Serving the Commander

Empty sheets

Rolling to the side placing your arm out to touch Kylo only to be met with disappointment touching empty sheets, he is already gone from the room. Turning on your back staring at the ceiling collecting yourself before finally climbing out of bed redressing in last night's clothes, going ahead doing your morning chores 'might as well, I'm already in here right?' Once satisfied with his cleaned room and fresh made bed making your way out towards his laundry room walking down the hall laundry basket resting on your hip opening the door you are met with the unwanted figure of James.

"Oh great, what are you doing in here." Saying sharply "I'm stalking you." He says in a creepy tone, your facial expression must have been obvious as he quickly says "I'm joking damn, I'm part of the repair team and I was informed that this machine was broken. I'm just doing my job... wait why are you in here?" Standing there glancing down at the laundry basket you're holding, gesture with your hand "duh...." he blushes before replying "so you work directly for the commander huh? How's that working out for you?" Ignoring his question, asking "is the other machine working so I can do my job?" Shuffling he says, "uh yeah that one's fine." Walking past him loading the washer before grabbing one of the books Doris loaned you, sitting in the chair across the room, you begin reading the mystery novel trying to pay no attention to him.

Time passes before he speaks again breaking the silence "you look a little rough this morning everything okay?" Looking up from the book giving him a dirty look "you sure are a one with words James really, it's none of your business but I haven't been back to my room since last night, I suddenly had no interest in being down that hall." As if the comment goes right above his head "if you didn't stay in your room where did you stay?" Eyes meeting his finding him staring at you harder than comfortable with "that is also none of your business James, honestly I'm pretty confused as to why you are even talking to me."

He turns around returning to the machine, more silence passes as he clangs and screws some bolts before speaking again "look I know you hate me but.." you interrupt him "your right, I do." He pauses before finishing the sentence "but... I know I messed up last time with you and truth be told I've regretted it from the moment it happened." Rolling your eyes "you should." Returning your gaze to the book reading until hearing the chime of the washing machine, standing walking to it beginning to transfer the clothes to the dryer now only feet from him. Feeling him staring at you again, darting him a nasty look saying, "can I help you with something?!" James turns facing you, eyes still glued on you "look I know I fucked up okay? But like it or not there is a connection between us that you can't deny and I'm going to try my hardest to win you back."

Huffing crossing your arms "even if you were the last person in the universe I wouldn't give you the chance to screw me over again, besides like I said before I'm seeing someone and I'll say it again slowly for you... he... would... kick... your.... ass." He has the audacity to laugh saying "I'm not afraid of anyone you know that, plus your worth it. You can push me away all you want (y/n) but I am not going to stop, I am a changed man and I am going to prove it to you. I'll see you later." Before you have the chance to tell him to fuck off he's out the door leaving you fuming with anger 'I don't care if he's a changed man or not I don't and won't ever want him back.' After the clothes are finished drying neatly folding them before returning to Kylo's room replacing the clean linens and other garments heading out towards his office excitement growing seeing him even only for a moment fills your stomach with butterflies.

Walking through the metal doors surprised to see the office empty, looking around waiting patiently for at least twenty minutes before finally walking out heading down the hall towards the lunchroom, the first trooper you see, stopping them "excuse me, have you seen Kylo... I mean the commander I am to report to him, but he wasn't in his office?" The trooper looks you up and down before saying "the commander is away on first order business." Turning the trooper begins walking away, running to catch up to him saying "wait...  wait please, do you know how long he will be gone?" The trooper continues walking as he shrugs, "no idea."

Stopping to catch your breath mind wondering why didn't he tell me he was leaving? When will he be back? Couldn't he have left me a note or something?' Feeling a grumble in your stomach deciding to continue towards the lunchroom after all you skipped breakfast this morning, walking through the line choosing a balanced meal before sitting alone at a table near the back. Enjoying your lunch, glancing up noticing someone walking towards you and of course it would be none other than James, grabbing the tray beginning to stand as he stops you "hey no it's okay finish eating I mean no harm I just saw you all alone so I decided to eat with you."

Sitting back down reluctantly saying, "did it ever cross your mind that maybe I wanted to eat alone?" He shakes his head "nope never did, but I'm here now so guess you have no choice." Frustrated continuing to eat trying to ignore his loud chewing "did you hear the commander is away for at least a month?" Almost choking on your apple, gasping a few times before saying, "no I didn't, how did you hear about it?" He passes you his water cup "are you okay? Take a drink, I'm surprised you didn't know he sent an alert to all his main staff." Swallowing a few sips of his water reluctantly before saying "oh that...yeah I got an alert but I didn't read it I was in a rush this morning..." mind flooding with questions 'okay so he can tell everyone else but not me? He was with me why didn't he tell me in person? Gone a whole month... why?' James pulls you out of your thoughts "so how long have you been with this new guy?"

Snapping your head up thinking about just ignoring him but finally answering "it's Um... pretty recent actually but feels like I've been with him forever." His gaze drops a little bit "that strong of a connection huh? Well where is this guy I'd love to meet him." Blushing looking around trying to see if you can fake a random person "he actually um.... he... he went with the commander, he's remarkably close to him actually he's one of Kylo's best troopers." Hoping he buys it his face studying yours for a moment "so he's a trooper, I didn't figure you the type to go with someone like that." Voice laced with attitude saying "and why not? He respects me and treats me better than anyone I've ever been with; can't say you'd know how that feels would you."

His facial expression changes for a moment you could have sworn it was sadness strewn across it "your wrong, I have felt that before... with you actually. But we both know I fucked that up big time, but even still the only time I've ever felt alive was with you." Choking back tears standing grabbing your tray "yeah James you made me feel alive too, until you didn't. When you decided to break my heart the only thing I felt after that was nothing. So, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go."

Quickly walking out the cafeteria before he can say anything else, just keep walking for a while down hall after hall before stumbling onto an old rusted door, opening the hatch curiosity getting the best of you wandering inside. To your surprise inside is a massive lounge room with rows and rows of books, long floor length curtains covering huge windows, sheet covered sofas and chairs with a long dusty table in the corner toppled with stacks of dirty books.

Walking towards the table to see one of the them lying open, picking it up blowing the dust off noticing it's a journal the pages stained with sloppy ink written handwriting the words read of pain, loneliness, and anger. The way it is written you can tell it was by someone younger, the way they write about pain and deception the longing and confusion mingled into the words. Setting the book back down looking around again before deciding this is going to become your own little hide away 'I can clean it up obviously no one comes in here anymore no one will even know I'm in here, it's perfect.' Leaving the room, glancing once more taking in the potential it has before walking out, heading towards your own quarters.