High On Life

59: The Inevitable

Nida's POV:

"Tum mujhe talaaq(divorce) dena chahti ho, go ahead. End this. End your pain. Your suffering. Phir tumhein meri taraf se koi shikaayat nahi mile gi."

His words rang through my head, piercing my eardrums and I just laid there with uncontrollable emotions.

Talaaq....Nahi. Mein marr jaaoungi iss dard mein par tumhein kabhi talaaq nahi doongi.

I just laid there for an eternity, wishing to die so I could join them both, see their faces again. But invain.

I looked at the wall clock that was the only source of sound in this room besides my helpless cries. It was 3 am.

I got off the bed and opened the door and went outside. Slowly descending downstairs, I held in my emotions so tightly that it hurted inside. Halfway through, I saw him asleep on the couch, his back to me.

I reached the end of the stairs and walked to where the living room was set up. I sneaked closer and stood in front of him.

He just laid there, looking pretty much dead with that pale face and hair in a mess. Tears well up in my eyes immediately and I quickly covered my mouth hard enough to stop a weep from escaping me as I just stood there staring at his condition.

My tears kept dripping down to the rug under my feet and I just fell on my knees, crying my heart out, but with my hand still over my mouth so that no sound emerges from me.

Kiyun itna dard hai iss pyaar mein.

I just covered my face in my hands and laid down next to his couch on the cold marble floors as I cried silently. I tied my mouth with mom's dupatta that I had worn around my neck, and just cried my eyes out.

***

I woke up by a strange sound and looked up quickly to find him shuffling on the couch as he changed his side.

I removed the dupatta off my mouth and glanced at the grandfather clock that was kept in the corner of the living room and saw that it was 6 am.

I got up quietly and went into the kitchen as her memories flooded back to me. A tear left my lashline and I quickly wiped it off as I turned on the stove and made pancakes since it was the quickest dish possible.

Uss ne kuch khaaya bhi nahi kal, sivaye unn parathon ke jo....meine uss ke liye banaye thay.

I was done and just grabbed the tray which had the pancakes and a glass of fresh orange juice and headed out the kitchen for the living room.

I kept it on the center table and just pondered over a way to wake him up. I just gulped and reluctantly touched his shoulder.

He woke up all of a sudden as if gotten scared and glanced at me for just a second before shifting his gaze to the ground.

I kept the tray on one of the smaller serving tables and moved it in his direction.

He glanced at it for a second and spoke. "Mujhe bhook nahi hai."

I just stayed silent and went into the kitchen and took deep breaths, trying not to cry.

Mein nahi khaaoungi to...woh bhi nahi khaaye ga?

I went up and quickly changed into a large warm navy blue hoodie and black jeans. I didn't freshen up or dress up the way I used to and just wore my worn out sneakers as I ran downstairs and grabbed the keys to my car and right when I was about to head out the front door, he grabbed my wrist.

"Where are you going?" He asked calmly.

"Wherever I go and whatever I do, is none of your business anymore. So let go of me !" I clenched my fist.