Alpha's Abused Mate

Unions And Sudden News.

There is no strength and hope for the future without unity and love, especially under unexpected, catalytic news.

~next day, early afternoon, Russia, Alena's tower, garden~

Alena's pov

I look at his photo at the head of the massive grave from black marble and smile weakly in melancholy.

I still can't believe it's over and he is here us, with me and our baby!

I brought him back home, I honored him, the Kingdom mourned him the way he deserved, he left from the palace like the most amazing King he was, I brought him here, in our real home next to our son, I buried him with my own hands and this grave was finished a while ago.

It is officially over...

It feels like a bad dream, watching his grave is heartbreaking, because now I'm able to realize exactly what happened and it hurts like hell. I never wanted to believe he was dead and not having his body was... I don't know how to explain it. I knew he had died, but I didn't have the real evidence, his body, but now I do and one part of me feels relieved about it, but another one bleeds, because it's done.

I am glad I managed to take him back even after so many years and I gave him the peace he didn't have, but I miss him, I really do. I deserved to be in his place, only I, because I don't feel strong anymore, I feel broken, half, weak and it is quite terrifying. My heart is tired in all the possible ways there are, although the worst part of the nightmare is over and I should feel grateful.

How can I be optimistic when everything I loved is dead and I am responsible? How can I feel redeemed when my hands are covered with so much blood? And how can I be pleased from now on when I hate myself for absolutely everything?

I exhale heavily, stiffen from the freezing cold, fix my black from silk shawl around my shoulders and turn my head slowly on Dimitrey's grave left where our son's is.

It has the same one with his father's, I took care of both of them and here they are, buried together in front of me. Together, they are finally together, but they left me alone...

I know I am here with them, but I am still 'alive' and I can't reach them no matter what. It is not enough for me to stand in front of their graves, stare at them, take care of them, speak to them and mourn, because I don't have them!

Allia moves in my mind, gives me a sympathetic, warm smile and I exhale again. At least I didn't lose her, even after all this pain, dangers, fights and reveals, she didn't leave me alone and I know she won't.

And... Don't get me wrong, I mean I am aware I have people who love me and will never leave me, but it's not the same thing, not anymore. I have Cora, Owen, Mischa, Natalie, Rosana, Chloe, little Cora, my Ronald, Amanda, George, Nina and all the others except Nikolai, Noah, maybe Caleb, because he probably hates me for everything and he is right, but it is not the same and I can't become a weight, I don't feel right.

I won't bother them with my demons, I'll step aside, stay here and continue my 'life' a God knows how, but I won't cause more pain than I already have and I won't feel worse, but first I have one last public appearance to make.

I have to be at Cora's ceremony, place my crown on her head, give her my blessing and the end... From that moment I will be just Alena, not Queen Alena and I won't be responsible for the Kingdom anymore. I will leave it in safe hands and Cora will be in lead of everything, Ivan will never leave her and he will be her rock, just like Dimitrey was mine and they'll be happy.