Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by Sunshine: The Swiss Murder

Title: The Swiss Murder

Author: MahaTaqi

Summary: 4.5/5

Simply fantastic. I nearly forgot to write about this section of the review because I just wanted to get on with reading the story. I think it's fantastic how you introduce the summary with the context that led to the murder/suicide, I like how you subtly introduce the setting, and then move on to introduce the protagonist and the stakes. Your summary is pretty much perfect, in my eyes. Well done!

One very small note:

Join Detective Levi, a sharp and extremely skilled individual to get to the bottom of this mystery.

You are missing a comma. It should be:

Join Detective Levi, a sharp and extremely skilled individual, to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Otherwise, fantastic work!

Also, I don't usually mention covers. However, I must say, your cover is simply stunning. 

Grammar: 3/5

Your grammar is pretty good, however, there were definitely a few things I picked up on – especially where dialogue is involved.

If dialogue is followed by a verbal dialogue tag (such as 'he said', 'she whispered', 'she exclaimed' – or anything referring to how the character says the words), there should be a comma before the closing inverted commas. If it's anything else, this comma should be replaced by a period (or a question mark for a question and exclamation mark for an exclamation). For example:

"Need a break from my family." Scarlett said while getting up from her position.

It should be:

"Need a break from my family," Scarlett said while getting up from her position.

Make sure your punctuation marks come before the closing inverted commas. For example:

"Be realistic, Emma", she thought.

It should be:

"Be realistic, Emma," she thought.

And make sure there is a space between the closing inverted commas and the tag following it. For example:

"What are you doing for Christmas this year?"Scarlett asked Emma.

It should be:

"What are you doing for Christmas this year?" Scarlett asked Emma.

Next, watch out for tenses. There are times where you fluctuate from past tense to present tense. For example:

They were all gathered in Emma's room, urging her to hurry up before the leave her alone and go downstairs to eat.

If we break it up:

They were all gathered... [were = past tense]

...leave her alone and go downstairs to eat. [leave, go = present tense]

Next, proper nouns. When words such as 'mum' and 'dad' are being used as proper nouns (as in, that is what replaces their name), then they must be capitalised. Basically, if you say, "Mum did this", you need to capitalise it, but if you say, "my mum did this", there is no need for a capital letter. Example:

"...especially since mum and dad aren't going to attend."

It should be either:

"...especially since Mum and Dad aren't going to attend."