Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by JJ: A Tale of Two Brothers

Title: A Tale of Two Brothers

Author: amaranthinepoetry

Reviewer: Jumping_Jiminys

Cover: 3/5

I would make your stickers smaller, as they take up too much space on your cover and detract from the cover, making it almost impossible to see what's behind them. I would suggest making the stickers smaller and moving them to the top right or left corner so readers can see your cover and also your stickers.

Summary: 4/5

It certainly does the job. Perhaps add an excerpt just before the summary something that will make the reader curious and bring them into the story before they've even read it yet.

Spelling, Vocabulary, Grammar: 10/15

The capitalised words are the corrected edits: 

"Where are we going? Rudra ASKED." [Chapter 1]

"Adrith then stopped for a second, looking behind, BEYOND his brother's..." [Chapter 1]

"THEIR father didn't argue as much, but THEIR mother..." [Chapter 2]

"...wafted of chicken curry THEIR mother would whip up." [Chapter 2]

"...and so THEIR mother would add..." [Chapter 2]

"Lately, Adrith was JOINED by his father..." [Chapter 2]

Space between "up" and "to" [Chapter 2]

"ANYWAYS I don't like..." [Chapter 2]

"THEIR father cut in..." [Chapter 2]

"Rudra only rolled his eyes and LAID his book down..." [Chapter 2]

Sentence Structure + Paragraphing: 4/5

Start a new paragraph for "The small room that he shared..." [Chapter 1]

Start a new paragraph for "Their father was wise..." [Chapter 1]

New paragraph for "He kept wondering what could it be..." [Chapter 2]

New paragraph for "The roads were..." [Chapter 3]

"...there were clouds in mid-air, but WERE ONLY MADE UP OF loose soil and smoke." [Chapter 3]

Description: 5/5

I love the way you describe; it's almost poetic, the way you phrase your sentences. You've done it in a way where it doesn't feel like, as a reader, I am being overwhelmed by information -- information that I may not even remember. Instead, you weave it through the story setting and the mood, laying out the scenery to bring your readers in.

Plot Development: 3/5

In the four chapters that I read, it seems as though you are still laying out the story. We are currently following Rudr and Adrith as they grow up and I am sure when they reach a pinnacle age of about 20/21, that is when the plot will begin to take over and establish itself.

Characterisation: 5/5

I'm a big fan of reading other cultures and also a historical fiction lover, so this was a mix of both, and it was very insightful to read a time before, especially in another country. I felt your characters were right where they should be, and the way they thought and spoke and their general opinions and morals reflected the time and the place that this story is set.

Character Interactions + Relationships: 5/5

Adrith and Rudra are everything you'd expect of brothers -- contrasting yet complimenting each other each with their own desires and opinions. Usually, I cringe away from that stereotype -- I hate sibling rivalry because, occasionally, it's over dramatised and not always accurate. Here, I think you have the right balance between sibling rivalry and "we're family", which is probably another reason why I enjoy the story so much.

Creativity + Originality: 5/5

I don't think I've read a story set in India during the time of a young Gandhi and WW2, so this was new to me and in a good way. It opened me up to another sector of literature that doesn't often get much light.

Writing Quality: 5/5

I enjoyed your writing. I've read your short stories before, so it's great to see that style is consistent throughout your books. I really enjoyed that your POV is a third-person omniscient narrator. At times, I find them boring or far too intrusive when it's leaning in to breaking the fourth wall (and the risk of too much exposition). However, you've got a good balance with your narration. 

OVERALL SCORE: 49/60