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Review by Maryam: Stormy Side Down

Title: Stormy Side Down

Author: cloudyyj

Reviewer: Marykhah77

Summary: [no score - will not be added to final score]

Since your summary isn't a traditional summary, I cannot score it.

However, I do like the excerpt. It gives a sort of a theme for the story, so I really liked. I also liked that you told us what fandom it's about; authors sometimes forget to mention that. Though, I'm not a huge fan of BTS, I kept an open mind whilst reading. 

Grammar + Punctuation: 4/5

Your grammar, for the most part, was really well done. There weren't visible errors, and you used semi-colons and colons correctly—which is very impressive considering they're most complex.

But, I did find an issue with your dialogue. When you write dialogue, you have to know what verbal tags are. They usually are a phrase before or after a quotation marks that tell how a character say something. For example: she said, they asked, he replied. 

When you use those, you have to make sure they're not capitalized. You seemed to know to replace periods into commas and make the verbal tag not capitalized. It looked like you didn't know to keep it not capitalized when you used a question mark or exclamation point. Here's an example: 

"Um, is Hoseok with you?" You questioned...

There, you would have to make the verbal tag after it not capitalized. Correct it to:

"Um, is Hoseok with you?" you questioned...

Also, there were occasional slip-ups. I don't know if this was a mistake or you truly didn't know, but you did have some instances when you didn't use a comma instead of a period. 

"I thought something happened to you! Anyway, you're okay now." You replied in tears...

The excerpt above is incorrect. 

"I thought something happened to you! Anyway, you're okay now," you replied in tears...

That is the correct way to write it. 

It was strange for me to read; the first chapter had absolutely no flaws in dialogue, but as I continued, there seemed to be more. Again, this is a very easy thing to correct, but it was a mistake, nonetheless. 

Plot Development: 5/5

I adored the plot. A good story has external problems, but it also has internal problems. It was refreshing to sit down and read the story. I'm waiting for the next update!

Can I also say that your writing is very unique? I've never read a story written like yours. From second person to third person. Second person is very uncommon in itself, but to switch it every-so-often? I thought it was strange at first, but I quickly realized that I really liked the way you executed it. Great job!

I will say—as I stated in the summary—that I'm not a huge fan of BTS. The fact that I enjoyed the story the way I did surprised me, and I think that's the start of something great!

I liked the way you slowly revealed the plot. It gave us something to keep reading to find out. Again, well done!

Character Development: 4/5

Hoseok is such a relatable character. The way he struggles—I can relate so hard. He cares about his job—Wattpad characters tend to forget they have a job, so I appreciate a character that actually cares. 

I can't say much about Haneul, since that is the reader. I like the fact that she's kind of like his care-taker. She tries to take care of him, and I like the banter that they have. 

I wish we got mote information about Haneul. He/she is an important person to Hoseok, so it's important that we get more information about them. 

Characterisation: 5/5

The characters were so different and lovable. There were clear differences between each character, and I liked that.

I absolutely hate when issues are romanticized. Hoseok's mental illness isn't romanized at all, and you represented it well. I like the way you took your time to reveal his mental illness, and you gave hints earlier on that he might have it. Great job!

OVERALL SCORE: 18/20

Overall, this was a great read. It was so nice to relax and read. Just fix the issues with the dialogue and give Haneul some depth, and you should be good!

If you have any questions, please PM me Marykhah77.