In my little world ( Completed )

what if ?

Anjana's narration : 

                           "why don't you use this chance ?" questioned Pavan.

"will he say yes ?" I asked him. "who knows ? give it a shot " said pavan. Its been almost 4 months since I saw my parents. Even though I'm a grown up, sometimes  the kid inside me comes out  who is ready to run to their parents  once the school gates are opened. Nothing could be as heavenly as a small warm  hug from your mom combined with her soothing words saying "o my baby" which clears all the tensions and stress. And I'm craving for it right now !

Christmas was on saturday and if I take  leave for 2 days before christmas ,then I would get 2 more holidays which are official and not  counted as leaves. I didn't realise this until pavan gave this idea. I went to Achyuth sir's cabin to take permission. I know the wonderful  luck I have - always plays hide and seek. But this time I hope it will  surrender without making me run behind it.     

He was seriously involved in his work on the laptop. I told him that I want leave for 2 days. He said ok  without asking me any other question.I was surprised to see him agree without any arguments.  But my surprise became uncertain  when he called me back, when I was about to leave his room. "So you asked me for leave  on Thursday and Friday. Will  you come on saturday ?" he  asked  after noticing the  conversation properly. I smiled slowly and said, "well saturday is christmas and sunday is anyway a holiday sir. So ill...."                                           "So you  will come on Monday right ?" he completed my sentence before I could answer.                       "Yes sir" I said.   "Okay ! escaping wisely" he said staring at me with a wild smile. 

I came out literally jumping on my toes and thanked pavan for his timely free advise.  "thank me with a treat" he asked. "done " I said and  asked him " don't you want to go home ?"                           "Now ? I have no sibling like you. what should I do at my home ?" said pavan.                                          "you know sometimes having siblings is also boring !" I said.   "why akka (big sister) your brother doesn't entertain you well?" he asked.  "he  irritates  me a lot " I said.   "you should be glad that atleast you have somebody " he replied. I could read the lonely kid deprived from an ideal family from his voice.   

With the happiness touching the burj  khalifa I went to my home. My granny as usual filled my tummy with all her sweets. My father started walking slowly with a stick and was getting rid of bed sores. "your classmate keerthi got a job in some company with a package of 25 lakh/ annum. last week I met her mother at the grocery store and she already started to showoff " said my mom. 

For  few seconds I was disconnected from the world and thought about keerthi when we were studying  together. She was an average student and was neither regular to classes nor punctual. Nobody would expect her to achieve something of this kind.  " if our Anju had continued her studies she would have a good job like keerthi. One storm made our lives upside down after which darkness is the only path left for us" sighed my mom.                                                                            " Lakshmi !  don't think that we'll remain in this darkness forever. One day we all will get to see that beautiful bright day,wait for it. Now stop telling all this Tv serial stories and give her some hair massage" said my granny trying to build up the hope

 The next day, I saw something which I never ever expected and thought that I would experience in my life. My brother took my laptop for some work and gave it back to me. By chance the HISTORY revealed a mistery which got  on my nerves.  At this age a  17 year old Indian boy who  should be preparing for his board exams and entrance exams got out of his track and took a wrong  path and was watching porn. This disturbed me more than my father's  condition.

Why can't he see a helpless father fighting his  illness ?                                   Why can't he see  a mother who is sewing day and night till her heels cry in pain ?                                                 why don't he notice my grandmother who is finding all possible ways to support my bedridden father ?
And why did he forget about a sister who went  thousands of miles struggling to save each and every penny she is earning, expecting his brother to  get into a good college and have bright future. I  was furious, frustrated , fallen and bursted upon him in fury without  the knowledge of  my parents. 

                       *******

After 4 days I came back to my routine life and one bad news was waiting for me!  we were alloted night shifts for 2 continuous weeks. However keeping all my laziness aside, I finished 14 days and on the last day I had to come back to morning shift without a day off. I was completely burnt out after the night shift  and was not in a mood to work the next morning. Bed and sleeping  on it were the only 2 things that  circulated in my mind the entire day. I was just waiting for the day to finish, so that I could run and hug my bed. 

"Are you coming in or not ?" I heard someone screaming  which made my dozy eyes open wide. Instead of going in I made people  inside the elevator wait,by standing  outside the door drowning in drowsiness. Achyuth sir was standing right  infront of me in the middle of the  elevator. "sorry sorry " I apologized and  quickly stepped inside. 

On the way back to hostel in the metro, I managed to sit on a seat, that had very little space.There's no chance to move  an inch as it is heavily packed with people from all sides and even a slight movement could give me blows and hits from peoples elbows, bags and shoes. Several thoughts started striking my mind. 

 My moms words somewhere did effect  me. If a girl like keerthi who is not much talented than me can get a whooping package, then why not me ? In this world where money becomes the only yardstick to measure one's success and  the amount of respect you earn is dictated by the  wealth you possess, then where do I stand ?   Am I worthless ? Or maybe I'm underestimating myself ?                                                                                                                               I'll complete my first year as an employee in this office by the next week. And if I look back, what did I achieve ? working like a night owl dead tired to earn this small figure of salary ?                      
 What if I have to work like this for the rest of my life just the same  way? I'm trapped inside this metro, sitting but no freedom to relax and no privilege to breathe comfortably.                                  What if I can take another road where I have no pressure to live upto people's expectations, and without any tensions?                                                                                                                                                   what  If I dare  to move out of this work, in the same way  like I dare to move from this  seat in this train  ? will I get hit the same way  in my life ?