You're Always in My Heart ❤

Part 25

Shiv’s Pov:

Ananya won’t listen to me, that’s why I didn’t argue with her about going her by taxi that day. Even if I argued, I know she isn’t going to listen to me this time. And I’m the sole reason behind this. I’m hurting her and it’s also hurting me. I’m feeling like a coward right now, who has joined the army to serve the country but doesn’t have enough courage to be with loved ones. Does this feeling come to every soldier, the way I’m feeling right now? Or this is just me, who doesn’t want to see another woman on my mom’s position?

In one moment, I just want to run to Ananya, tell her how much I love her. How desperately I want her to be in my life but … leave it. I dial my mom’s number. My backbone, my warrior.

“How are you, beta?” from other side soothing voice of my mom came.

“I’m good. What about you? Are you taking your meal on time or not?” she doesn’t like to eat alone but the household helper only stays in day time. So, she has to take dinner alone.

“I’m absolutely doing good and also taking my meals on time. Don’t worry for me. Now, tell me why are you sounding low? Are you hiding something from me?” I never hide anything from my mom. I tell her everything. But, how can I tell her my insecurities, my fears?

“Is Ananya alright?” she asked again.

“Yes, mom.” She always asks about Ananya, she is doing fine or not?

“Then, what is the reason behind your sadness, Shiv? You don’t want to share with your mom?” Whatever the situation is, she always stands like a pillar with me. Never let me feel the absence of dad.

“It’s Ananya” I don’t know, how to say it to mom.

“You said She is fine, right. Now, what happened to her?” my puzzle words are making her worried now.

“No, mom. Nothing has happened to her. It’s me, who is hurting her.” I never discuss this type of conversation with her. It’s kind of awkward. It’s not because she is my mom. It’s because, I never talk about this to anyone. Earlier, she just advised me, not to force Ananya to go with me to University. And it was the first day of Ananya in University. After that, as I said she only asked me, how she is adjusting and doing in the new city.

“Shiv, what you are talking about, I’m not getting it. Say it clearly.” She said it, kind of sternly.

“I don’t want her to go through, the way you have been going after dad’s death.” I told her.

“Shiv, what happened, happened. It was in our faith. It’s not like what happened in the past with your dad, the same will repeat with you. Remember, it was in the past. Stop thinking negatively. Don’t carry this type of thoughts in your mind. It will affect your life. And did I teach my only son to be a coward? No, right? You’re a fighter, like your dad. From now on, don’t think that way.” Yes, she is right. I’m not a coward. I’m a fighter, like my dad. I won’t let you down, dad. Whatever happened, it was in the past, I have to live in present to make a better future. It is easy and simple, why did not I realise it earlier? I was acting like a fool. It was not enough that I even created the whole drama.

“I won’t think, mom” I assured her.

“We are proud of you, beta. Where you are standing right now, it’s because of your hard work. Don’t let your insecurities come to your path. Learn to face the problem and move forward. Bye, take care of yourself.” I’m feeling relief now, like the burden has lifted up from my shoulders.