more than a girlfriend - billie eilish

in the valley

title: die alone - finneas (i couldn't think of anything else)

billie's POV

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"come on bil, let's go" elle begs, trying to pull me out of the room. "i told you i am not doing that, you know how terrified i am of the water." i shake my head and hold onto the door frame as she grabs my legs and tries to carry me out. "maybe this will help you get over it" she argues. "i'm scared" i pout. "ugh, fine. but we are at least snorkeling at some point on this trip." she groans and puts me down. "maybe" i sigh and she claps.  "okay, i have already gotten us a private ATV tour, we get to drive four wheelers" i explain with a smile. "that actually does so fun. i was planning on shutting it down immediately like you did my idea but i'd really enjoy that" she bows her head and her voice gets softer throughout the sentence. "alright, it's in like an hour. i wonder what we, newly weds, could do with an hour of free time. maybe we could.... workout? " i recommend, putting my hands on her hips and pulling me close to me. "i think i catch your drift" she nods. "we could have a dance party" she suggests with a smile. "that.... that was what i was going to say" i lie. "fuck yeah" she whispers and plays music through her speaker. "i'm kidding, i get what you want" she smirks and pulls me into a kiss by my shirt. 

"never done that before" i laugh breathlessly as we pant laying next to each other. "nope" she shakes her head, laughing along with me a little. "we better get dressed" i suggest, still breathing heavily. "you're probably right" she nods. i stand up and collect my clothes from the floor. "help" she groans. "aw, poor baby" i frown and help her up. she struggles to walk but eventually gathers all of her clothes. "do you want me to cancel the tour?" i ask. "no, i'll be fine" she waves it off. "are you sure?" i ask. "positive" she says with a small smile, booping my nose after pulling baggy shorts on. i finish getting ready and once she is dressed we head out the door. 

the instructor tells us what to do and starts down the trail. elle is holding onto my waist because she was too scared to drive alone. she rests her head on my shoulder and i follow the guy leading us around. "bro how about we speed this up a bit?!" i yell. "got it!" he agrees. luckily he's around our age so we didn't get a boring instructor. he speeds up and i giggle as elle screams once i accelerate. "you're fine" i laugh. "watch out for the bump!" the guy yells. she keeps her arms around me tightly and i go over the bump, making us bounce a little and she screams once again. 

after about an hour or two we get back to our little house and elle collapses on the bed. "i know i scared you with the four wheelers and all the jumps and shit so i guess we can go scuba diving." i sigh and bow my head. "oh my god thank you! i mean.... are you sure?" she asks. "yeah, anything to make you happy" i smile a little and kiss her nose. "you're adorable" she giggles and boops my nose. "i know you are but what am i?" i ask in a baby voice, making her giggle even more. "i'll book us a session for tomorrow" she tells me. "alright" i agree and lay down. she lays beside me and snuggles against me, allowing me to put my arm over her. "i love you" i whisper and kiss the top of her head. "i love you more" she responds with a mischievous smile. "i am concurring my biggest fear for you!" i remind her. "oh shit yeah. that doesn't mean you don't love me more. i face my greatest fear whenever i go to when of your concerts! you know i'm scared of big crowds but i face it because i love seeing you do what you love. and if you wanted me to, i would face my arachibutyrophobia." she answers. "what is a- i'm not even going to try to say it. what is that?" i furrow my eyebrows. "i don't want to say." she bows her head. "come on, what is it?" i ask. "it's the fear of peanut butter being stuck to the roof of your mouth." she mumbles. "wh-why?" i ask. "several reasons! it can cause choking and father used to force me to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when i didn't want to eat. one time i swear he put some sort of drug in it" she explains. "oh, i'm sorry honey. you never told me that" i frown and hold her closer to me. "i thought you'd make fun of me. it's a dumb phobia" she shrugs. "i wouldn't make fun of you for being afraid of something" i assure her. "thank you. i love you" she says with a small smile and kisses me. "i love you too" i respond and wrap both of my arms around her before closing my eyes.