Lord give me strength

34

Tw: anxiety attack

He glances back over at the clock where the neon letters read 9:01. Loui left around half an hour ago and he didn't want to ruin his friend's night. He could do this. He looks back over at the clock, it hasn't changed. Anything could be happening, he could be hurt, could've gotten a bad driver could've- 

"Can you stop?" He stills, looking over to where Texas is giving him an odd look.

"What?" He glances at the clock again, 9:02. 

"Stop bouncing your leg, just sit still" Texas sounds mad and he can't handle that right now. 

"I- uh" He tries not to cry, "I'm sorry I didn't realize...I'm gonna- gonna go." He tries to act normal as he rushes past DC.

He locks the door as soon as he gets in, turning around and sliding down to sit in front of the door. He buries his head in his hands, shaking. Loui would be fine. Florida was just anxious, Loui would be fine. 

What if he isn't? 

He digs through his pockets for his phone, so he could see if Loui messaged him, but it isn't there. Usually, something like his phone going missing wouldn't bother him, but there were so many bad thoughts he can't stop himself. He sobs, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to calm down before someone heard. He just had to find his phone.

A soft knock on the door after his sobs have finally died down startles him out of his thoughts, "Florida?"

"Yeah?" He tries to make it sound like he wasn't just sobbing on the floor. 

"Are you okay?" He wants to say something, wants to ask for help, but he doesn't. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." He waits for them to leave before getting up. 

He pulls on one of Loui's hoodies and gets up to try and find his phone. When he does find it, there's no new messages, so he goes back to his room. He knew he probably wasn't going to get much sleep, but it couldn't hurt to try. 

--

Apparently it could. 

His hands are shaking, he isn't fully aware of his surroundings. His eyes dart around the room wildly, trying to remember that he was in his room, the room he shared with Loui, and they were fine. But, Loui wasn't here. He was alone and the room was too big. 

He moves to run his hands through his hair and tries to stop himself, but he's sobbing and hyperventilating and someone's going to hear because it's too quiet. He can distantly hear his door being opened before someone's next to him. 

"Are you alright with touch?" He nods, leaning closer. 

They move his hands from where they're pulling at his hair and move to sit across from him on the bed, it's DC. 

"I want you to breathe with me, okay?" He nods again and DC puts one of Florida's hands on his chest so Florida can try to match his breathing, "breath in for four, hold for seven, out for eight." 

Once his breathing is back to normal and he isn't crying, DC goes to sit next to him. He immediately rests his head on DC's shoulder, who in turn moves to run a hand through his hair. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shakes his head, he doesn't want to think about it at all. 

"Alright." DC turns to check the time, "Why don't you try to sleep-"

"Can't- don't want to be alone," he cuts DC off, he couldn't handle another nightmare.

"I could uh- stay with you," DC pauses, "I just have to get changed, I'll be back."

"Okay," he sits up so DC can leave. 

When DC comes back, he's already laying down. Florida feels the bed dip next to him and latches on to DC's side almost immediately. DC stills, surprised, but Florida looks so tired and he'd already done so much work. He smiles, moving to wrap an arm around Florida.

"G'night" He hears Florida's muffled voice.

"Good night." 

It's the best either of them have slept in a while.