Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by JJ: Tainted Blood

Title: Tainted Blood

Author: MLT1993

Reviewer: Jumping_Jiminys

Cover: 4/5

It does the job everything is clear and well placed. I don't know how much of a graphics enthusiast you are but it does feel as though it's just a picture with some text on it.

Summary: 5/5

You've done well explaining the characters involved and the stakes in the summary without completing explaining the story to the reader, leaving a bit of mystery.

Spelling, Vocabulary + Grammar: 10/15

So I noticed the most recurring issue was when to use a comma at the end of the dialogue. When dialogue ends with a dialogue tag you use a comma e.g. "Your writing is amazing," JJ said. The dialogue tag being "JJ said".

When dialogue ends with an action, you use a full stop. e.g. "Your writing is amazing." JJ gave you a thumbs up. The action being "JJ gave you a thumbs up."

There were times when that was properly executed so it might be a case where you just need to proofread.

"The price for revenge might cost Alex her or her brother's lives." [Story summary]

A comma instead of a full stop "She'll be fine," Ryder said." [Chapter 1]

A comma instead of a full stop "She won't do anything if she's dead, Ryder," Nikolai shouted. [Chapter 1]

A comma instead of a full stop "Come on, Alex," Nikolai spoke." [Chapter 1]

A comma instead of a full stop "Get to the jet, Alex," Nikolai commanded..." [Chapter 1]

A comma instead of a full stop "You'll come out at the start fo the forest," Lev said." [Chpater 1]

"Would her brothers FINISH their mission?" [Chapter 1]

A full stop instead of a comma "You look terrible." Lev grinned." [Chapter 1]

A full stop instead of a comma "Here, take these." Nikolai offered..." [Chapter 1]

A comma instead of a full stop "And a few other things," Nikolai said." [Chapter 1]

A comma instead of a full stop "What you're going to get is a doctor, so shut up," Nikolai replied." [Chapter 1]

A comma instead of a full stop "Don't move," Kellin said."

"...while he GETS a step ahead." [Chapter 1]

"Was Dimitri A PART of their parents' deaths?" [Chapter 1]

"...however, Nikolai PUSHED her back into her seat." [Chapter 1]

New paragraph for dialogue "I got you." [Chapter 2]

A full stop instead of a comma "Come on, Lexi. I'm getting hungry." Ryder pouted..." [Chapter 2]

"Did he really just ASK that?" [Chapter 3]

A comma instead of a full stop "Not yet. I think I finally got through to her," Nikolai said." [Chapter 3]

"Before Mum and Da's murder..." [Chapter 3]

New paragraph for dialogue "I have eyes on the target." [Chapter 4]

New paragraph for dialogue "Guys, movement on the ground to the right of the house." [Chapter 4]

"Now, watching them move from a distance, she had to wonder IF they taking advantage..." [Chapter 4]

Sentence Structure + Paragraphing: 13/15

New paragraph for "With her sniper rifle clamped under her right arm..." [Chapter 4]

New paragraph for "It's so easy in the gym..." [Chapter 4]

New paragraph for "It hurt that they'd put her..." [Chapter 4]

New paragraph for "This could be the man..." [Chapter 4]

Description: 5/5

I really love your description. Despite this story being in 3rd POV I still feel very much connected to Alex and getting to read her thoughts and feelings are fantastically done.

What I love most is how in-depth Alex's thoughts are. Her internal conflict is for the highlight of every chapter. When she makes rash decisions you see it coming fro a mile away and it never goes against her character. I love it.

Plot Development: 5/5

You've done a marvellous job not only setting out the plot in the story summary but setting the story straight into drive from chapter one. What I liked most is the secrets kept in the family that will further drive the plot and the characters throughout. So not only do you have the siblings looking for their parent's killer you have the fact that Alx has seen a future in which her brothers are supposedly dead and you have that the guy they are chasing isn't the guy who killed Alex. As a reader I'm just here screaming in my head "if you just communicate this problem would be resolved" but that'd be no fun.

Characterisation: 5/5

There's always the risk of having too many characters that they tend to become one of the same with no real personality or uniqueness to them. Even in chapter 2, I know who's whos (besides Alex) which is really well done. I know as we go further we will see her interact with her other brothers and begin to see the family grow on the readers.

Character Interactions + Relationships: 5/5

Usually a cringe at sibling relationships. At times they can come off forced and unnatural. You, however, have perfectly displayed everything you'd expect from this kind of family dynamic and this is one of the reasons why I found this book such a pleasure to read.

Creativity/Originality: 5/5

Sibling assassins, badass female. I've read that before but the way you portrayed it making it your own as well was the icing on the cake.

Writing Quality: 5/5

I love your writing, my favourtie aspect is how you take the reader into the character's head and for me, that's one of your strongest traits.

OVERALL SCORE: 62/70