You're Always in My Heart ❤

Part 22

Ananya's pov:

I'm sitting on a chair at our pg balcony. I came out from room because our 1st term examination is going on. And I'm in middle of the talking with Shiv. Captain Kapoor. He is becoming sweet day by day. Yeah, that was a sarcasm.

"When are you going to take me to the dinner date Miss Ananya Singh?" And it's normal for me to hear this type of question from Shiv. He knows that in this week, it's not possible for me because of my 1st term exam. But being Mr Shiv Kapoor, he never forget to ask me about the dinner whenever he calls me. I know, he is just teasing me. Here is, one big revelation. Captain Shiv Kapoor loves to tease me. Yeah, you heard me right.

"Hey, I'm just reminding you. In case if you forgot because of your exam load." His justification for everytime. I heard this line from last week.

"How can I forget if you remind me everytime you call." I rolled my eyes. One plus point he can't see me.

"I know but I don't want to die and become a martyr without going on a date with you."

"Are you serious Shiv? How can you say this type of words? Don't call me again. Bye." I snapped at him and cut the call. How can he say that? I don't know why tears are coming out of my eyes. This is what I most feared in my life. Losing my dearest ones. I'm scared of losing people. I can't imagine him in that situation. I know, a soldier means to give his whole life and soul for his country. But that doesn't mean to say I'll die and become a martyr. How can even he think about that and most importantly said that? Even if he jokingly said that, this was the worst joke I ever heard. He called many times but I didn't answered. I don't want to talk to him right now.

I put my mobile on silent because Shiv is still calling me. I went to my room without creating much noise. Harshi is soundly sleeping resting her head on the table. She slept while reading her books. This sleeping position will give her neck pain tomorrow. So, I try to wake her up.

"Harshi. Harshi."

"Ummmmm..." she slowly open her eyes.

"I slept right? Arrgghhh! I'll get a big 0 on this paper." Saying this she went to the bed and slept again. She revised two or three times but according to her, she isn't good enough at this paper. So, she's having a confidence issue right now. But I know, she'll rock it tomorrow.

Talking about my exam, I've only practical exam tomorrow. So, I don't have to worry much because I did all the practicals so many times that I have memorized all the steps.

I lay down on my bed and check my phone before sleeping. Three Messages from Shiv. I open it.

Ananya, I'm really sorry. It was just slip of tongue. I didn't mean it.

I won't say anything about dying from now on. I swear.

Ananya, pick up my call. Please..

The last one is few minutes ago. Did I harsh on him? No, right? If I was, tell me Who would love to hear about dying and all? Here I'm sacred of losing people and he is thinking about dying. His name flashing on my screen. This time, I would receive because a part of me don't want to angry on him anymore but I'm still angry with him. I answered the call but didn't say anything. He wanted to talk, let him talk. What else he has to say other than dying.

"Ananya, I know you're angry with me. I didn't have to say that and I'm really sorry. But this is the fact. We don't know when we'll die, at what situation and where. I have thought and realise that as an individual I don't have anyone to worry about me if I die and no one would be hurt other than mom. Because, I saw my mother how she went through when my dad died. So, I have decided that as we promised we'll go out for the dinner. But after that dinner, I won't disturb you anymore. Because I don't want you to go through the way my mom went. I know, we're not even in relationship but my love for you will always be in my heart. Yes, I wasn't sure but today I'm sure enough to tell you that I love you. But as I said I won't disturb you. Good night. Bye " this is what he wanted to say. After hearing this, I'm trying to control my tears. This Shiv is different. Really different. He is selfish. The Shiv I knew, he was very sweet and warm person. I don't know him. Whatever he said, his words are jumbled in my mind. He won't disturb me anymore means no contact and all between us. So, he will leave me.

Like he said he wasn't sure even I wasn't. But today I have also realised that I like him, it's more than like I guess. If it is called love than I love him and i don't want to lose him. He said he loves me. If he loves me why he didn't ask me, what I want. What if I want to be with him knowing of all this like my mummy is with papa and his mom were with his dad. That's it. I dial his number.

"Hello" his voice is sounding sad.

"You told me that you love me. Right? Then why don't you want to take the responsibility and face the reality like every soldier is taking. Why? You don't have that courage? Tell me Captain. Like you said, you don't know where you'll die, even I don't know when I'll die. What if I would die tomorrow?"

"Ananya, don't talk about dying. I say don't. " now he would realise, how it feels when your dearest one said about dying.

"You start it first, now I'm ending it here. I Love You Captain Shiv Kapoor and I'm going to disturb you from now on beyond of your thinking. So, prepare for it. All the best. Good night." Did I confess my love for him just now? I can't believe it. Few hours ago, I was more than confused but now I confessed. This is the power of love, I guess.

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Shiv's pov:

I'm regretting now. How can I say that? I called her many times but didn't receive it. So, I text her.

When I joined Indian Army, even I told my mom the same and she knows that she has experienced this. That's why she didn't want me to join army. I know the feeling. I know, how it feels when someone near to your heart passed away. When you know that you can't see him anymore, can't talk with him, can't share your feelings with him. I have seen my mom, when she cried, looking at my dad photo. She is living with his memories.

What I said to Ananya, it was just slip of tongue. But What if I really die? What will happen to Ananya? She will go through like my mom has been going since my dad died. Why didn't I think about it? I already told her that I like her. Why did i initiate it? Because i don't have rights to destroy a girl's life for lifetime. I can't see her in that position where my mom is standing today. This is all my fault. Turning the simple dinner to dinner date, teasing her, showing my love for her. But I love her. I love her. She has every right to live her life who can be with her, pamper her. And I can't promise that.

I need to talk with her. I know, she isn't going to receive my call. She is angry with me. I have messaged her. I have waited but no response from her side. So, I dial her number. She received my call but she's not saying anything. I told her my decision. I decide and made my mind that we can't be together and it's for good. For her. I always want to see her happy and smiley face but I guess I can't give her that happiness. She didn't interrupt in between my talks. This was good because if I heard her voice, I couldn't say anything to her what I was thinking to tell her. But the confession was totally out of my list. That directly came from my heart. I'm totally crazy. Crazy in love with her. But we can't be together. This is the reality and I have to live with it. It makes me very sad after telling her all of this. This won't be easy for me.

All my thoughts broke, when I see "Ananya is calling". A call from Ananya is like once in a blue moon. It happens very rarely. I would be happy if it happened other day. But today I don't have that spirit.

"Hello" I greeted her.

"You told me that you love me. Right? Then why don't you want to take the responsibility and face the reality like every soldier is taking. Why? You don't have that courage? Tell me Captain. Like you said, you don't know where you'll die, even I don't know when I'll die. What if I would die tomorrow?" Is she going mad? Talking about responsibility and face the reality, I know what will happen if I take it. Why can't she understand the simple thing that I don't want to see her sad like my mom. And I already regretted and said sorry to her but now she is talking about dying.

"Ananya, don't talk about dying. I say don't. " why are you testing my patience Ananya? Why?

"You start it first, now I'm ending it here. I Love You Captain Shiv Kapoor and I'm going to disturb you from now on beyond of your thinking. So, prepare for it. All the best. Good night." Ananya Singh confessed her love for me. She didn't understand and she isn't even trying to understand what I said to her. But I already made my mind Ananya. I won't destroy your life. I won't take your happiness from you....

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