By My Side (SakusaxReader)

Chapter XVI- Complicated

Sakusa POV

What the hell am I doing?

Seriously? Good night, that's it? You really are a big idiot Kiyoomi! I lost my chance!

After I said good night, I began walking away in a normal pace and when her house is not in sight anymore, I ran to my house. I was panting hard as I was arguing in my mind.

This is so messed up!

How can I approach her tomorrow if I keep acting like this? Would she even like me back?

My mind went back to the moment where she said 'The moon is lovely, isn't it?', I thought that she likes me back. And I even said that I like her.

But then just why did I panicked and said that it was the moon I liked?

That was supposed to be my chance but I totally blew it up! Great, how great. I can't believe I'm much more of an idiot than those stupid annoying fox!

And when I called her when she was about to go inside her house, why the hell did I hesitate? I even blew up my second chance!

If I'll keep acting weird like this, she might distance herself away from me like I did to the germs. Gosh, just what am I going to do now?

Guess I'll have to ask Komori for more advice.

I arrived at my house then directly ran to my room, I didn't even have the appetite to eat anymore. I was getting anxious about her. I can't stop thinking about her.

I flopped down in my bed, burying my face into the pillow and I didn't even bother changing my clothes. I don't want her to start avoiding me tomorrow.

What if tomorrow someone will really take her away? Or in another day? Dammit! Why did have to be a coward in front of her, Kiyoomi??!?!

I took out my phone then went to Komori's number. I don't want to dial him since he'll annoy me more.

••••

Me: Komori, you awake? I need to ask you about something?

I waited for his reply and hope that he is still awake. A minute later, my phone beeped and I got a reply from him.

Komori: Oh hey Sakusa! How was it? Are you to finally together?

I should've expected that he would ask me that question. Gosh, I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

Me: I messed up....Twice.

Komori: WHAT???!? How did you even confess to her?!?!

Me: Well, we were walking home late at night since the train was so stuffed. And she said 'The moon is lovely, isn't it', so I said that I like her.

Komori: She probably did likes you if she said that. That phrase was quite famous in some novels.
So why did you said you messed it up?

Me: I panicked then said that it was the moon I was talking about so she just let it off.

Komori: You said you messed up twice and why is that?

Me: ...

I don't even want to type the whole thing since I don't want to be reminded of what kind of an idiot I am a while ago.

Komori: What do you mean by '...' ?

Me: Well, when she was about to go inside her house I was about to finally confess my feelings for her. But then, I was afraid that she might reject me after this.. So I just told her good night.