happened between us. I have decided to let him go," I answer, my voice low.

Raiden nods his head, looking a bit confused. "I see."

"I still love him, but sometimes you have to let the one you love go. What is best for us is completely different. I need humanity to thrive and he doesn't believe in that. How can we be together right now?"

"I get what you mean. Do you want me to walk with you for a bit so you can at least have someone at your side?" he asks, offering himself to me as a friend. Can we even be friends?

"Sure." He can do that. "Yeah, that would be nice."

"Are you wishing that you didn't fall for him? You know, so things wouldn't be as complicated as they are now?"

"I don't regret loving Horobi, but I wish things could be different. If I would hate met someone else to love first, maybe I wouldn't be in this position of having to decide between him and everyone else." I want to side with Horobi, but I just can't.

Raiden steps forward, nodding. "I understand that. I wonder what your life would have been if you didn't meet your two ex-husbands?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Probably marrying someone decent, I guess." I don't know who that person would be in a timeline without my two exes, but it would definitely be someone decent. 

He stops in front of me, looking a bit softer than he usually does. "You really have a specific kind of guy you like. They are all so similar. You should have fallen in love with someone like me."

I look away from him, laughing a little. "Are you trying to make me feel better or are you trying to piss me off?"

"Both."

I look back at him. "And what would you do with a human? You're a hot blooded Humagear who has died and come back to life."

"Horobi came back to life didn't he?"