Alpha's Abused Mate

Scared Of Secrets.

If you want to keep a secret forever, you must also hide it from yourself!

~some time later, Owen's pack, hospital~

Nikolai's pov

I open my eyes slowly and look at the white ceiling above me.

I hear some noises from movements around me and groan with my lycan moving in my mind in frustration. My heart hurts and although I feel everything else too sore and I think I am dizzy, I remember immediately what is happening and I sit up panicked.

Alena and...

He...

He is alive!

He was close to her!

And now she is...

NO!

"Nikolai, calm down!" Alan says standing up from his seat next to my bed and pushes me gently to lie down again.

I turn to look at him breathless but I realize he is not alone, Konstantin and Mischa are here with us as well and all of them have a different expression but none of them is calm...

Mischa is worried, his eyes are red, he must have been crying and he is looking at me in agony.

Alan has a nervous look but he doesn't look so worried, he is mostly troubled, I know he is thinking of lots of things right now and how could he not? He knows everything, he and Konstantin are like brothers for me, we grew up together, they never left my side and now that I mentioned Konstantin...

He is angry, maybe angrier than any other time, his eyes are almost black and he is not scared. He is mad at me and I understand why!

Everything went wrong from the beginning and now...

What am I going to do now?

"Everything is your damn fault!" my lycan roars outraged reading my thoughts and I close my eyes sighing heavily.

I don't know what to tell him, I can't find the right words and he won't listen to me no matter what I say! He was always against my decisions and we were fighting all the time, he was taking Alena's side and I...

"Are you alright? How do you feel?" Mischa asks me with concern and I open my eyes again to force a smile.

He mustn't understand a thing and I need him to leave! I can't let him know...

"I'm fine, just overwhelmed... And Cora? Alena? How are they?" reply immediately and sit up again but this time slowly.

I rest my back against the head of the bed and Alan leans and helps me with the pillow, I can't move like before, my body is not listening to me and I can't control myself or my feelings! This is the first time something like this is happening and I feel weak and helpless. I had always full control over me, my feelings, my thoughts, my Kingdom, my family and now...

I have nothing and soon enough I will have nobody! If I don't find him and kill him, I will stay alone, they will leave me, all of them!

"Cora is sleeping with Chloe in a room... The doctors gave them something to help them relax, they couldn't stop crying, they needed to rest!" Mischa replies quickly and stops.