Serving the Commander

I've been here before

The day after punishment was spent secluded in our quarters, Kylo spent the entire day pampering you starting with a slow romantic shared shower taking the time to wash each and every inch not even allowing you to wash your own hair, the remorse obvious 'it's as if he is constantly battling inner demons, one second he's punishing me creating these scrapes and bruises and the second he shows signs of feeling bad as if he shouldn't have caused them. I've tried telling him it's okay that I can handle it, that I enjoy it, I want it but somehow I don't think he believes me.' After the shower he dressed you in comfortable clothes and returned you to bed where the two of you never left, time was spent cuddling or being hand fed or napping off and on. The anxiety of knowing it was almost wasting one of the few days left before Snoke arrived was concerning but it also knowing wasn't a waste at all, being around him in such a calm relaxed environment was a nice change he didn't bring up work once, didn't try to make you use the force, it was almost as if things were totally different, a different time on a different planet the both of you were completely different people who were still madly in love.

Darkness came quickly that day time flew by like it was nothing before you knew it the both of you were fast asleep cuddling close, yourself dreaming about what the last day shared before whatever awaits with Snoke would hold. Waking up before Kylo it's still dark outside and for some reason it's colder than usual, it could possibly be that after a few seconds noticing he has hogged all of the blankets, rolled up into a bundle lying flat on his stomach facing towards the window. Shivering in place scooting as close as possible gently tugging at the covers with no success the full weight of his body heavily pinning them beneath, softly placing a hand on his exposed back feeling the hot tensed muscles then leisurely sliding it across dipping it down along his hip hugging tightly trying to steal any extra warmth.

A quick jerk swiftly flops him onto his back gripping tightly on your arm pulling the hand off his skin "holy crap! Your hand is ice cold!" Trying to resist but laughing anyways "well I wonder why, could it possibly be someone's stolen all the covers, hmmm I wonder?" Looking down realizing its him who has stolen them, quickly apologizing struggling with the twisted blankets for a moment then lifting the covers up gesturing for you to embrace him. Without hesitation almost instantly clinging to him wrapping your arms around tight the instant gratification of warmth easily flowing to your icy flesh, another quick jolted gasp as he resists pushing away the frozen touch. Letting out a low sigh nuzzling into his chest feeling the comforting clutch of his strong arms wrapping tightly around your quivering frame softly kissing your forehead "You're freezing (y/n) I'm sorry I didn't mean too next time just kick me or something I don't want you to get sick." Giggling "noted, actually I might do it just because." Releasing a quick snort he squeezes tighter before the room returns to silence, holding tightly mind racing wondering what he has planned for today if he has anything planned, what will happen tomorrow, is it your last day alive? Perching up on your elbow quietly asking, "what are we going to do today Kylo?" Only met with more silence, looking down noticing he's already fallen back to sleep, sighing again while resting your chin onto his chest watching the features of his face relax with a few twitches here and there 'I guess he must still be tired although I'm not sure how, we basically did nothing all day yesterday.' Watching him for a good twenty minutes before slowly lowering your head back down onto his chest finally having warmed up enough allowing yourself to also fall back asleep.

Suddenly everything is dark and cold feeling so alone and frightened with a phantom pain radiating from somewhere deep and unplaceable, trying to figure out what's going on the sudden realization that you've been here before it's oddly familiar, the dark mass void seems like a distance home a place you've once spent time in but still none the less not being able to remember how you recognize it, off in the distance the sound of shouting becomes apparent the only words understood are "get away! Leave me with her! Don't go, don't leave me!" Hearing your own name repeated under harsh sobbing vocals, listening intently the loud rapid thumping of a heart pulsates throughout the darkness, instantly recognizing it, having fallen asleep to its rhythm for months now knowing it belongs to Kylo but why is he so upset. Speaking out into the fog "what's going on Kylo I'm scared, where am I ?" Your own voice echoes for miles and miles with no response only the somber sound of weeping replies, gradually his figure comes into view you're standing behind it watching its blurry outline barely visible but knowing within its him, all surroundings are black not knowing where this image is taking place.

He's bent over holding something in his arms clutching it tightly, everything is in slow motion watching his figure tremble when suddenly glancing up staring at the sky heavy tears flowing down his face with silent screams finally revealing what he was holding so tightly to, gasping once recognizing it's your own figure laying lifeless in his grasp with your head fallen back a small line of blood running down from your gaping mouth.