Used To This

~How Do You Get To Know Her?~

Shawn's P.O.V.

Bits of memories came back to me again, hazy dreams and confusing things were what almost caused me insanity at this point. I know this it wasn't a dream, I know for sure that it did happen in the past because it felt real, it felt as if I was really there and I was the one who had those memories.

It felt as if it was a forgotten memory that is now slowly coming back to me after so many years.

It was pitched dark as I opened my eyes, it isn't a dream where I could see myself, my body wondering around. It was a dream where only what I can see is the one appearing. There were no other things around me, it was just pure blackness making you feel alone and scared.

All of a sudden a small sound rang in my ear, it was a pleasant sound, seemingly trying to soothe me down and lull me to sleep. A small dot illuminated the whole scene and then revealed a small couch in a porch of what it seemed like veranda. It was a white couch that occupies a fourth of the space, the mirror railings were slowly illuminated by the wonderful sunset giving such an impressive and breathtaking scene.

Slowly, the dream changes into something I couldn't quite understand. I could see a guitar placed on top of someone's lap, a hand was strumming it, looking as if that person was enjoying it. The hand was small, seemingly a woman's hand with how slender and tiny it looked when she held the guitar. There was a brief blinding flash and then all of a sudden a big hand came into the picture and held the woman's hand in his.

Immediately this had caused me to sprung up on bed and turned to look at my surroundings, I needed to know and check where I really am because that dream felt so real as if I was already living inside it once more. Each feature of my room screams that this is my house, each furniture and even the clock which says I still have half an hour left to sleep was true and real.

My head was slowly starting to hurt an dim afraid it will still continue if I rest and go back to sleep just like what I did yesterday. No matter how small those memories flooding are, I couldn't help but fall sick the next morning it appears.

My vision suddenly turned down to look at my hand, it was long big and slender but one distinct feature that I have is that there was a sparrow tattoo on my right hand, clearly screaming to the whole world that I am Shawn Mendes.

I was just sitting there, looking at my hands and I suddenly felt as if I was frozen with what I had just realized. The hand in my memories, the hand in what it appears to me like a dream also had that tattoo...

That man who was with that woman...

Is me...

But it's so impossible. I couldn't even remember when and where that happened, as far as I can remember I don't have any house nor any kind of penthouse with that kind of veranda. The couches that I have at home were either gray or black and they wouldn't be placed on the veranda as they might get wet, I don't put them there for enough reasons even if I really liked sightseeing and staring at the stars at night.

The guitars that I have were all in my house with my parents in Toronto and one was with me at the house where Connor and I shares. The dream absolutely makes no sense to me if I am that man... Well if I am then where was that place? Is it here in Los Angeles or outside and in a different country? Was that veranda mine or the woman I'm with?...

But that woman... who is that woman?

She acts and looks like not the type of woman whom I've been with in the past, with her simple fingers and uncoated nails I knew that she was so different from the women who tried to flaunt themselves to me because they are gold diggers and wanted fame. The way her hand seemed so simple made it more confusing to me, where had I meet someone like her? Is it in Los Angeles? Is she here or not?