Senseless Abyss (Zero-One Fanfic)

-Chapter 84

"It..."

"Can't answer that can you? It was a failure wasn't it? Mari, there is a lot you have to learn about life and what it can offer you. You also have a lot to learn about me and what I can offer for you and your future." What can he possibly offer me that doesn't involve pain and despair?

"..." I don't know what I can say to him in this moment. I had a moment of confidence and he snuffed it out by bringing up Aruto.

He grabs my hand and pulls me towards the bathroom. He turns on the light with his free hand he pushes me forward, making me stand in front of the giant mirror. He releases my hand and places his hands under my face, making me turn to face the mirror.

"That face of yours has changed your entire life. You're able to live with that face of yours thanks to me. You would still be Allen's target if you had that old face of yours and you wouldn't have gotten away from him for so long. You owe me for going out of my way for you to get rid of that face." That face? 

Thanks to him I can live? Who asked him to do this to me? Just because I didn't care about what face I would end up with, doesn't mean I wanted what he wanted me to have! Who gave him the right to do this to my face?

"Take a good look at yourself," he orders. "Look at your face, now."

I look at my reflection, which is pretty nice looking despite my red looking eyes, and he releases his hold on my face. The woman in the mirror has dark hair and sad eyes. Is her face pretty? Yes, it is pretty. Is it worth having a face like this if all you have to face is hardships? No, it isn't.

"You're the way you are thanks to me. Without me, you wouldn't be the wife of a successful businessman," Gai tells me and my eyes go to him in the mirror. "You made the right choice by marrying me. No one forced you to decide to marry me. You told me you accepted my offer and it was because you cared more about yourself than anyone else. If you truly loved Horobi, you should have joined him by admitting to being a terrorist. He's all alone because of you."

"I..." He knows nothing about how I truly feel for Horobi. How can he act like I didn't care for him? 

I thought of being with Horobi and not leaving his side. I wanted to live with him, but it was the wrong thing to do. He's a HumaGear and we don't mix. That doesn't mean I don't love him, but that I did the right thing for the both of us.

"I wanted to love you," I say, my voice low. I really wanted to try and love Gai, but he makes it impossible to ever love him. 

"You should have faced reality. Did you really think that you could love someone like me? You knew nothing about me, yet you said yes to being my wife. You took my word on it that i would out you as a MetsubouJinrai member. You saved your own ass because you were selfish."

I place my hands on his and pull his hands off my face. I shove him off and look at the mirror as my eyes burn. How can he give me this face and act like it was the right thing to do? He decided my fate from the moment he laid eyes on me and I have no idea why he did. Was there a problem with my face to him?

Why should I like this face now? I get that I'm still beautiful, but he gave me this face. This face is only going to bring me bad luck if I keep it. It has brought me misery and I cannot end the pain it has brought to me. I have to destroy it. I have to ruin this face to punish this man for his malice. 

His malice is the reason why there is so much pain in this world. I shall punish him for inflicting harm onto the world and trying to destroy the way it is. That is the...that is the...what am I thinking about again?

I lift up my hand and bring it against the mirror, shattering it as I look down. "Mari!" Gai exclaims, sounding surprised. He didn't see that coming.