Tough Love (ManXMan)

Chapter 50.

One week later (One year anniversary.)

Roman

I woke up in a very good mood this beautiful morning, absolutely no nightmares it wasn't a sleepless night, it was a dreamless night which means I had a good refreshing sleep.

Today is our anniversary exactly one year that we've been boyfriends and even though I haven't seen Jalil for about three weeks, the past week has been me making strides to be worthy of Jalil.

Now I won't say that I've suddenly become the model guy in a matter of one week but the shrink Dr Dawkins has been helping me figure some things out. The very first session I'd just sat there and stared at her while she kept trying to shrink me out but she wasn't succeeding. However, she was prepared for me as she brought out some pictures of Joe, ones with me, Joe, and Callum, one with Joe, me, Elijah, Callum, and Tierney, one with the whole squad members, one with me, Joe, Cece, and baby Cameron, and many others including the wedding pictures. I had smashed her glass table when she wouldn't stop putting the pictures in my fucking face but she said that was a step in the right direction.

After four sessions of two hours, I can honestly say 'Joe's death wasn't my fault' without doubting myself. She'd said I was suffering from something called 'survivors guilt' since I went through a similar ordeal months earlier and survived and now a close person to me lost his life to a similar ordeal, I was angry at myself for surviving and not being able to save Joe the same way I was saved.

We'd also talked a little about mine and Jalil's relationship and it will forever haunt me to think that I numbed myself up to the point that I detached myself from him, only seeking sexual pleasure to find some sort of release from my internal battles.

Lorenzo and Elijah have also made it an habit to randomly check on me at odd hours of the day to see if I was sober. Lorenzo came at 2:00am the other day and I'd almost incapacitated him thinking it was a robber but it turned out to be him. They made sure the apartment was always clean, I was taking care of myself both internally and externally, and that all communication with Jalil was off till I was in a better place.

To begin my process in seeking forgiveness I'd woken up as early as 6:00am to clean the house, take my bath, make some toast, and giving myself a long pep talk before making my way to aunt Yasmeen's house right after I get his first gift.

I drive straight to the animal shelter first to pick up the baby Labrador Retriever that I got for Jalil, he has always wanted one from childhood but due to the moving around and his father's allergy to pets he couldn't have one. I'd visited the animal shelter and immediately sighted the nine week old Labrador Retriever and I knew he would be perfect for Jalil. After picking up the Lab and purchasing the essentials for a puppy, I head over to the house. I refrained from naming the puppy, totally leaving that to my boyfriend.

With the help of Lorenzo and Lexi they had made sure that Jalil didn't have to go to work today though it took a lot of pleading for Lexi to agree after she practically finished me with her eyes. I've been shot and shot at but nothing has ever scared me like Lorenzo and Lexi in the same room when it concerns Jalil, but at least I know he'll always be safe with or without me.

Aunt Yasmeen had also agreed to leave the door open for me since Jalil was always in his room and she'd have left for work by the time I arrived.

The plan is to present the beautiful puppy to him and attached to the puppy's neck is a letter personally customized by me. Now with my art skills practically at the bare minimum this should either get me a pillow thrown at my head or grant me two minutes of audience to ask him to breakfast. I'm hoping for the latter.