Lord give me strength

worse and worse versions of this every year

accidentally gave myself a new ship last chapter

I can see Florida just fighting with anyone willing, so the District of Columbia will do it for fun/practice

District of Columbia: I'm gonna beat you next time

Florida: I've already beaten you twice

District of Columbia: First time was a tie

Florida: And the second time?

District of Columbia: Second time there was no witnesses

[someone's being annoying]

Florida: Babe

Florida: Babe

Florida: Pick me up

District of Columbia: [picks him up and walks over to the person]

Florida: [smacks the person] Shut up

California: What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?

District of Columbia: Awfully bold of you to assume he's reached peak dumbass

Louisiana: Would you take a bullet for him

District of Columbia: I-

Florida: And take my ticket out? Bitch-

Florida: I don't think so

District of Columbia & Louisiana: [softly] No

Florida, in the closet: No, I'm straight-

District of Columbia: So is spaghetti until things get steamy

Florida, gay: Wait-

Florida: [walks in]

District of Columbia: Dibs

California: Florida, that's a lego set for people five and up

District of Columbia: Yeah? And?

District of Columbia: He's the up

District of Columbia: I love you

Florida, panicking: That's gay

District of Columbia: [upset]

Florida: wait-

Florida: wait no I was kidding-

District of Columbia: Birth certificates are just receipts for human beings

Florida: Can I return myself

District of Columbia: No

DC: Be the bigger person

Florida: Bitch-

District of Columbia: He's 5'5 and bitter, you be the bigger person

Edit: removed stuff