Tough Love (ManXMan)

Chapter 48.

Roman

We touched base in America about two hours ago and after the usual paperwork and stuff we're finally able to head to our homes. I didn't tell anybody that I was back yet including Jalil, not out of spite or anything I just need time and no grand gesture, just time alone.

Elijah had offered to drop me off at home since I didn't also have a means of transportation home without having to call someone for help.

"What you feel is normal Rome." Elijah states and it takes a moment of confusion at the randomness of it to realize that tears were spilling from my eyes again. I'd recalled a moment when Joe was on driving duty to drop off Tierney, Callum and I at our various houses, absolute shambles his driving was, it felt like I was in the car of a maniac with the speed at which he was driving on that fateful day. I remember thinking 'bullets from terrorists didn't kill me but Joe's driving definitely would now.' and now he's gone just like that. "If there's anything I can do, just let me know."

I ignore his plea to help and just alight from the car as soon as he parks in a vacant space. Taking quick steps I skip through about three stairs at once before unlocking the door and getting in.

Jalil is watching some soap opera while cuddled up under a heap of blankets but his eyes widen as soon as he sees me and the next thing I know he's barreling towards me. He jumps into my arms with his ankles locked behind me as I hold him up, he starts kissing me all over I guess before seeing the tears still rolling down my face. I still don't feel anything even when I see Jalil, of course my heart belongs to him but I just can't get myself out of my numbness to feel something, anything.

He slowly slips down to stand in front of me with curious eyes as to why I'm crying "O my goodness, what happened Romy?" He leads us to the couch before gently pushing me down while standing in between my legs.

"Joe died yesterday" *hiccup* "in my fucking arms." hot tears cascade down my face and the look of horror is unparalleled on Jalil's face too.

"Dio Santo, Joe is..... was... is dead?" he whispers to himself slowly testing the words in his mouth slowly while unconsciously running his hand through my hair. "He is... was... o god I'm so sorry Romy." he mutters.

"Don't apologize, you didn't kill him." I snap at him before standing up and making my way to the bathroom to go freshen up and try to get some sleep.

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Somehow during the course of my nap, Jalil joined me in bed because I wake up about five hours later which is the longest I've slept since deployment. I wake up to see him basically wrapped around me. His hands are tightly wrapped around me as his legs cage mine in place, I feel his breath fan the back of my neck in short he's the big spoon.

I disentangle myself from his grip before pedalling to the kitchen and I see that he made some Chicken Alfredo, a fruit bowl of my favorite fruits, and brownies for dessert along with a big cup of Lemonade. I eye the lemonade for a minute but it's not what I want so I back track to the fridge to grab a beer but there's none. However, there's a bottle of Jack Daniel's and I don't know the owner since Jalil doesn't drink but it's going into my stomach I know for sure.

I grab the brownies and the bottle of Whiskey before making my way to the couch. The News channel was talking about the capture of one of the most notorious terrorist to have ever lived, deemed uncatchable but now he's been captured yay. I throw the remote at the wall because they don't fucking know how he was captured or who died or lived during the mission. I take a big swig of the whiskey straight from the bottle before taking a large bite of the brownies and so the motion continues. I do this till the wee hours of the morning when the bottle is all finished and all the brownies are long gone, I stumble back to bed as drunk as a motherfucking skunk but the altered state of mind is enough to get me to stop the numbness for the mean time.