Review by Cherylene: The Celestials

48 5 1
                                    

Title: The Celestials

Author: Lorabooknerd

Reviewer: QuinerSacyLove


Summary: 2.5/5

The summary is really confusing. The different paragraphs have no link at all. I guess you wanted to be mysterious, but then, providing no names at all can be confusing for the readers. I highly suggest that you change the blurb.


Grammar: 2/5

Here, I will explain with a few examples.

"Yes." the three answered in unison.

Firstly, when you are describing how the dialogue is being said, you should put a comma. Secondly, after a full stop in the dialogue, the first letter will be capitalized.

But she cut me off" It's hard, even for us."

Firstly, the has to be a full stop after off. Secondly, there is no space after a quotation mark. 

Also, there are too many exclamation points. Everything that is exclaimed makes the book less serious. 

I think you need to work on your grammar.


Character Building: 3/5

I definitely can't say that I can picture the MC. At this point, the only character which I can remotely picture is the mystery boy. I suggest you try to weave a little bit of character habits, quirks, downs etc. into the chapters.


Writing Style: 3.5/5

Again, the same reasons mentioned in the above two paragraphs. I think it makes your writing look a little forced.


Plot + Originality: 5/5

Your plot if unique, given there is a girl, who doesn't know she can do magic and has a otherworldy being in her mind.


OVERALL SCORE: 16/25

I can assure you that the plot is good, but the way of expressing things and the flow doesn't go well. Do tell me if this helped you.


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