Senseless Abyss (Zero-One Fanfic)

-Chapter 168

"Horobi, please let me mourn him. Please..." I need to mourn the loss of Aruto. I need to see him one last time. "You know how I feel, right? Please, let me do this! Horobi...please..." I close my eyes as my face starts getting wet.

"Mari, that is impossible right now. You're meant to be with us," Horobi states, not giving me permission to mourn the loss of Aruto. "You need to come with us immediately and see the new world you belong to." 

Aruto...I'm so sorry. I've failed you. How could I let this happen?

"You can see him after the human population is wiped out." Horobi!

"That's not good enough for me and you know it!" I want to see him now.

"Let's go."

Why is he being like this? 

~.~

Horobi puts me down on the ground and I turn to him. I bring up my hands to him and shove him as I swallow back my tears. How could he go and take me like that? Aruto just died and he expects me to get the heck over it? Aruto was my friend. He was my lover at one point and we were happy together.

"You can be mad at me all you want, but it won't change anything. Aruto will stay dead and it won't accomplish anything for you," Horobi tells me as I drop my hands to my side. He's not wrong. Nothing will change if I shove him.

"How is Izu doing?"

"I don't know," he answers. "Probably not well considering that Zero-One is now dead. She'll probably be destroyed if the Ark finds her and deems her a threat. Even if that doesn't happen, I'm sure the Ark will eliminate her due to her being on Zero-One's side." 

Aruto is dead and gone and Horobi isn't even concerned about much out. How can he be this cold and distant? How does he not understand how I feel yet? How can he not understand how bad that hurts me?

"Mari, are you feeling alright?" Horobi asks me, sounding a bit concerned about me. He steps closer to me and I push him back. "Mari?"

"I need time to be alone. Horobi, I just want to be alone right now." I do not want to deal with anything right now. How can I live the rest of my life knowing that Aruto is gone for good because of that misstep he made?

Horobi looks me over. "Did I upset you?"

"It isn't you that is upsetting me right now! Everything around me is upsetting me and making everything hurt inside my heart! How can I live in a world knowing that I'm the only human left alive? What happens when I die, Horobi? What happens then?"

He gets closer to me once again, shaking his head. "You won't die, Mari. You're not going to die once we figure out how to copy your memories and all into a new body. Once you die, we can revive you that way."

"What if I want to stay dead for forever? Haven't you thought of that?" I'm human and I should want to die a human death.

"I love you and don't want you to die."

"Horobi..."

"What if I don't want you to die at all? What happens if I only want you to live and be with me for the rest of our lives?" Horobi gets even closer. "Mari, I love you."

I shake my head. "Not at the cost of the countless lives of others. I cannot be happy in such an empty world. There is no happiness in a world like this. Why should I keep living if this is my reality?"

I want order. I want no more chaos and I want to be free. That is what I want. I don't want there to be anymore pain.

"Then open your eyes after closing them. You will see the world that you belong to."