Addiction

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I didn't wake up, not really anyway.
My eyes opened and my mouth did but my shoulders, my arms and my legs never woke up.
Susan was the first person I saw when I woke up. She was sat at the edge of my bed. Her blonde hair a fuzzy mess on her small shoulders. She had a tissue pressed to her mouth with bright red swollen eyes.

I could only seen her from the corners of my eyes and that corner was quickly blocked off by bubbles, Wet bubbles of tears.

I opened my mouth letting out a strained sound. My body felt like it was trapped under a truck and regardless of how bad I wanted to stand up, to find my father... to call my mother. I couldn't move.

A deep sob escapes my mouth and then I heard Susan's gasp. She stands besides me and immediately begins calling my father.

"She woke up again." She exclaimed and the man darts into the room. He's wearing different clothes now, different clothes from the time he said those words.

"Sara, you have to stay awake. Don't fall asleep." He said, panicked. I don't see him walk to my back but I feel his arms there attempting to sit me up on the full size bed but I'm too heavy, I'm too heavy and I can't sit up on my own.

I fall back on the bed with a thud that echoes like thunder in my ear drums.
"Sara," he asked waving fingers on my face.
"Sara, the doctor is on his way." My father continues.

"Mama-" I let out of my throat. Feeling a thick liquid push itself down my throat and choke me.
"Oh CeCe." My father said, solemnly.
"Just hold on." He says and then I see him pick up my hand, I see my hand in his own but I can't feel his skin on my own. All I feel is the weight of the truck pressing my hand down.

Our family doctor, Dr khan walked into the room with a black leader bag strapped to his shoulder. He sits on to my bed.
"Sara, can you see me?" He asked and I tried to nod but I couldn't. My neck was stiff.
"Y-yes." I confirmed weakly.

"Can you feel this?" He asked and I struggle to see what he was referring to. Because I couldn't feel anything.
"No." I can't feel anything.

"Sara, what was the last thing you remember?"
"I fell." I responded quickly.
"After that?"
"I woke up and saw Susan just now."

"What day do you think it is?" Doctor khan asked but I can't answer, I can only groan because the weight is getting heavier.
I can barely keep my eyes open.
"I-I don't know."
"That's okay if you're not sure, just guess."

"Saturday." I said, saturday is when I take my college courses. Saturday is when Vincenzo took me to places I didn't want to go. Saturday is when I was supposed to go to Serena.
"It's Friday August 3rd." The Doctor said and in other situation I would've jumped. But the weight on my body only increased hearing that.
"A-August."
"Yes. On Saturday July 25th you lost consciousness in your home. You woke up, walked around, spoke incoherently and then lost consciousness once more. The ambulance were called and you were admitted to riverside hospital where you continued to wake up and lose consciousness many times. We examined you for many things as well as almost every head injury in the book on account of your fall and found the test to be inconclusive of any trauma. Then we were notified of your condition, conversion disorder. The appearance of symptoms that can not be explained by any physical injury or illness after psychological distress. " the doctor explained and I was a little relieved.

This used to happen to me a lot as a child. It would be horrible for a few days and then one day I'd just wake up and put my shoes on and be ready to go.

" Now your father explained to me that there was once a time that there was a physical injury attributed to the symptoms you're experiencing now. I was told you were hit by a truck and sustained a spinal cord injury that left you paralyzed for a couple months, is that true?"

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