Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by JJ: A Storm on the Mountain

Title: A Storm on the Mountain

Author: amaranthinepoetry

Reviewer: Jumping_Jiminys

Cover: 4/5

It's straightforward. However, the simplest things have the most significant impact. The quality is done well, and everything looks crisp and clear. One thing (which might be very nit-picky of me) is that you could centre the A to line up with the tip of the mountain making the tile look like a mountain as well.

Summary: 5/5

You have a fantastic way of writing that is consistent across the books I have read of yours, and I still fall in love with it every time I read one of your works.

Spelling, Vocabulary + Grammar: 12/15

Capital letter on "East", "North", and "South" [Chapter II]

"He didn't like to speak TO a lot OF people..." [Chapter II]

"...as if replying TO the man at the counter..." [Chapter II]

I would remove the "the" -> "The place was moist now, sticky and brown from below..." [Chapter II]

No need for the capital letter after the exclamation mark -> "...I will bring!" replied Aanav." [Chapter II]

No need for the capital letter after the closing speech marks "Bah! Bah!" the sheep began." [Chapter II]

Sentence Structure + Paragraphing: 11/15

New paragraph for "Aanav closed his eyes..." [Chapter I]

New paragraph for the dialogue "Come on, now." [Chapter I]

New paragraph for "It was music to his ears..." [Chapter I]

New paragraph for "He picked up a handful of thin..." [Chapter I]

New paragraph for "Trinkets of water still dripped..." [Chapter I]

New paragraph for "The sounds echoed..." [Chapter II]

New paragraph for dialogue "Wha!" [Chapter II]

New paragraph for "Eventually every part..." [Chapter IV]

Description: 5/5

I enjoy how old school your writing, and that not everything is direct. There's an elegance to your writing which is rare and unique. I notice you personify a lot of inanimate objects with your descriptions which is interesting to read and makes everything seem so lively.

Plot Development: 5/5

Your pacing is well thought out. How have I read a chapter about someone cutting vegetables and not felt bored or felt as though things are moving slowly? Your writing matches your pacing, and it's a beautiful balance you've created.

Characterisation: 5/5

Aanev a simple man who is just there to read a good book and enjoy the simple things, and one day I hope to reach that level of contentment and peace.

Character Interactions + Relationships: 5/5

You can see why Aanav is the way he is especially reading chapter 4. Seeing the home environment he had to endure, it's no wonder that he's decided to avoid human contact and seek company with Butter.

Creativity + Originality: 5/5

Your books always stand apart, and this is another excellent example of that originality and to be honest, it's even more refreshing because of that. Much like the place this story is set, this book is like a little pocket of peace and seclusion that some people don't know they need.

Writing Quality: 5/5

Your writing makes me feel relaxed. Your writing is like summer 2014 -- just warm and beautiful to be surrounded by it (if that makes any sense). It relaxes the soul.

OVERALL SCORE: 62/70